krsna_avtar
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I have always wanted to share my story when the time came with the women community of this pregnancy forum. Inspite of being complete strangers, even without you realizing it, you have helped me immensely to keep my senses through my long, difficult and painful journey to motherhood. Its give back time. Hence this post.
This is going to be a long one. In short I wish to explain how I managed to conceive and deliver a healthy baby inspite of PCOS, being 35+, Recurrent Miscarriages, Male Factor, Failed IUIs...you name it.
November 2009 - Got married. Was 33 years then. I had not given too much thought about getting pregnant immediately. I thought it would happen naturally...like the vast majority who get married and have a child soon after. I was wrong.
February 2010 - Three months since my marriage, right about the time when everyone started asking me if there were any good news from my end, my husband foresaw something was wrong with me and so took me to a gyn. She suggested that I take the home pregnancy test the next day. So did I. It was a faint positive. My emotions were mixed. With my irregular periods on account of the existing thyroid problem, the HPT turning positive was a true surprise to me. On the other hand, I had started spotting two days back. Also for over a week my body temperature was very high. I could clearly sense something was wrong. Paid another visit to the gyn. She asked me to wait and see if the spotting continued. Well the spotting only turned worse after I left her clinic. That evening I developed rigor and miscarried at home for the first time. Spontaneous Abortion, so the radiologist told me the next day at the scan appointment.
October 2010 - Life went by. I was treated for hypo thyroid. The same year in October I realized that I had conceived. I was full of the usual pregnancy symptoms. An early scan confirmed the presence of a gestational sac. I was told to repeat scan in two weeks time. Before the end of the two weeks, I started spotting. The scan report said it was a Blighted Ovum. There ended my pregnancy dream.
I was treated for Thyroid and PCOS. The obgyn had me do the follicular scans every cycle. Soon it became a routine. Cycle after cycle we watched the follicles form, mature, ovulate and HPT negative. The doctor suggested that we try IUI for better results. So did we for the next two cycles. I had read that the IUI procedure is just a little uncomfortable. But for me, it was such a painful experience everytime. I dreaded the mere thought of it. Nevertheless I endured it so many times than I ever imagined I would.
August 2011 - I wanted to take a break from the regular IUI cycles. So I did not turn up for the follicular scans that cycle. It so happened that I conceived naturally in that cycle. This was my third natural conception. At the first early pregnancy scan, to my utter surprise, they detected the heart beat. The fetal heart rate was 90+. Bradycardia, so the report said. I was so happy they could detect a heartbeat. But before I left the hospital after the scan, I checked the scan findings with a doctor. I still remember the utterly hopeless expression on her face. She didnt have to say much. But she did say that it was not good and its not going to get better too. I was heartbroken. After I came home, I researched so much on the internet on this condition. There was good hope that at 90+ the heart rate would get better the following days. I held great hope.
The following week after a much awaited wait, I did the followup scan. To prove the other doctor wrong, the fetal heart rate had gone up to 130. Yes! I was 6 weeks then. The radiologist told me that he detected a mild internal bleeding (SCH) and asked me to consult my ob-gyn. The doctor whom I was consulting doubled my progesterone dosage. She said that should take care of the SCH. She also asked me to repeat the scan in 2 weeks. The wait game again.
September 2011 - With 3 days yet to go for my 8th week scan appointment, I started spotting. With a sinking feeling, I met with the radiologist the same day. He did the scan. He told me the internal bleeding had gotten worse. He also said he was sorry he couldnt detect a heart beat. No heart beat? No words can explain the grief that possessed me when he said that. The same evening I knew I was miscarrying. That night I underwent the second D&C at the hospital.
In the weeks that followed, while I was recovering from my third miscarriage, I did not once step out of my home. I did not report to work. I even avoided talking to people. After I had cried enough, I vowed to myself that I will not give up. I vowed to change my situation. Out of the grief, I built a strong determination. I started researching my condition on the net. I was not happy with the doctor who was treating me. I knew I needed special medical attention and care. I set out on the quest for a good doctor. For the next month, I researched so much that at one point it became my obsession. Finally I decided on who my next doctor would be. There was no looking back after that.
December 2011 - In preparation for my first appointment with my new doctor, I had compiled my case history in a chronological order since the time of my wedding. It included every detail which I thought was relevant. At the end of my consultation, the doctor asked me to discontinue a lot of tablets except those for the thyroid and PCOS that I was taking then. She also prescribed specific tests for me and my husband. I was glad that finally it was not me alone who was subjected to all sorts of tests. We were to do karyotyping as well. Fetal karyotyping was already done at my third miscarriage. I was to get back with the test results when they were ready.
January 2012 - The test results came. My reports were normal. The fetal, mine and my husbands karyotyping were normal. The one thing that stood out was my husbands DFI (DNA Fragmentation Index). It was far from normal. So long my old doctor was only looking at the sperm count and motility. My husbands sperm count and motility were always fine and actually great after the post processing done for the IUI procedure. DFI is a count that measures the percentage of damaged sperm in that great number. It was not within acceptable limits in my husband's case. He was referred to the Urologist. The urologist put my husband on medication to control the DFI and adviced the IUI way to conceive. I told him that I had never once conceived through the IUI and that all my conceptions were natural. He shut me off with some statistics that I dont remember now.
February to April 2012 - These months were plain torture to me. Follicular scans on alternate days, Persinal injections, HCG shots, IUIs, two week wait, a not surprising HPT negative and a big hole in the pocket. It was harassing in every way. I knew IUI had never once worked for me. My problem was not in conceiving. It was in keeping it. I just wished the doctors understood that. I decided to take a break from the IUI cycles in May 2012. But I ensured that my husband was continuing to take his medications to keep his DFI in check.
June 2012 - It was one day while at work, I was doing a presentation to my team. I realized I was unusually breathless and was gasping for air in mid sentence. From my experience, I exactly knew what it meant. My mind started racing as it dawned on me that I had conceived naturally yet again. While I knew I was pregnant even before the HPT turned positive, I did not want to spread the news. I thought this time I will rather go through it alone now that I knew what was in store so well from my previous experiences.
July 2012 - My pregnancy symptoms were in full fledge. Ironically, it had always been even when a miscarriage was imminent. So to me it was all a déjà vu. I could not attach too much hope based on my pregnancy symptoms. The one symptom which I did not develop in all my previous pregnancies was Nausea & Vomiting in Pregnancy (NVP) by the 6 to 8 weeks mark. I had never crossed that mark anyway. This pregnancy was no different. Only the fear that I have not yet developed NVP brought slight traces of it.
With 3 days to go before my 6 week scan appointment, I started spotting. Ohh no, not again! It just seemed too familiar to me. It took me sometime to digest the situation. Into the hands of fate became my slogan for the next days. I did not go to the doctor immediately. I very well knew what was impending, so I thought come what may, why not wait until the scan appointment.
At my 6th week scan, I went in all prepared for D&C the same day. The scan was just a ritual. The doctor asked me my history. I told her my pathetic history thus far. She then asked me who has accompanied me to the hospital. I told her my mom was with me. She stepped out of the room and called out for my mom.
When my mom came in, the doctor pointed to the scan monitor and told my mom to look at her grand child. She quickly added that the baby is doing very well for its gestation and that she could record a healthy heartbeat as well. She made us listen to the unmistakable sound that seemed like horses galloping. A new life! Tears welled up in both our eyes at that moment. We were utterly speechless. We couldnt believe what we just heard. I managed to say, but I started spotting three days back. Maam, are you sure I have not developed any internal bleeding like I did last time? She most reassuringly told me not to worry. She said the spotting I was having was in fact implantation bleeding which is yet another good pregnancy symptom. I was in a trance.
January 2013 - Gave birth to my little miracle through planned C-Section at 38 weeks 1 day. He's a real beauty. His million dollar smile has proved all my fears (that I held so dearly for the 38 long weeks) wrong.
Have hope.
- krsna's mom
This is going to be a long one. In short I wish to explain how I managed to conceive and deliver a healthy baby inspite of PCOS, being 35+, Recurrent Miscarriages, Male Factor, Failed IUIs...you name it.
November 2009 - Got married. Was 33 years then. I had not given too much thought about getting pregnant immediately. I thought it would happen naturally...like the vast majority who get married and have a child soon after. I was wrong.
February 2010 - Three months since my marriage, right about the time when everyone started asking me if there were any good news from my end, my husband foresaw something was wrong with me and so took me to a gyn. She suggested that I take the home pregnancy test the next day. So did I. It was a faint positive. My emotions were mixed. With my irregular periods on account of the existing thyroid problem, the HPT turning positive was a true surprise to me. On the other hand, I had started spotting two days back. Also for over a week my body temperature was very high. I could clearly sense something was wrong. Paid another visit to the gyn. She asked me to wait and see if the spotting continued. Well the spotting only turned worse after I left her clinic. That evening I developed rigor and miscarried at home for the first time. Spontaneous Abortion, so the radiologist told me the next day at the scan appointment.
October 2010 - Life went by. I was treated for hypo thyroid. The same year in October I realized that I had conceived. I was full of the usual pregnancy symptoms. An early scan confirmed the presence of a gestational sac. I was told to repeat scan in two weeks time. Before the end of the two weeks, I started spotting. The scan report said it was a Blighted Ovum. There ended my pregnancy dream.
I was treated for Thyroid and PCOS. The obgyn had me do the follicular scans every cycle. Soon it became a routine. Cycle after cycle we watched the follicles form, mature, ovulate and HPT negative. The doctor suggested that we try IUI for better results. So did we for the next two cycles. I had read that the IUI procedure is just a little uncomfortable. But for me, it was such a painful experience everytime. I dreaded the mere thought of it. Nevertheless I endured it so many times than I ever imagined I would.
August 2011 - I wanted to take a break from the regular IUI cycles. So I did not turn up for the follicular scans that cycle. It so happened that I conceived naturally in that cycle. This was my third natural conception. At the first early pregnancy scan, to my utter surprise, they detected the heart beat. The fetal heart rate was 90+. Bradycardia, so the report said. I was so happy they could detect a heartbeat. But before I left the hospital after the scan, I checked the scan findings with a doctor. I still remember the utterly hopeless expression on her face. She didnt have to say much. But she did say that it was not good and its not going to get better too. I was heartbroken. After I came home, I researched so much on the internet on this condition. There was good hope that at 90+ the heart rate would get better the following days. I held great hope.
The following week after a much awaited wait, I did the followup scan. To prove the other doctor wrong, the fetal heart rate had gone up to 130. Yes! I was 6 weeks then. The radiologist told me that he detected a mild internal bleeding (SCH) and asked me to consult my ob-gyn. The doctor whom I was consulting doubled my progesterone dosage. She said that should take care of the SCH. She also asked me to repeat the scan in 2 weeks. The wait game again.
September 2011 - With 3 days yet to go for my 8th week scan appointment, I started spotting. With a sinking feeling, I met with the radiologist the same day. He did the scan. He told me the internal bleeding had gotten worse. He also said he was sorry he couldnt detect a heart beat. No heart beat? No words can explain the grief that possessed me when he said that. The same evening I knew I was miscarrying. That night I underwent the second D&C at the hospital.
In the weeks that followed, while I was recovering from my third miscarriage, I did not once step out of my home. I did not report to work. I even avoided talking to people. After I had cried enough, I vowed to myself that I will not give up. I vowed to change my situation. Out of the grief, I built a strong determination. I started researching my condition on the net. I was not happy with the doctor who was treating me. I knew I needed special medical attention and care. I set out on the quest for a good doctor. For the next month, I researched so much that at one point it became my obsession. Finally I decided on who my next doctor would be. There was no looking back after that.
December 2011 - In preparation for my first appointment with my new doctor, I had compiled my case history in a chronological order since the time of my wedding. It included every detail which I thought was relevant. At the end of my consultation, the doctor asked me to discontinue a lot of tablets except those for the thyroid and PCOS that I was taking then. She also prescribed specific tests for me and my husband. I was glad that finally it was not me alone who was subjected to all sorts of tests. We were to do karyotyping as well. Fetal karyotyping was already done at my third miscarriage. I was to get back with the test results when they were ready.
January 2012 - The test results came. My reports were normal. The fetal, mine and my husbands karyotyping were normal. The one thing that stood out was my husbands DFI (DNA Fragmentation Index). It was far from normal. So long my old doctor was only looking at the sperm count and motility. My husbands sperm count and motility were always fine and actually great after the post processing done for the IUI procedure. DFI is a count that measures the percentage of damaged sperm in that great number. It was not within acceptable limits in my husband's case. He was referred to the Urologist. The urologist put my husband on medication to control the DFI and adviced the IUI way to conceive. I told him that I had never once conceived through the IUI and that all my conceptions were natural. He shut me off with some statistics that I dont remember now.
February to April 2012 - These months were plain torture to me. Follicular scans on alternate days, Persinal injections, HCG shots, IUIs, two week wait, a not surprising HPT negative and a big hole in the pocket. It was harassing in every way. I knew IUI had never once worked for me. My problem was not in conceiving. It was in keeping it. I just wished the doctors understood that. I decided to take a break from the IUI cycles in May 2012. But I ensured that my husband was continuing to take his medications to keep his DFI in check.
June 2012 - It was one day while at work, I was doing a presentation to my team. I realized I was unusually breathless and was gasping for air in mid sentence. From my experience, I exactly knew what it meant. My mind started racing as it dawned on me that I had conceived naturally yet again. While I knew I was pregnant even before the HPT turned positive, I did not want to spread the news. I thought this time I will rather go through it alone now that I knew what was in store so well from my previous experiences.
July 2012 - My pregnancy symptoms were in full fledge. Ironically, it had always been even when a miscarriage was imminent. So to me it was all a déjà vu. I could not attach too much hope based on my pregnancy symptoms. The one symptom which I did not develop in all my previous pregnancies was Nausea & Vomiting in Pregnancy (NVP) by the 6 to 8 weeks mark. I had never crossed that mark anyway. This pregnancy was no different. Only the fear that I have not yet developed NVP brought slight traces of it.
With 3 days to go before my 6 week scan appointment, I started spotting. Ohh no, not again! It just seemed too familiar to me. It took me sometime to digest the situation. Into the hands of fate became my slogan for the next days. I did not go to the doctor immediately. I very well knew what was impending, so I thought come what may, why not wait until the scan appointment.
At my 6th week scan, I went in all prepared for D&C the same day. The scan was just a ritual. The doctor asked me my history. I told her my pathetic history thus far. She then asked me who has accompanied me to the hospital. I told her my mom was with me. She stepped out of the room and called out for my mom.
When my mom came in, the doctor pointed to the scan monitor and told my mom to look at her grand child. She quickly added that the baby is doing very well for its gestation and that she could record a healthy heartbeat as well. She made us listen to the unmistakable sound that seemed like horses galloping. A new life! Tears welled up in both our eyes at that moment. We were utterly speechless. We couldnt believe what we just heard. I managed to say, but I started spotting three days back. Maam, are you sure I have not developed any internal bleeding like I did last time? She most reassuringly told me not to worry. She said the spotting I was having was in fact implantation bleeding which is yet another good pregnancy symptom. I was in a trance.
January 2013 - Gave birth to my little miracle through planned C-Section at 38 weeks 1 day. He's a real beauty. His million dollar smile has proved all my fears (that I held so dearly for the 38 long weeks) wrong.
Have hope.
- krsna's mom
