Stupid hormones/uncontrollable crying

[chelsealynnb]

Well I had my first bout of uncontrollable crying today. I could tell my hormones were off more than usual this morning because I was getting so aggravated with DS1 trying to vacuum. But then I went and finished up my Christmas shopping with my best friend and had a great time! Well when I was out, I bought 2 pairs of pajamas for myself. When I got home and was getting ready for bed, I tried the pajamas on and found that both pairs were way too small for me. I got upset because I've gained roughly 30 pounds so far but figured I would just return them. Well when I got into bed, DH wanted to DTD and Urgh, I just felt so fat and disgusting the whole time. I held back tears the entire time (DH had no idea, it was pitch dark) and when he was finished I ran into the bathroom and sobbed, then went into the living room and cried some more. DH could tell sometbing was wrong with me even though he didn't see me crying and came out into the living room asking what was wrong, and at first I didn't want to tell him because I was afraid he would think I was insane or stupid. He insisted though so I told him and he just looked really confused and kept saying "but you're pregnant you're supposed to gain weight". I used to have an eating disorder in high school and can't stand this. I feel like when I'm bigger people look down on me, talk behind my back and think I'm disgusting. I felt like this before I had DS2 as well and lost 10 pounds at around 38 weeks because...it's hard to explain but whenever I feel like this I hate eating so much that I can barely swallow food, it makes me want to gag it back up. Urgh I am going to look up some healthy food items recommended for pregnant women but I hope I snap out of this really quickly.

 

[laura109]

I dont even dtd now. Im too achy fat and tired. You will get your figure back. People will look at your bump and think aww baby and how cute. Nobody will be thinking your fat.

i feel your pain about nothing fitting now. Im living in one pair of jeans. You can treat yourself to some nice jammas after your baby is born. I am crying sometimes too. I want to just hide in the house. I want to give birth at home too lol. The hospital is 45 mins away and im getting quite emotional about the painful long drive xx

 

[teamandy]

Girllll I feel you.
I'm 33.3 days right now and I've had so much "FML" moments where I just strip naked and walk around in my bathrobe all evening right after work because I feel too fat and disgusting to even try to get dressed normally around the house. Getting dressed for work sucks!
I live in leggings at the moment. I didn't necessarily have an eating disorder but I was very regimented when it came to health and fitness. I ran everyday and always kept a body fat of 13.5. I've only gained maybe 20 pounds but just because of my small height (5'2) I feel sooo disgusting and I'm at this point where I feel like my body is so gross to look at. When I'm getting out of bed to get changed, I yell at my husband "DONT LOOK".

I've had soooo much breakdown moments.
But honestly, I never knew I'd be someone to say this, I know its temporary and the reward is greater Its weird being at this point where I'm like "hey, i'm married, Im gonna have a beautiful baby boy, as long as I'm healthy, whats the point in looking perfect"

Its just a rough week! you'll get through. I understand you!!

 

[Mummy to be x]

xx

 

[alexspargo]

Oh honey, I can relate. I too have issues with food and have since I was a teenager. I have gained 20 lbs so far which I know is right on track but I can't help but feel gross and unattractive. I have to keep telling myself its for the baby's health and that I will go back to normal in a few months after the baby is born. This is my fourth so I know that I will be back to normal pretty quickly but I am dreading having to get bigger. I still have 11 weeks to go and at least 10 more pounds. Big hugs lady because I certainly can empathize.