The balancing act.

[Chelsea.ann1]

I'm only 17, I'm single, I'm a full-time college student (started yesterday), and a part time employee..

I'm starting to feel a bit over my head, but I know it's possible. So many women do this and succeed. I won't give up..

But does anybody have any advice? Anything they wish they knew when they started this big of a load?

 

[AbbynChloe]

Hi Chelsea-ann,

I am a single mum, I work full time (40hpw) and suffer from a chronic illness. What I used to think was so many others do it and do it well why can I??

What I have learnt (the very hard way which has seen me hospitalised) is that I can only do as much as I can - and if i'm feeling overwhelmed and things are not getting done, then I am doing too much.

Organisation is key!

I am really impressed at 17 how well you have got it together, just make sure you have plenty of rest and support - and listen to you body!!

 

[LTEx]

Sorry i'm no help as unsure what advice to give, but i'll be honest i take my hat off to you! I'm 21 & a single parent & even when i worked 20 hourrs a week i found i had to juggle alot of things around so i admire you! Only advice i can give is go with your gut feeling: if you feel like you're doing too much, you probably are. Make sure you dont over do it x

 

[dustbunny]

Hello!! Please don't see 17 as a negative!! You're still young enough to have a good pace for life!!! I think it is extremely admirable you've started college when so many other ladies would have given up and your LO will love you even more for wanting to make a better life for yourself and them and with the job as well.

Everything may seem top heavy but it is only at the moment... years from now it will all be different and you will be out the other side of education etc etc. Even months from now the routine will seem the norm and you won't see it as being so top heavy.

I am a big one of quotes so this might cheer you up:

"Don't let the fear of the time it will take to accomplish something stand in the way of your doing it. The time will pass anyway; we might just as well put that passing time to the best possible use."

 

[Chelsea.ann1]

I was really hoping for responses like this..

Sometime's it really IS very hard to remember to follow my gut, before all else.
It's also VERY hard to remember that it isn't forever and that unimaginably as it is right now.. things will settle..

I'm trying to remain positive.. instead of thinking, "i can't do it i have to study before work and Anna needs my attention" I try to think "i'm excited to learn how to manage my time and multi-task" or "i think anna would like to learn about some geography!!!"

thankyou for saying you admire what i'm doing but honestly please don't!
I wasn't smart in my decisions at choosing to have unprotected sex, I had a child at a very very young age without being ready.. i deecided to keep and raise her myself and to me part of that is providing for her and setting an example.. i want her to know and SEE that hard does not mean impossible regardless what society will try to tell her!!

thanks again all... really..

oh that quote is incredible, will definitely write that down somewhere i will see it when things get tough..

 

[1sttimemom08]

First I have to say.. GREAT JOB!
I am 22, single mom, going to school half time and working almost full time (can't get quite enough hours to be considered full as of now). I live under my parents roof, but we pay separate bills, we buy our food separately, and I provide everything that my daughter has. No child support (let alone contact from the idiot "sperm donor" as I like to call him), and no help from others except for babysitting when I work (I work nights so that I can have family help babysit). I know how extremely hard it can be. I had been going to school full time as well, and realized after falling behind for the first time last semester that I had to take it slow. So, I definitely know the feeling.

My absolute best advice for you is something that my mother taught me when she went back to school (I was in 1st grade at the time, but I'll never forget)-- It doesn't matter if you "stay on track" to graduate. Or if you are a full time, part time or half time student through the whole thing. What matters is that you eventually get there, that you understand what you just paid to learn, that you can use that knowledge, and that you didn't miss anything that happened in your own family. Family will always come first."
I am taking that advice to heart now, and feel like it has definitely saved my sanity for the past year (I actually sat in my hospital room almost a year ago, right after having a cesarean, and tried to submit homework assignments.. thats when I realized that I needed to slow down a little).

Good luck, and great job in setting a great example for your little one! I have the same outlook that you do, it seems, and hope for your sake that you aren't over-doing it. Remember.. you can reduce the number of classes you are taking. You can even come back to them later. But you can never get back the time spent while your baby is busy growing up. There is no rewind button there. Enjoy it while it lasts, because soon, they will be doing the same thing with a family of their own.

 

[Chelsea.ann1]

First I have to say.. GREAT JOB!
I am 22, single mom, going to school half time and working almost full time (can't get quite enough hours to be considered full as of now). I live under my parents roof, but we pay separate bills, we buy our food separately, and I provide everything that my daughter has. No child support (let alone contact from the idiot "sperm donor" as I like to call him), and no help from others except for babysitting when I work (I work nights so that I can have family help babysit). I know how extremely hard it can be. I had been going to school full time as well, and realized after falling behind for the first time last semester that I had to take it slow. So, I definitely know the feeling.

My absolute best advice for you is something that my mother taught me when she went back to school (I was in 1st grade at the time, but I'll never forget)-- It doesn't matter if you "stay on track" to graduate. Or if you are a full time, part time or half time student through the whole thing. What matters is that you eventually get there, that you understand what you just paid to learn, that you can use that knowledge, and that you didn't miss anything that happened in your own family. Family will always come first."
I am taking that advice to heart now, and feel like it has definitely saved my sanity for the past year (I actually sat in my hospital room almost a year ago, right after having a cesarean, and tried to submit homework assignments.. thats when I realized that I needed to slow down a little).

Good luck, and great job in setting a great example for your little one! I have the same outlook that you do, it seems, and hope for your sake that you aren't over-doing it. Remember.. you can reduce the number of classes you are taking. You can even come back to them later. But you can never get back the time spent while your baby is busy growing up. There is no rewind button there. Enjoy it while it lasts, because soon, they will be doing the same thing with a family of their own.

Wow.

Our stories seem incredibly similar... I can completely relate to everything you've said...
I have been keeping my limits in mind and I try to base things off of my priorities.. Which right now are..

1) God
2) Anna
3) School
4) Work

I ALWAYS organize things based off of those priorities so that I don't end up regretting things later... Since I have such a great support system I'm able to put school before work as I know they'd rather me continue my education than work on average only 12 hours a week minimum wage...

What you said (your mother said) is definitely something I'm going to keep around.. That's such a great thing to have in mind, ESPECIALLY, when things get hectic.. You're right, Anna's only going to grow up once.

Thankyou so much, everything you've said has really hit home.

 

[1sttimemom08]

Not a problem. It really sounds like you have a great support system around you, and have your head on straight. If you ever need anything, even to vent, I'm just a quick message away.. Usually up late (like tonight) since its my best time to work on homework and such

 

[Chelsea.ann1]

Not a problem. It really sounds like you have a great support system around you, and have your head on straight. If you ever need anything, even to vent, I'm just a quick message away.. Usually up late (like tonight) since its my best time to work on homework and such

I was actually going to ask if that'd be okay.. Thankyou so much.. I think the best motivation is knowing your not alone..

AND your in the US. Makes thing's alot more relatable.