The "I'm at the end of my rope" thread

[LilRu]

I think I'm at a breaking point. DH and I were ntnp for a yr but my cycles were irregular from bc and I highly doubt I was ovulating. My cycles have been pretty regular now and this is our 3rd cycle ttc. I finally got a + opk for this cycle and my temp was low this morning. I told DH and he suggested we dtd which I was planning anyway. We tried but he said he has nothing left. We dtd yesterday and every other day b4 that for a week now. Just yesterday we had an argument over why it's not happening and he said I should gets meds to increase our chances. I tried to explain that's not how it works and my body is working perfectly fine. It's the fact that for some reason he can't perform when it's the right time. After tonight I have so much resentment. Idk what to do or say to him. Idk if I even want to continue putting myself through this month after month if he can't get out of his own head. He says he's so sick of ttc but wants a baby now. Has anyone ever gone through this? Any advice?

Every other day is all you need. A lot of men have trouble dtd more than that. I have had similar experiences with my DH, when put on the spot, he doesn't perform! Seriously we've been together 5 years and never had a problem. The first time it happened was when I told him I got a + opk, and we HAD to dtd!!! That isn't sexy and it is not appealing to a man, remember you are dealing with a MAN! He probably really enjoys making love to you and that pleasure is taken away when there is pressure and frustration involved. Well, after months of thinking he had the problem, and we weren't doing it at the EXACT right time, turns out it was me. I went on clomid for 4 months bc my dr. thought I was healthy but maybe bc my DH is 15 yrs older than me he had some slow sperm. He has a daughter so we weren't concerned about him being infertile. Nothing happened! My DH did get tested and is good. finally I had a laparoscopy, HSG, and Hysteroscopy to remove a polyp in my uterus. Very tiny polyp. I had no idea it was there! Point is, before you blame him or go on ANY drugs, get some test done to figure out the problem. 1 yr of ntnp is enough time, My advice... have an HSG test done, to take a look at the uterus and tubes. They say it is also a good way to flush the tubes out helping conception too. Look into it. Good luck. BTW, May is the 1st cycle we get to ttc since having the polyp removed and d&C. And I definitely will not be telling my DH when I ovulate. Even though he's super supportive through everything, I think he still gets performance anxiety.

 

[Smille24]

I think I'm at a breaking point. DH and I were ntnp for a yr but my cycles were irregular from bc and I highly doubt I was ovulating. My cycles have been pretty regular now and this is our 3rd cycle ttc. I finally got a + opk for this cycle and my temp was low this morning. I told DH and he suggested we dtd which I was planning anyway. We tried but he said he has nothing left. We dtd yesterday and every other day b4 that for a week now. Just yesterday we had an argument over why it's not happening and he said I should gets meds to increase our chances. I tried to explain that's not how it works and my body is working perfectly fine. It's the fact that for some reason he can't perform when it's the right time. After tonight I have so much resentment. Idk what to do or say to him. Idk if I even want to continue putting myself through this month after month if he can't get out of his own head. He says he's so sick of ttc but wants a baby now. Has anyone ever gone through this? Any advice?

Every other day is all you need. A lot of men have trouble dtd more than that. I have had similar experiences with my DH, when put on the spot, he doesn't perform! Seriously we've been together 5 years and never had a problem. The first time it happened was when I told him I got a + opk, and we HAD to dtd!!! That isn't sexy and it is not appealing to a man, remember you are dealing with a MAN! He probably really enjoys making love to you and that pleasure is taken away when there is pressure and frustration involved. Well, after months of thinking he had the problem, and we weren't doing it at the EXACT right time, turns out it was me. I went on clomid for 4 months bc my dr. thought I was healthy but maybe bc my DH is 15 yrs older than me he had some slow sperm. He has a daughter so we weren't concerned about him being infertile. Nothing happened! My DH did get tested and is good. finally I had a laparoscopy, HSG, and Hysteroscopy to remove a polyp in my uterus. Very tiny polyp. I had no idea it was there! Point is, before you blame him or go on ANY drugs, get some test done to figure out the problem. 1 yr of ntnp is enough time, My advice... have an HSG test done, to take a look at the uterus and tubes. They say it is also a good way to flush the tubes out helping conception too. Look into it. Good luck. BTW, May is the 1st cycle we get to ttc since having the polyp removed and d&C. And I definitely will not be telling my DH when I ovulate. Even though he's super supportive through everything, I think he still gets performance anxiety.

I have patience, he doesn't....typical guy. I've had bloodwork done and my levels are normal. I have a child from a previous relationship so I think if it doesn't work out in a few more months he should have an SA done. If his is fine then I will get an hsg. His analysis is quick and painless so it's the best place to start. Thanks for your advice. We already discussed next cycle and I promised not to demand sex so much. We're now on the same page which is amazing. Fx'd there won't be a next cycle.

 

[LilRu]

Baby dust to you!!!! My DH made me pick up the cup and deliver his sample when we did his SA. He was resistant to going and embarrassed to drop of the sample! They sound quite similar. Maybe it's a guy ego thing. Look up foods that are good for him, and sneak them in, like foods high in zinc are good for sperm!
Good luck and fx this is your cycle

 

[Bee Bee]

So many of us can relate to how you feel, thanks for letting us vent. Even though we are in different situations, I think the emotional rollercoaster remains the same. I really cannot offer any advice for you, except I was on clomid for 4 months, nothing. I think it can really affect the lining for some women, making implantation more difficult so you definitely should take a break after 6. Good luck girl!! And don't give up!

I am on progesterone also during the TWW to help with that hopefully!