swapping alternate xmas'

[luci and bump]

I'm not entirely sure if this is the right place for this, but I think you ladies are best equipped to help me.
My OH has a LO who lives 5 hours away with her mum. She comes to us every 8 weeks for 10-14 days. They have an agreement where they have her for every other xmas and birthday (her bday is jan 31st) we had her for her 2nd bday, and we were due to have her this xmas. OH's ex also has a son with another father. Both her kids were supposed to be with their dads this year. Her sons dad is now away for xmas, so he'll be with her. She then text OH a guilt trip saying if she didn't have both of her children, she didn't know how she'd explain santa, so she'd have to wait to give her son his presents until SD was home. OH said as long as SD came down boxing day, he'd give up xmas day. So we now have a 10 hour round trip on boxing day, and my LO is now going to be with her dad over xmas so we could have both girls together. That was all fine, until he let slip that his ex also expects to have SD next xmas, as its her year. Does this seem fair to you? That'll be 3 years in a row she's had SD for xmas. She also didn't mention this before OH agreed to this xmas. It either means my LO is with her dad again next year, or that we end up having every xmas with an different child, which is what we'd tried to avoid this year.
Sorry if it doesn't make much sense, I'm pissed off and rambling. OH doesn't stand up to his ex, he's worried she'd stop him seeing SD for a while (she's pretty spiteful )

 

[Tanikins]

No thats deffo unfair. If ex getting 2 years in a row, you should get 2 years in my opinion

 

[baileybubs]

I agree it's not fair, if they've made an agreement to do alternate Xmas and she's the one who wants to change then she has to give up her Xmas next year instead. You are going to a lot of trouble to accomodate her by making that trip on Boxing Day too! That's a bit my to expect.

 

[Ceejay123]

No that's completely unfair. He's already being flexible agreeing to swap. I can see wanting to keep the kids together, I'd be the same.. But she needs some time with her daddy x

 

[teal]

This sounds very complicated with trying to keep everyone happy. Totally understand why you'd want to have the two girls together but I suppose she wants the same with her two. She should definitely be trying to arrange her other ex to rearrange the following year since it was him who caused all the change of plans.
Awful your OH is worried she'd stop him seeing her, really don't understand women who think it's ok to use their children to get back an ex xx

 

[luci and bump]

Her ex is in the forces I think, all I was told is that he'll be in Iraq this xmas now. So I'd assumed her son would be with his dad xmas 2015 and OHs DD would be with us. But his ex apparently is only willing to be flexible when it means she gets additional xmas'.
She's a vile woman. Told OH originally he could only have her for 10 days (she had to be home by the 10th day) then suddenly she wanted to go away for 2 weeks and OH is now allowed LO for 2 weeks! Convenient huh!!
OH tried to say that she can't dictate when he sees LO, or how long for, and that he'd had legal advice on the matter. She replied with "try spouting legal shit at me and you won't see DD until it's been through the court" she's a complete bitch.

 

[teal]

Ahh well that would make sense for her son to see his dad the following year so it's not messing up the entire routine!
She sounds like a vile woman! She should grow up and put her child first instead of threatening your OH with not seeing his child.
It really annoys me when someone does that. Does she not realise how wonderful it is that her child has a loving parent who wants to see her and be a part of her life! My ex has refused to be in my son's life and to this day hasn't met him and it's all his choice.

I hope you're all ok xx