Talking to existing children about pregnancy.

[Adelicia]

Hi,

I'm in the very early stages of pregnancy (4wks!) so I don't want to over excite my daughter (2.5yrs) with certainty about a baby in the house, but likewise I need her to understand why I'm asking her not to climb on my belly etc. She's already noticed I've bloated up a bit, and I had moderate morning sickness with her so am preparing myself for possibly not being the active mum I am right now for a little while.

She knows that babies grow and develop inside their mothers, and has asked for and been shown birth videos on youtube. She will hopefully be at the birth as it's going to be a home birth, so she has a basic understanding. I don't want to scare her with talking about how the baby might not grow properly or might die, so we are avoiding talking about it in specifics until about pregnancy until we are telling others (You guys are special, so I get to tell you!) after the 12wk scan.

We have a book about babies 'There's a house inside my mummy' which she loves, so I've been talking about how I want to make sure my 'tummy house' doesn't get squashed in case a baby wants to move in. Is this the right thing?

I'm also worried about my milk supply dropping (she's still a frequent nurser and we co-sleep), but I will cross that bridge when we get there.

TIA
Addy

 

[Larkspur]

Tbh I don't think you really need to worry about her climbing on you, babies are extremely well-protected in there.

I would wait until you really have a bump and start the explanation then. I certainly wouldn't explain any potential for problems unless you encounter them.

I understand concerns about supply, I think just deal as it comes. Does she drink cow's milk well?

 

[wannabubba#4]

I told my 3 year old after our first scan - 13w+ - mainly because we have older children and there was a lot of baby talk in the house and I wanted to be the one to tell him . All the others knew at 6weeks but at his young age there was no point until we knew pregnancy was going okay.

xx

 

[hillarylmt]

We waited until we were past the 12 week mark and had had an ultrasound already to tell our boys. I was really nervous, especially because this will be our only child together (I have one from a previous marriage, an he has two, so together we have three boys) They are 9, 9, and 13 so we were worried about jealousy issues, etc. But all three boys were really excited! Showing them the ultrasound pics helped too, I think seeing the actual baby made it more real. We were just open and honest. They are all three coming to my ultrasound in 2 weeks to find out the sex, and they are excited about that.

I'm very active in their lives, and I think the only sign of nervousness I have seen is them being afraid I won't be able to do everything with them that I always have. I make it clear that nothing will change in that matter, and the baby will just have to conform to our way of life. Anything I need to do with them, I will strap the baby to me and we will just do it! I know this may not be entirely true, but it seems to make them feel better to know that a baby joining our family will not change their lives too much, and will in fact enhance it.

I do have to admit, our 9 year olds have yet to ask about the birds and bees. I wonder every day if something about the baby will bring questions up. I am so not prepared for that yet! LOL

Good luck!!

 

[Adelicia]

Thanks for the replies.

We are dairy free in the house (allergies and ethics) so will have to find alternative calcium and fats.

She told a woman in a shop I'm pregnant last week... A day before my BFP

She knows most of the birds and bees. Babies grow in ladies tummy, that the man gives the lady some of his cells and that helps make a baby. Babies come out of a vagina unless they need help and a doctor takes then out the belly.

Trying to avoid overt conversation while she's awake, but I do have to take her to the doctors with me today.

 

[SRTBaby]

We tried bringing it up with our LO and he does not like the idea of having a baby in his house. He is 3 years now i am hoping he will warm up to it in time.

 

[amjon]

We don't really have to worry about it. We do tell them they're having a baby sister but they're only 6 months so don't really understand.

 

[lanaross]

told my 3 yo at around 10 weeks or so. Big mistake. Huge. Big mouth ran over and told every single person she knew. For some reason she knew she was going to have a brother and his name was going to be Greyson. So she knew more than I did at the time
I'd wait until you have a bump, your daughter is still very young and won't understand much until her sibling comes out.