The father is adimant on abortion

[purpledahlia]

hello, For those of you who dont know whats happened with me so far i fell pregnant after a fling, id been meeting him and sleeping with him and i thought he was a decent guy, i thought i might have a future with him! Turns out, he had a gf the whole time and was cheating on her!
Theres other things too but they dont really matter, Anyways now he is determined to make me have an abortion!
I am not the type of person who could go thru with an abortion, it doesnt matter who the father is i think id even be like this if i didnt know who the father was!!!!! (but i do - i didnt sleep around - just making a point)
My view on abortion is that i couldnt put my body thru it, i think who the hell am i not to give this baby a chance? i have enough love to give this child.
My parents are slowly coming around, my mum saiys she understands why i wouldnt want to go thru an abortion she just didnt think id ever be in this situation - fair enough, neither did i. But i am nearly 23 and i feel like taking responsibility is darrying on and dealing with it and having this baby,I want to be excited but everyone is holding me back. He is definately adimant, at the point of being a complete W*nker, and he deleted me off facebook etc but of course he '' does still care for me and this situation''
I just feel like i only have support if i have an abortion and no support if i keep it. I DEFINATELY cannot go through with an abortion, i already feel like this little baby growing needs me, it has a heartbeat!
Did anyone else go thru a similar situation? I dont know what he will say when he realises im not going to have an abortion, i dont know if he will help or be involved at all. I am prepared to do it myself.
Just needed to rant and see if anyone else got thru something like this with the babys father,
x

 

[babystar]

 

[dreams]

My ex well he's a complete idiot, i've gone through this pregnancy on my own. Just don't let him or anyone push you into doing something you don't want to do

 

[AppleBlossom]

My ex is an idiot but for different reasons lol

I say, fuck him. Fuck everyone. All your baby needs is love and support from it's mummy. I don't doubt for a second you wouldn't provide that. Men are wankers. Everyone else will hopefully come round in time. If not, who needs them?

 

[xarlenex]

I personally, would give him maybe another month at a push, if his attitude still stinks towards you an his unborn child then i'd just cut him out completely.

 

[cupcake]

you sound like you know exactly what you want, and thats to keep the baby, why even factor the ex into your decision, it sounds like you parents will support you and be there for you, and this guy doesnt seem like he is going to stick around at all, so I dont think he gets much say in this. Good luck with everything, there are lots of single moms and here who are doing amazingly!

 

[edinsam]

aw hun I know EXACTLY what you are going through EXACTLY!

My ex and I lived in bliss for the last 2 years, seriously it was the best relationship I have ever had, we both said that we had finally found the loves of our lives. Fastforward to January when I fell pregnant and he was like terminate or I am leaving. I tried to reason with him etc etc especially since this is my last chance as I have other gynae issues that ultimately mean that I will prob never have more children after this. He went on a downer for months and then eventually last month said sorry I am out of here you wont terminate so I am going back to my ex wife. And he went - hes been back about 5 weeks. Now I work beside this guy and see him every day and all he keeps on saying is "oh so you are still going through with THIS thing" - I mean common!

So eventually what I have realised now is that no man who can stake a claim of being with you only based on killing their child is the lowest of the low. Why the hell would we ever want to be involved with such a low life.

With that in mind it makes me more determined to show him how us girls do have girl power and do have the ability to be on our own.

Don't waste anymore time on him hun - hes a waste of space. Move on, wipe him out and if he comes around later then he comes around but you need to move on for yourself

Feel free to PM me anytime - I know exactly what you are going through and would be happy to chat.

Take care

Keep strong - you will be a fab mommy! Worse things in life can happen to us than being a single mom

Sam
xx

 

[MummyMummy]

why are you bothered about what he wants/thinks/feels? he was a 'fling'. it is YOUR body. it's YOU who has to have the emotional AND physical repocutions (SP?) on yourbody and mind. in justa couple of weeks your parents are 'coming around' you have another 30+ weeks for them to feel excited and the more preg you get the more excited they will get.

go with what you want and trust your instincts. atthe end of the day what kind of morals/life experience/intelligence has he got if he's that stupid/immature to get somebody else pregnant whilstcheating?!

many many girlies are single mothers and do a fantastic job, why would you be any different?

xXx

 

[kirst1805]

I know how you feel, my ex kept mentioning an abortion just after i found out i was pregnant but stopped talking about it when he realised i wasn't paying any attention

Anyway, he now seems to have disappeared and good riddance..

You'll be a fantastic mum and if he doesn't want to be involved its his loss.
You'll have plenty of support from friends and family when the baby arrives i'm sure.



X

 

[Csunshine013]

That is a huge decision that you have already made! You can raise a baby on your own. I left my oh before I found out I was pg with DD and have raised her all on my own until I met my DH 4yrs ago. You are strong woman and can do what ever you set your mind to. I know I don't know you, but to stand up for yourself and the baby you have to be strong!

 

[purpledahlia]

yes your all right, i guess i just needed to be reminded that i dont have to listen to him, his abusive messages and emails were beginning to wear me down. He is having a great time blaming me for how this happened, but it takes two to tango an at least i am facing it and taking responsibility not like him who is just rtying to make it go away. He wont have to live with the guilt because he will be ok and he will still have his gf.
He has also told me that he is denying the whole thing to his family and friends, that im lying etc, it bothers me, but not to a huge extent because i dont know them. But i guess he also wants it to 'go away' because then he doesnt have to re-explain himself to everyone he has just openly lied too! but i told him lying will make it worse and the truth will come out, and he chose not to listen and do what he wanted. So its his problem he will have to sort it out. I just started to get that, feeling sick thing and not wanting to eat and it makes me feel so much more pregnant. Im going away this weekend with my mum so hopefully she will be ok and then i wil know.
( he wanted to see a doc together so he can tell me the risks of abortion are ZERO which is complete shit, and so i made one, first available one is in a week, hes even using that againt me, saying i did it a week in advance so i can turn round and say 'its too late for the pill' ... eh.. wtf? i told him to ring and see when the next avail appt was! by time he calls will prob be the friday!! Hes just doing everything he can to make it my fault and blaming me, He is jyst not facing the fact that he was half the problem and he contributed just as much if not more because he led me to believe he was single, and he came back for more!!!
Anyways, i feel a bit better, hehe thanks for all your replies, xxx

 

[soliloquise]

hello, For those of you who dont know whats happened with me so far i fell pregnant after a fling, id been meeting him and sleeping with him and i thought he was a decent guy, i thought i might have a future with him! Turns out, he had a gf the whole time and was cheating on her!
Theres other things too but they dont really matter, Anyways now he is determined to make me have an abortion!
I am not the type of person who could go thru with an abortion, it doesnt matter who the father is i think id even be like this if i didnt know who the father was!!!!! (but i do - i didnt sleep around - just making a point)
My view on abortion is that i couldnt put my body thru it, i think who the hell am i not to give this baby a chance? i have enough love to give this child.
My parents are slowly coming around, my mum saiys she understands why i wouldnt want to go thru an abortion she just didnt think id ever be in this situation - fair enough, neither did i. But i am nearly 23 and i feel like taking responsibility is darrying on and dealing with it and having this baby,I want to be excited but everyone is holding me back. He is definately adimant, at the point of being a complete W*nker, and he deleted me off facebook etc but of course he '' does still care for me and this situation''
I just feel like i only have support if i have an abortion and no support if i keep it. I DEFINATELY cannot go through with an abortion, i already feel like this little baby growing needs me, it has a heartbeat!
Did anyone else go thru a similar situation? I dont know what he will say when he realises im not going to have an abortion, i dont know if he will help or be involved at all. I am prepared to do it myself.
Just needed to rant and see if anyone else got thru something like this with the babys father,
x

i admire you. your baby your body.. screw everyone else. don't listen to anyone who will not support you in what you want. or anyone elses agendas. you will be a great mum... and you will cope even if you have no support x

 

[purpledahlia]

Hello ladies!!
Time for an update!
I spent the weekend with my mum and she is fine now, shes goign to support me because ''i have the right attitude, im not expecting a brand new flat with brand new furniture etc'' I still cant move home, and live there, but they will help me find a flat, and they are int he process of moving house, so she said instead of selling the furniture - i can have it!! so i have coffe tables sofa fridge desk shelves etc already!! : i just need to find a flat that accepts housing benefitsfor rent and organise to move in october!
Things are lookign a bit better now! Scary about telling ym VERY old fashioned gran's and my boss... but it cant be worse than my parents right!
p.s - F*uck the father - he can go to hell, he took nor esponsibility at the time,despite the fact he had a gf!!!! so he cannot tell me what to do, he can walk away he doesnt have to live with it!!

maybe i should start a journal??
haha

 

[laura3103]

I also know what your going through and believe me he is not worth your time or energy.

JUst get on with what you want to do and be happy you will have support from your family and thats all you need not some prat that will maybe come round and disrupt your babys life in the future when he keeps going in and out LO life.

My sister is experiencing this at mo and it makes me glad that my baby will never know her daddy ( his choice not mine ).

 

[CrystalBell]

Hi Darling really sorry that your going through this. Just want you to know that this baby will be the best thing that has ever happened to you, honestly he/she will make you into a better person....a mummy. Don't listen to this guy ...he won't always be there for you and your little boy/girl will.

Be strong it will be so worth it.
xxx

 

[Mummy&bump]

yep hun been there and still there! its about time that mean realised if they dont want responsabilty of a child then they should keep it in there pants! i went thru my whole pregnancy alone after a being engaged and living 2gether for 2yrs and trying for a baby! ul get by on ur own! all the ladies on here are great and help u thru! trust me the minute u have that baby it all feels alot easier!

xxx

 

[FEDup1981]

id be making his GF aware - why should he go back to his cosy life, and you want CSA payments too!!

That'll teach the tos*er!

 

[purpledahlia]

Im going to email him now, or maybe tomorrow morning. and say that theres no point now in tring to convince me, so he has to decide if hes going to be involved and tell his family. im not being a big dirty secret. My parents are adimant that his name does not go on the birth certificate so he has no rights to the child. if hes not gonna be involved from now and tell his family ( and i may unblock his gf on msn once i have a pic of a bump - to proove i was not lying ) if he chooses not too, he wil have to deal with it. deal with knowing he has a chld he knows nothing about. And i will claim from CSA if eh isnt willing to help. All i want from him right now is hif familys medical history!!! ahaha

my mum also informed me theres a high chance of me getting her car now as she wants a new one.. bonus!! its looking much better!

 

[Blob]

Hey hun since we've spoken already wont blab again, but you'll be able to be exited when you come back up to Scotland and we can go shoooppppiiiinnngg