The Age old Q... when to go again!!

[loulouamy]

So I know that nobody but myself and hubby can decide what is best for our family but I thought Id see what advise anyone can offer. I am 5 weeks pp with our first baby. We have always known we wanted children, we put off having our first for five years, we wanted to buy our home and be ready for a child etc. The question now is, how long do we wait to get pregnant again. It took nearly a year to get pregnant first time around so I am anxious about that.
Id like to hear about your story, how having another baby changed your life, how on earth you coped with the first trimester tiredness/sickness with a child, etc etc, also do you wish you done things different..

 

[_Lexi_]

My consultant said that no matter what type of birth you have, it takes 18-24 months for your body to replenish itself after a pregnancy. He said he knows a lot of women won't wait quite that long, but they do recommend at least a year. I had to have a c section due to iugr at 34 weeks, and was told ideally 2 years, but 6 months at the very minimum. We waited just over 6 months before trying and got pregnant straight away. Joshua never made it home though, so our situation is slightly different as we didn't have a lo at home and had a yearning to hold our rainbow baby.

 

[aimee-lou]

Ideally 12months + for your body to recover. Also means that your 'baby' will be starting to walk, talk etc by the time your next LO arrives which makes things a lot easier on you physically. Eddy has literally just started walking and I've already noticed how much easier things have gotten - he can climb the stairs too now which is a godsend!!!

However, It's possible to 'be' pregnant any point from about 3 weeks PP so until you've made up your mind, use protection lol - something that me and my hubby didn't manage to do and now we'll have a 15 month age gap lol Got to say though I've not noticed any major differences between being pregnant the first time, having a nearly 2 year gap, or having a 5 months gap. They've all been pretty much the same. I've had normal births though so don't know about c-sections.

 

[lewood88]

We tried when dd was 9 months ive always wanted my children close in age i fount out i was pregnant in november when dd was 11 months old, so when baby is born dd will be 22 months old which is a gd age gap, but i honestly believr its down to you when u want another see how u are with this baby first xxxx

 

[lewood88]

Oh and i had a c section with dd too and was never told to wait xx

 

[Annie77]

I waited til my first turned one but then moved house. Then we tried again and got pregnant straight away but miscarried. 6 weeks after I was pregnant again.
I had the terrible twos to deal with during pregnancy and with small baby but they are so close now.
IF I was to have another one after this I would wait atleast a year again.

 

[love2live]

No one touched on the morning sickness part of your question, so I will. My son was actually very helpful while I was sick. He was almost 2 at the time, so he was already very independent. When I would run to the bathroom to throw up he would help hold my hair and rub my back. He never got in the way at all. And when I told him I needed to rest and feel better he would kiss me and put a blanket on me. Honestly he watched a lot more tv than he should have, but it was easy to turn it off and play again once I got my energy back. I thought I wanted my kids a little closer together than they will be, but that didn't work out, and I am so grateful. My first is so capable and so helpful. They will be 2 years and 3 months apart and I think its perfect. At least it is perfect for me.

 

[Jcliff]

Its a personal choice, but we wont be trying again until this baby is at least 3.

 

[Pink Flowers]

I had a friend who got pregnant with in the first month or 2 and her baby was prem because her body couldn't cope. I was told to wait at least a year... I waited 2 and half!

 

[lhill630]

We waited until our DS was 16 months to try again & got pregnant on the first try. We got pregnant on the first try with our first DS too. Anyway, I wasn't ready until then. He was walking, talking, feeding himself, etc. You will know when you are ready. Some people are ready a few months after their first, but for us, we wanted a 2 year age gap. I have had a healthier pregnancy this time b/c I'm more active chasing around my toddler. The first trimester was hard with morning sickness, but I managed as you would too The 2nd trimester is easier, and then the third trimester you are slow moving... but again, you manage.

 

[Eniala]

My plan is to start trying when my LO is 12 months old. I want them to be roughly 2 years apart, but if it's closer than that it's alright. Since my first is due beginning of July, I'd really like the second to be born in the spring/early summer, no later than July. I just think that's the ideal time to have a newborn

 

[poysenivye]

LOL! That's such a funny term. My 5 year old is 13 months younger than my 6 year old who is 11 months younger than my 7 year old. They look like the AT&T bars...but I love the fact that they are so close. I would say though, that it takes a lot out of your body, and my 7 year old was a 38 weeker, 6 year old was 36 weeker and the 5 year old was a 35 weeker; so the body will do what it can, but be aware that your system will be very weak...

 

[sue_88]

I'm going to stop at one !

 

[Spiffynoodles]

My two will be 16 months apart, but as I'm still pregnant, I can only tell you what the pregnancy part is like. I got very lucky and had no morning sickness, so that wasn't a problem, although the first tri tiredness is tough with a little one. However, over all, I've found that it's really not that bad. I know that it's going to be crazy with two little ones so close, but I look forward to the point when they can play together.

Also, I wanted to add that, sure it's nice when your baby is old enough to walk on their own, but when they're still immobile, you can set them down with some toys and just relax on the couch, which was a godsend during first tri, so there are some advantages to starting when your first is still pretty young.

 

[Dani_Ldn]

Ideally we would like a 2 - 2.5 year age gap between children, realistically it will be more like 3 - 4 as we will be moving back to Australia when this baby is 1.5 & I want to be (and need to be) working for at least 12 months to claim mat leave in Australia & we would also like to be a bit settled before being pregnant again.

 

[OmiOmen]

You are right it is a very personal decision and what works for one person won't work for another. Personally I wouldn't advice thinking about TTC a second until at least 2 years later. Firstly, your body could do with recovering. Secondly, a newborn seems so cute you might want to rush into another but once the teething, weaning, potty training and tantrums start it is easy to see the benefit of waiting a bit longer. Babies and younger toddlers are HARD work and adding a newborn to the mix can't be easy, I guess why they is why in the UK the HV watches those with 2 under 2 more closely?

For us there will be 3 years and a few weeks (depending on when DS2 arrives) between ours. This was partly due to me being a mature student so timing the due date just after I finished and partly because we felt DS1 had gone through the really high maintenance stages and could better understand what becoming a sibling would be like.

 

[kitchenware]

My personal experience;
I'm 31 weeks pregnant and my daughter is 20 months, so she will be just a month short of 2 when the baby arrives. I really wanted them to have a small age gap and as I'm off work I thought it made sense to have them close together. Also as my mother had fertility problems I was terrified of having the same thing so I didn't want to delay the process if I ended up needing fertility treatment etc.

I got pregnant faster than expected really and I am delighted, but to be honest it has been tough. I don't know if its because my body hadn't really recovered from last pregnancy but this time has been much more difficult. All the symptoms I had in 3rd trimester last time occured almost immediately this time. In fact I had sciatica and hip pain before I even knew I was pregnant! I was horribly sick up to 16 weeks, and now at 31 months I really struggle to get around.

Meanwhile my daughter has collected almost every bug, germ or cold going round since september - so we have been almost permenantly ill for months (poor baby). She's also teething and insists on being carried around everywhere. I'm exhausted, and really struggle with the physical aspect of chasing after her.
I'm also concerned that when baby arrives is exactly when I should be starting to think about potty training for my eldest and i feel horribly guilty like I'm going to be neglecting her a bit. This has made bonding with this baby a bit difficult and I'm really worried about the birth because of being away from my eldest, to the point where I think I'm going to opt for a c-section to best be able to plan chilcare (we don't have family nearby).

If I had my time again - i would probably still do the same and I am really excited about having my two little girls close together, but I think realistically if I hadn't been so gittery about trying to conceive again I might have waited another year, even if it was to give my body time to recover a bit more and to time it so my daughter was a bit more independent and closer to preschool age.

Hope this helps, apologies don't mean to sound miserable. Its been a long tiring day!

 

[dizzy65]

We waited a year before ntnp and got pregnant a year after so my son had just turned 2

 

[Whatme]

You can see in my tickers how long it took us to conceive again, although we started when our baby was 8 months old, I didn't have proper periods as I was still breast feeding, so we really had no idea how long it would take..
I've been fine so far, its getting harder now though, as I can't really get on the floor so much to play with her.. I wouldn't change it, and we hope for another one after this one, so 3 under 4 hopefully!

 

[Mrs Cupcake]

im 35 weeks pregnant and my lo is 13 months, so pretty close together. he was 5/6 months old when i got pregnant.

i have found it fine, no morning sickness etc. The only thing is i am v v tired and i feel like im more tired than first time round. plus as my baby has grown he has become more demanding. he is a cheeky little toddler and can kick out and wriggle away etc

if i was thinking about getting pregnant now i might be put off a bit so im quite glad i got pregnant when it was still easy! lol