Fluxuspoem
Mama
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On Wednesday 21st of October at about 17.00 Greek time and whilst I was watching TV with my mum, I felt 3 pops on my vagina and then a mini flood of warm liquid filled my underwear, and I just knew my waters were gone. For those of you who have been following my journal, my pregnancy has been very difficult and I was on strict bed rest for months now due to contractions, third trimester bleeding and threatened miscarriage etc.
So anyway, my waters gone, and I am only on week 33, so even though I knew this was a possibility, I just couldnt handle the thought of my baby being premature and on special care. Mostly I hated the idea of my baby being taken away from me than anything else.
From then on everythign happened really fast, I tell my mum to bring my hospital bag and the stem cells collection kit in case I give birth that evening, still in desbelief that I will and hoping that this is a false alarm somehow... mum called dad who was at work and told him that my waters are gone and to rush home to drive us to the clinic. Mum calls my gyno ( its his day off) and tells him what happened, and he goes on his way to the clinic.. I start panicking and realising that I may give birth that evening and start sobbing. I put my doppler on to check the babys hb and see if she is in distress, she is not, but I still feel horrible. She doesnt kick much which freaks me out and decide to take the doppler with me to the clinic.
Dad arrives home and he is completely stressed out that I start worrying about him and forget that I may be in possible labour. I tell him off for being so stressed and remind him that I am not in pain ( YET) and that he is the driver and should take it easy we are all fine and the baby is cool too. He relaxes and we drive off.
When we arrive at the clnic they already are expecting me, my doctor called them, and they put me on a room, where they start putting intravenous stuff and belts to check baby's hb and me for contractions. In the meantime, even though I was on tocolytics to avoid contractions, I start having these big period pains that come and go every 5 -7 mins or so. A midwife checks my cervix and confirms that my waters are gone and asks a nurse to prepare me. I ask If I am giving labour tonight and she avoids telling me and asks me to wait for my doctor. They put something on my backside to empty my intestine ( horrid stuff) and I run for the loo despeerate also for a wee, I realise that while I am in the toilet more waters are gone and the flow seems neverending. At this point I am completely sure I will give birth.
My doctor arrives and tells me that he needs to take the baby out tonight as if he tries to postpone labour the risk of infection may be greater to the baby than actually delivering her early. So he gives instructions and I am stormed off to the operating room.
They give me a combined epidural with spinal but they have trouble with the spinal and they try to find the injection spot a millon times, or so it seemed at the time. I was very scared, I kept thinking of my baby and stroking my belly, trying to be calm about it all. Anyway, the whole thing starts they put screens up so I wont be able to see what they do. Ten minutes or so pass and I am anxious and worried if my baby will cry when she is out or will her poor lungs be underdeveloped and she will be rushed to hospital? The doctor that performed the epidural comes around and tells me that in a minute they will get the baby out and to be ready... My hb is so fast I am hooked on monitor and can hear my hb racing.
I feel a lot of tugging and pulling weird sensations and all of a sudden a LOUD baby girl scream! And more and more, she actually doesnt stop! I am delighted! tears run down my eyes, at least she has strong lungs I say to myself and I am smiling. The doctor that spoke to me earlier comes around and congratulates me for a beautiful boy! WHAT? Oh no he ws joking. Not the right time to joke mate, I thought and wanted to punch him, but I shut up and continued crying tears of joy.
Then the most glorious moment in my life. The day I saw her for the first time. The brought her around my face she was cleaned a bit and wrapped with some short of sheet. She was pale with dark hair and beautiful. Her lips were so full and her eyes slowly opened up when I said hello to her. Her little left hand was out of the sheet and I kissed her nose. That moment was the greatest moment of my life. She was born on the 21st of October at 21.21!! My little miracle.
They took her away to check her out, the pediatrician said that she seems very strong but they have to put her on oxygen just in case and will monitor her, the next 5 hours apparently were crucial. Then she was gone, and I left there crying with joy and sadness that I couldnt hold her longer. The operation from then on was awful. Lasted about 40 minutes and I felt a lot of tugging and pulling on the verge of pain, butnot quite and at some point I started shaking and they gave me some more drugs to calmed me down and some oxygen.
When it was all over I was wheeled to my room. My mum told me my baby was beautiful and dad was crying, they already have seen her. My brother had called my husband who was in the UK, stuck at work as this was not expected and he wasnt in Greece with us. Russ, started crying on the phone and it was all very emotional.
My mum went to speak to the pediatrician later that evening and he told her that Christina is doing very well didnt need oxygen but they monitor her and trying to feed her. Mum came to my room, and told me the news. I was suffering big time from the cesarean and the pain was very intense but this was music to my ears and managed to sleep for an hour that night, dreaming about my baby and texting my DH till the morning.
Next morning they brought her to me at 09.30. She was as beautiful as I remembered her and more. Since then my life is her. We stayed in the clinic for 5 days and I took her home! Since then I havent been seperated from her.
The only issue that we have is difficulty with feeding, she chokes a lot and gets put off by the milk when that happens. Its difficult as I worry that she wont be able to eat enough and mayhave to go to hospital, but for now we just have to wake her up every 2 hours feed her as much as she can take and monitor her weight. We tried so many different bottles but I think its just the fact that she is premature hence the problem with sucking and swallowing. Other than that she is thriving, she is extermely smart ( doctors have been commenting on that non stop) and is very energetic. She absolutely adores my voice which seems to be the only thing that soothes her and her tiny pacifier which she embraced completely!
I am currently using a breast pump and give her my milk which is not great amounts but covers her for now, as well as supplemental formula. I dont sleep at nights, I only rest for 2 hours per 24 hours when my mum helps out after work. At night my schedule is extract, feed, extract, feed. But its all worth it.
Here is a photo of me and my beautiful angel Christina Sofia, thank you all so much for the massive support you have given me throughout my pregnancy, I am so blessed to have met you all xx
https://i70.photobucket.com/albums/i83/aleka11/DSCF1411.jpg
https://i70.photobucket.com/albums/i83/aleka11/AlexandChristina.jpg
So anyway, my waters gone, and I am only on week 33, so even though I knew this was a possibility, I just couldnt handle the thought of my baby being premature and on special care. Mostly I hated the idea of my baby being taken away from me than anything else.
From then on everythign happened really fast, I tell my mum to bring my hospital bag and the stem cells collection kit in case I give birth that evening, still in desbelief that I will and hoping that this is a false alarm somehow... mum called dad who was at work and told him that my waters are gone and to rush home to drive us to the clinic. Mum calls my gyno ( its his day off) and tells him what happened, and he goes on his way to the clinic.. I start panicking and realising that I may give birth that evening and start sobbing. I put my doppler on to check the babys hb and see if she is in distress, she is not, but I still feel horrible. She doesnt kick much which freaks me out and decide to take the doppler with me to the clinic.
Dad arrives home and he is completely stressed out that I start worrying about him and forget that I may be in possible labour. I tell him off for being so stressed and remind him that I am not in pain ( YET) and that he is the driver and should take it easy we are all fine and the baby is cool too. He relaxes and we drive off.
When we arrive at the clnic they already are expecting me, my doctor called them, and they put me on a room, where they start putting intravenous stuff and belts to check baby's hb and me for contractions. In the meantime, even though I was on tocolytics to avoid contractions, I start having these big period pains that come and go every 5 -7 mins or so. A midwife checks my cervix and confirms that my waters are gone and asks a nurse to prepare me. I ask If I am giving labour tonight and she avoids telling me and asks me to wait for my doctor. They put something on my backside to empty my intestine ( horrid stuff) and I run for the loo despeerate also for a wee, I realise that while I am in the toilet more waters are gone and the flow seems neverending. At this point I am completely sure I will give birth.
My doctor arrives and tells me that he needs to take the baby out tonight as if he tries to postpone labour the risk of infection may be greater to the baby than actually delivering her early. So he gives instructions and I am stormed off to the operating room.
They give me a combined epidural with spinal but they have trouble with the spinal and they try to find the injection spot a millon times, or so it seemed at the time. I was very scared, I kept thinking of my baby and stroking my belly, trying to be calm about it all. Anyway, the whole thing starts they put screens up so I wont be able to see what they do. Ten minutes or so pass and I am anxious and worried if my baby will cry when she is out or will her poor lungs be underdeveloped and she will be rushed to hospital? The doctor that performed the epidural comes around and tells me that in a minute they will get the baby out and to be ready... My hb is so fast I am hooked on monitor and can hear my hb racing.
I feel a lot of tugging and pulling weird sensations and all of a sudden a LOUD baby girl scream! And more and more, she actually doesnt stop! I am delighted! tears run down my eyes, at least she has strong lungs I say to myself and I am smiling. The doctor that spoke to me earlier comes around and congratulates me for a beautiful boy! WHAT? Oh no he ws joking. Not the right time to joke mate, I thought and wanted to punch him, but I shut up and continued crying tears of joy.
Then the most glorious moment in my life. The day I saw her for the first time. The brought her around my face she was cleaned a bit and wrapped with some short of sheet. She was pale with dark hair and beautiful. Her lips were so full and her eyes slowly opened up when I said hello to her. Her little left hand was out of the sheet and I kissed her nose. That moment was the greatest moment of my life. She was born on the 21st of October at 21.21!! My little miracle.
They took her away to check her out, the pediatrician said that she seems very strong but they have to put her on oxygen just in case and will monitor her, the next 5 hours apparently were crucial. Then she was gone, and I left there crying with joy and sadness that I couldnt hold her longer. The operation from then on was awful. Lasted about 40 minutes and I felt a lot of tugging and pulling on the verge of pain, butnot quite and at some point I started shaking and they gave me some more drugs to calmed me down and some oxygen.
When it was all over I was wheeled to my room. My mum told me my baby was beautiful and dad was crying, they already have seen her. My brother had called my husband who was in the UK, stuck at work as this was not expected and he wasnt in Greece with us. Russ, started crying on the phone and it was all very emotional.
My mum went to speak to the pediatrician later that evening and he told her that Christina is doing very well didnt need oxygen but they monitor her and trying to feed her. Mum came to my room, and told me the news. I was suffering big time from the cesarean and the pain was very intense but this was music to my ears and managed to sleep for an hour that night, dreaming about my baby and texting my DH till the morning.
Next morning they brought her to me at 09.30. She was as beautiful as I remembered her and more. Since then my life is her. We stayed in the clinic for 5 days and I took her home! Since then I havent been seperated from her.
The only issue that we have is difficulty with feeding, she chokes a lot and gets put off by the milk when that happens. Its difficult as I worry that she wont be able to eat enough and mayhave to go to hospital, but for now we just have to wake her up every 2 hours feed her as much as she can take and monitor her weight. We tried so many different bottles but I think its just the fact that she is premature hence the problem with sucking and swallowing. Other than that she is thriving, she is extermely smart ( doctors have been commenting on that non stop) and is very energetic. She absolutely adores my voice which seems to be the only thing that soothes her and her tiny pacifier which she embraced completely!
I am currently using a breast pump and give her my milk which is not great amounts but covers her for now, as well as supplemental formula. I dont sleep at nights, I only rest for 2 hours per 24 hours when my mum helps out after work. At night my schedule is extract, feed, extract, feed. But its all worth it.
Here is a photo of me and my beautiful angel Christina Sofia, thank you all so much for the massive support you have given me throughout my pregnancy, I am so blessed to have met you all xx
https://i70.photobucket.com/albums/i83/aleka11/DSCF1411.jpg
https://i70.photobucket.com/albums/i83/aleka11/AlexandChristina.jpg
x
Congrats again, you brave thing! I knew that the both of you would be just fine, am immensely proud of little Christina for doing so amazingly!
