Taking on a teen?????

[ladyjayne]

So long story short my DH and I have agreed to have his sister move 200 miles away from her family to live with us, shes got herself in a lot of trouble where she lives and shes chosen to get away from it all and asked to live with us.
Its gonna be a handful i know. With our LO and step daughter and now a 16year old to take care of too??? Anyone got any advice they can give me on how to deal with it all. Her mum is contributing finacially, and were going to convert the garage to make a room, we've got an interview next week to get her into college and we'll be taking her job hunting. but ow do i make sure that my LO doesnt suffer and loose out on our time or let my relationship with my hubby slip, I'm only 21 so its a big ajustment to take care of a teen and i just need some helpful advice. im at a complete loss on how to bring her up!

 

[Natasha2605]

I'm a teen and the only thing I'd suggest is that you try to relate more to her, which because of your own age you'll probably do anyway. I know that if I was in that situation ( as the girl) I would more appreciate gentle guidence rather than being parented as such. Obviously the fact she's chosen to get away shows she wants to change or whatever so at least you shouldn't have to deal with resitance ect. xx

 

[mummy3]

I agree, shes showing her maturity by choosing change
IMO, I'd treat her pretty much as an adult and not try to parent her, more as an elder sister/friend.

 

[hellohefalump]

IMO, I'd treat her pretty much as an adult and not try to parent her, more as an elder sister/friend

I agree.

I'm in the same situation myself, but my sister is 13 and anorexic. I'm just trying to give her as much advice as I can, based on my own experiences (I was the same at her age). I'm trying to get her to not make the mistakes I made... she doesn't always listen though.

 

[hellohefalump]

oh yeah, and set boundaries. Clear boundaries that she knows she can't cross (say you'll consider sending her back to her mum if they're crossed).

 

[QuintinsMommy]

just wanted to say good luck , your doing such a nice thing for her.

 

[ladyjayne]

Thanks for all your advice ladies. We sat down with her and set out our boundaries and what was acceptable in our home and she chose to go back with her mum, lol. Obviously my "rules" were a bit much. Tbh I think it was more to do with a 30 something bloke that we refused to have come down to see her as she was supposed to be getting away from that, shes gone back so she can see him. (just a friend were told - im not so sure)
O well thanks anyways! x

 

[Dinoslass]

Good luck!

I think to realte is good, but also make sure what the rules in your house are.
Fortunately she has chosen this herself, so that might make it easier on all of you!

 

[divadexie]

Try to make it seem as if SHE is making the decisions, and get her involved rather than tell her what to do.

I dunno... I hope that when my son gets to teenage age, I will be able to look back at what I hated about being a teenager and use that to work with him.