super sad...

[tatsNflowers]

After having to supplement at the hospital with a nipple shield, the nurses giving him bottle and pacifiers without my permission, meeting with the consultant, constantly trying to get him to latch, him latching, sucking twice, and pulling away everytime being 1 week old, drinking and eating like I should, 3 different pumps, constant pumping, and my supply was 1/4 of an ounce by the time he was 3 weeks old, I gave up. He's 11 weeks old now. Every time I give him a bottle my heart still breaks. I should have kept trying. I'm so sad that this happened. Now there's a new little one in our home that I'm helping the mother with and she can breastfeed without many problems. She didn't even want to bf. I read all the books. I watched video after video. I spent my whole pregnancy buying nursing shirts, nursing bras, a pillow, and a lot of other things. We didn't even have any bottles when he came because I was so sure it would work. I loved having that connection with my son the whole week it lasted. No matter how hard it was to get it to work when it finally did I love it. My heart is so broken about it. Idk what to do to get over this. No matter what I tell myself I still tear up. Life's not fair I guess...

 

[annio84]

Sorry you feel so sad about this. Sometimes all our best intentions go out of the window because it's just not meant to be. It sounds like you can safely say you tried your best and chosing to go onto bottles has been the best decision for your baby. Try not to feel bad about it, it makes no difference to how much you love your baby, or how much he loves you - you're still the most important person in the world to him. It's so hard with everything we're told about breastfeeding but it doesn't make formula a poor choice. Try to enjoy your baby and not to let this spoil it for you. You're doing a great job!

 

[Miss_Cellany]

I know exactly how you feel. My boy had tongue tie badly so every time he latched on correctly he'd take a few sucks and then slip slightly and end up sucking the nipple only so I would unlatch and start the process over and over again. It caused absolute agony and he wasn't getting enough milk. Took him to have his tongue-tie sorted and speak to the lactation consultants at 1 week old and thought everything wound be fine but it still didn't work, he still couldn't latch correctly and we were both incredibly stressed. I made the decision to formula feed with some pumping but of course my supply soon dried up. At about 3 weeks he was on formula exclusively.

He's 12 weeks now and theres not a day that I don't think I didn't persevere enough and feel guilty. But he is a very happy baby and is healthy so I try to remind myself it was the best thing for us.

 

[melfy77]

So sorry I went through something similar with DD1. She never nursed well, was still losing weight 2 weeks after birth (and she was 6lbs so couldn't lose too much anyway). I ended up pumping and FF after 2 weeks and stopped BF'ing after 1 month. Then FF only from 3 months. She's as healthy as she could be, eats everything and is doing very well in the charts.

As for DD2 (she's 3 1/2 weeks old), she nurses so well!!! Easy to BF and has already put on over 1lbs!! (she was 6lbs 14 oz at birth). Every baby is different, and you did your best.

Some people will say that BF'ing success/failure is all about the mother, but clearly those women never had a hard time BF'ing!! You didn't do anything wrong!!

 

[Eleanor ace]

So sorry hun . Please don't beat yourself, you did all you could, sometimes it just doesn't work. Your LO will be just as happy FF as he was BF, cuddles while you're feeding him a bottle will feel just as snuggly as when you were BFing. I'm having to stop BFing my DD and feeling so sad and guilty about it too, so I can sympathise there.

 

[Odd Socks]

Please try to let go. I had similar with my eldest, she wouldn't latch & by a month old, was exclusively formula fed. I felt so sad whenever I went places & saw other mums breastfeeding as I bottle fed my child & it really did taint the first year of her life. She's now a healthy, happy, cheeky 3.5 year old.

& I had no problems breastfeeding my youngest, who's two & would still breastfeed all day if I let her

*hugs*

xx

 

[tatsNflowers]

it's so nice to know i'm not the only one who had these problems! well i knew i wasn't but it's still so nice to hear. my heart still hurts but not as badly! =)