such a bloody mess!

[lushious09]

I wont go into full details but my relationship broke down when i was 2months pregnant due to him cheating on me with a girl up at uni... anyways he has gone up and down with support one moment he is supportive the next he wasnt... hes family finally found out and he became a closed book and wouldnt speak to them about anything... im 3 weeks off my due date and his family have been amazing with support... last week i met his mum for a brew and she said he wasnt in his room when she woke up ... i then sore her again on friday and there was still no sign on him so hed upd and buggered off in middle of night without telling them a thing his mum txt him asking where the hell he was to which he replied bk where he went to uni at... hes graduated so there wasnt a need for him to be there... and that he planned on been back on sunday... well i found out exactly why he went there... basicly for a dirty weekend with the girl he cheated on me with

Whats disgusted me is that he didnt even have the curtisy to inform me or his fam he was buggering off... the fact he crept back into the house when he came home to avoid conflict and whats worst ... after staying at mine the sat night when we spoke about things he goes and sods off there for a dirty weekend and leaves all of us to deal with the crap and hurt!

Now i messaged this girl on f.b and she wants to speak on phone 2nyt ... i dont even wanna know what hes said or been up 2 2bh hes obvs lied to her saying this baby dosnt exist or some crap as why would u give someone another chance?

His mum dosnt know about her and it would kill her if she found out what hed been up too... but now im worrying that after speaking to this lass she will obvs kick off at my ex who will in return make it even more difficult for me and his fam...which i dont want...

WHAT THE HELL DO I DO :S

 

[lal]

Don't talk to the girl, it will just be more hurtful to you and he will twist it into a "competition" between the 2 of you - where neither you nor this girl believe the other, when he is the one lying about everything...it will make him more tempting for her, she will feel like he is "choosing" her over you and the baby, when really he's just looking for attention and to hide from responsibility. Tell his mom where he's been, matter of factly, and tell him that you want nothing to do with him, he can sleep with all the girls he wants to, how many babies does he want at the same age?? Ugh, men are disgusting.

 

[lushious09]

tell me about it... thing is though i really dont wanna tell his mum and i dont want her to have to deal with the fact her son has done this on top of everything... shes such a sensative and lovely person ... it would literally crush her ... i know if i spoke to the girl it would just agrivate him and neither me nor his family will ever get any where... but then if i ignore her?... it leaves the door open for him to keep treating me like a fool!!

Maybe if i txt her saying i dont wanna talk about this all over again i dont wanna know what hes been telling you nor do i want to know whats been going on the facts is his baby is due in 3 weeks and we could all do without him making it harder

or summit like that?

oh i dunno its so messy

 

[lal]

I'd cut ties w/ the girl, anything you do will look like jealousy, act like you don't care or want him (which hopefully you won't at some point), and she won't either. Don't overestimate the compassion of fellow women (I made that mistake - my FOB's ex gf has been sleeping with him, knowing that I'm pregnant, and plans on being with him after I have baby). I wouldn't text her or respond to her at all - you have too much to deal with, you do not need this petty, childish drama he is causing to add to it!

It is great that his mom is so supportive - that is exactly why I'd want her to know what was really going on. It will be hard for her to hear, but isn't that better than her thinking he isn't doing anything wrong? What if he turns it to make her think it is your fault? I'd just tell her that you found out he was with another girl when he "disappeared", and that you want to maintain a friendship with her and the family, but that you are (rightfully!) very hurt by him and don't trust him to be in your life right now.

If you help him hide his behavior, he will continue it - and if he has been lying to this girl, it will just be another girl next time. This guy isn't worth all of the heartache he is going to cause you - he thinks he has you stuck, because of the baby - prove him wrong, don't let him treat you like this. Maybe he'll grow up and get his act together, if you make him - if not, you'll find someone better. But if you let him treat you like this, he will!

 

[popples]

I disagree and think that you should talk to the girl. The reason being that if she is fully aware of your situation she will hopefully dump him. You could save her from months of lies and heartache and even a pregnancy. Of course we all see things from of our view and what we have been through. I was the other woman. The trouble was I didn't know until I became pregnant. Then he did a runner and guess what? He was living a double life and got his so say ex pregnant. I wish somebody had told me what he was doing. I know you could argue that she is not your problem and you have enough to deal with. Also she may have already fallen for him and will be prepared to listen to lies. But like I said if someone had told me what the FOB was up to I would have dumped him straight away. I just think there are too many men out there that get away with acting irresponsibly as there is always the next woman to move on to. This woman has shown guts by wanting to know the facts, she's not digging her head in the sand. I don't think there are that many women that would stay with a man who was leaving a pregnant woman to fend for herself after all the man could do that to her and in my case.......he did.

Good luck
X

 

[lal]

That is true, she might be a kind enough person to get out of it and leave you guys alone, but she might not - be careful either way, maybe tell her what really is going on, but leave it at that? Let us know how it goes, I am hoping your situation turns out better than mine...which wouldn't be too hard