That empty feeling :(

[babyvaughan]

We have been together for 5 years next spring, began to TTC 3 1/2 years ago.. for the first few months we just figured it would happen so easily.

After a few months I started researching and learned about ovulation,
I missed my period for 3 months and though it was pregnancy but turned out to be the start of my extreme case of Endo.

My periods are beyond painful, often I'm hospitalized or begin vomiting its so severe. Doctor told me to take suppressants for the pain but I still dream of my little baby Vaughan, I can't give up. So every month I push through the pain and keep dreaming of my baby.

This month I was 2 days late, I had a EVAP line that made me think I got my first BFP since my Miscarriage in Oct, 2012.

I just feel super down, and like I'm never going to get pregnant.
We both just dream of holding our baby, we still have clothes from our baby
we lost and we just want that precious baby to fill those clothes.

I track my ovulation, but thats about it
PLEASE anything you can think of teach me
so I can try it!

I want to temp but not sure how it works!

 

[AidensMama]

I'm so sorry to hear about your struggles and your lost little one.

I do have a 3 year old, but have been working on #2 for 13 cycles now. I absolutely know how difficult painful periods and confusing cycles can be. I am really irregular and have had several months where I don't see AF and think THIS MUST BE IT! but then I get a BFN and im devastated, or go into denial and fiercely google false negative and late BFP's and everything.

Like you, I started out just tracking my cycles and likely ovulation times. I've just begun temping and planning to start using OPK's and really hope this will help me pinpoint my fertile window.

You can find alot of good information about charting your BBT (basal body temperature) online, and on this site or by reading through threads on TTC forums. Also, Fertility Friend offers courses on their site about charting and temping.

The basics are that you get a good thermometer (one that is specifally for BBT tracking or at least the measure up to the tenth of a degree) and take your temperature when you wake up in the morning, before getting up and moving around or eating or drinking anything. It works best if you do it at the same time everyday (perhaps by an alarm, getting up for work?) If you don't wake up at the same time everyday you can still record your temps it will just be a bit less accurate/effective.

Then, using your temps you have charted you look for a sustained rise in temperature to signal that you ovulated. If you research a bit you can find detailed explanations of how everything works, and how to determine if you have Sustained Thermal Shift.

Also, it's best if you start temping on CD 1 (the first day of your period) so that you get a picture of the entire cycle.

I hope I've helped you with the basics, and that you get the BFP you want really soon. Know that your not alone in your struggle or feelings of hopelessness. It can get really tough, but there are so many success stories out there that I can't help but believe anything is possible. Lots of Baby Dust and Good vibes coming your way.