Suffering A Missed Miscarriage.... </3

[NavyLadybug]

As I stated, we are currently going through a missed miscarriage. We, unknowingly, lost our baby at 5w3d (by gestational sac measurement) but my body didn't realize it. I am supposed to be 8w4d today.

It took 3 agonizing days to figure out what was wrong and we had 5 different Drs telling us 5 different things but yesterday after severe bleeding and a trip to the ER, we got an answer. Our baby had died. It kills me to know that for 3 weeks I was carrying my dead child in my womb and I didn't even know it, it makes me feel like a failure as a mother.

I've had 2 miscarriages before this, one in 2012 and one last Dec. While these were painful beyond belief, in my mind I would rather have had that happen again then have had a missed miscarriage because at least then you know it hasn't been long. The pain is so much worse knowing that I carried around my deceased child for 3 weeks.

As I understand from what my Dr told me (I was in a haze so its a little foggy) all pregnancy has a 15-20% chance of miscarriage, which I knew. But that after a sac is found, it drops to 5% and of that 5%, only 1% of that group suffers a Missed Miscarriage. So I'm just..... shell shocked I guess. (Again, everything was a haze so I may not have heard all that right)

We, with the support of our OB and counselor, decided to "give the baby an identity" as the counselor put it, even though that sounds so cold being said that way. That means though that we decided to give the baby a name. I just couldn't bear for a child that we wanted, tried for and loved so much to pass completely without so much as a name. I didn't want them to be "that baby we miscarried", I wanted them to be the baby they were, not just something that happened.

So, since we didn't know the sex, we decided on the name Robin Leigh. We didn't know before we picked the name that while Robin is obviously like the bird, Leigh meant "Meadow". When we found that out my husband said, "It fits, our Little Robin Egg, who never got to hatch, went back to his own little meadow."

https://lagf.lilypie.com/hg3tm4.png

Anyway, thank you for reading. I wish everyone the best in their own journeys, be they happy or sad.

 

[lovemybubba]

I'm so so sorry for your loss, and your previous ones. Big hugs x
I've also recently suffered a missed miscarriage. I went for my 12 week scan, and found out that the baby had stopped growing at 11 weeks. It is a horrible feeling to know that your baby had passed and you never knew. Like your body has failed you and your baby.
I've been trying to tell myself that everything happens for a reason, and I believe it does.
It does slowly start to get easier, but is still upsetting.
Again, sending huge hugs xx

 

[NavyLadybug]

Thank you, hugs to you as well for your loss.

 

[Resha]

Sorry for your loss!
I was pregnant with twins and both of them were a missed miscarrage. One was only 6 weeks the other was 8. I was lucky enough to see my little one (at 8 weeks) heart beat. It took the doctors around 3 weeks for me as well to figure out what was going on. We are placing our babies names on our family tree that my husband and I carved before we were married, I am calling them my angel babies. I love your name and what your husband said, so beautiful. Sending a hug!

 

[lilmisscaviar]

I'm sorry to hear about your loss

Coming from a similar situation, I can say that I've been there, done that too so I know exactly how you feel. I also have given my three angel babies names. Since I've had three it makes it easier to differentiate them by name than by saying "my first mc, second mc and third mc". I also know how it feels to be told you've been carrying around a deceased child. You're starting to get on the high of finding out you're pregnant only to find out that it is in fact a missed miscarriage and it feels like the rug has been jerked out from under you... that is really the only way I can describe it.

I just passed my baby this passed Sunday. I was gutted because I didn't want to believe it but the blood and clots in the toilet forced me to come to the stubborn conclusion that mother nature can be cruel sometimes. I want my baby back. I feel so empty inside without him/her. I can only imagine what you're going through and I offer you all the support in the world.

 

[EverythingXd]

I'm so sorry for your loss I know what you're going through, I too have just had a MMC having carried my baby for 3 weeks after passing. I was 11+4 and baby measured 8+5

Mine is extremely recent, I only found out at my 12 week scan yesterday morning (Friday). They let me return later in the day for 'medical assistance' and I started contractions 2 hours later. I gave birth on the toilet yesterday evening and I just can't shake the feeling that I didn't see my baby. I know it wouldn't have looked like a baby, but it just seems wrong that he/she was flushed down the toilet and I didn't even see it This was my 2nd loss in under 6 months, I'm having a little pity party right now but still grateful for the 2 amazing boys and wonderful DH I have.

Sending you big hugs. It does get easier, I know this from my ectopic in January x x

 

[NavyLadybug]

Resha: Thank you and that's a wonderful sentiment with the family tree. I'm sorry for your loss

Lilmisscaviar: With my first two MCs I gave them a name of sorts, we call our first angel baby by JP (Our girl name was Jocelyn and our boy name was Patrick) and our second angel baby by AJ (Our girl name was Arabella and our boy name was Jude). I never even got the chance to have an OB appointment with them, as I was 5w with JP and 6w with AJ so I guess I never felt the "realness" and "attachment" that comes with seeing the Dr and an u/s for the first time? Idk how to explain it really. I'm sorry for your losses though

EverythingXd: I'm so sorry for your loss. Mine is very prolonged, it's been nearly 2 weeks since everything started with the spotting and I've been having heavy bleeding and passing tissue for the past week.