the odds of an incorrect gender scan?

[MommyFirefly]

DH and I went to visit his family yesterday. They live about an hour away, so we don't see them very often. I was super excited because I knew they had gotten a lot of clothes and things for our little one. But... it was all boy stuff. I'm not the sort of person who likes to put genders on items, but there was no getting around that almost everything they got was for a boy.

Why?

Because they are convinced that the scan was wrong. They take to referring to my LO as 'he' and they say things like 'if HE turns out to be a girl, we picked up some girly bits'. It's all because I thought I was carrying a boy earlier in the pregnancy and then silly things like the way my belly's shaped or the parts of me that are gaining weight. I just want to have his family on board for my sweet girl! Of course, I'm anxious now. DH tells me to just ignore that they said anything, but I can't. I'm obsessing over it. So what are the odds of an incorrect scan? And what are some things that I can say to his family without being rude?

 

[emeeorevan]

O.M.Goodness! I really don't know the odds of the scam being wrong. In my experience if the scan is read too early or incorrectly the baby is usually mistaken for a boy and turns out to be a girl. I haven't heard anything from my personal experience or close friends or family where it was the other way around. I guess its always possible but by 18 weeks most scans are correct now days.
I know how you feel about the gender issue though. My own mom refuses to call my lo anything but "she" we may find out the gender tomorrow if baby cooperates, but DH and I are convinced it will be DS#3. At least my mom has refrained from buying anything gender specific until the Ultrasound. I am so sorry that they are being that way! Can you take the clothes back and exchange them for girly or at least gender friendly stuff?

 

[kmac87]

How rude! Honestly, the scans and are right a lot more than they are wrong. Unfortunately, the older generations feel they are 100% right when it comes someone else's pregnancy. Sorry you're going through tis. I can kind of relate as my mil refuses to accept my ds who is nearly 3! She will get my dss and buy him everything, but won't do anything for my ds. Has nothing to do with gender, she just doesn't like me, so she doesn't like my children either. I hope your dh's family starting embracing the idea of a little girl. Hugs.

 

[sandandsun]

That is honestly very strange and rude. I'm getting my gender scan this week and I've been told they're pretty darn accurate. I would be offended if my parents or in-laws refused to "believe" the scan. They'll probably be proven wrong when you go for your 18-20 week scan anyway. I'm really sorry you're dealing with this. My dad keeps joking that I don't need to go to my gender scan because he knows it's a boy, so now I'm kind of hoping it's a girl to prove him wrong. But I know he's just saying it in good fun.

I know it's frustrating, but I would tell them that you're confident in the scan and just wait it out. You can ignore them until your 20-week scan, and then they will look like the foolish ones!

 

[ButterflyX]

An early gender ultrasound (around 13-14 weeks) for my cousin said boy. But later, it was revealed that baby was a girl.

 

[MommyFirefly]

Thank you everyone! I wasn't sure if I was overreacting or if it was really as strange as it felt. I waited until my 20 week scan to find out because I wanted them to be as sure as possible. I've honestly never heard of them being wrong past that date!

I felt so awkward correcting them every time they called her a boy lol I tried to do it gently so I wouldn't be offensive, but I think I did it TOO gently. They weren't really taking me seriously.

I'm glad to hear that they aren't wrong often. I just hope they start accepting her soon. Oh! And I meant to add in that even though we know we're having a girl and we KNOW we are naming her Shiloh, they say 'Clint' (family name) a lot. So I guess even if we were having a boy, they would expect that to be the name lol

 

[OhMJH]

As others have said, it's usually boy which turns out to be girl error, which happened to me. 14 week scan said boy, confirmed girl at 20 weeks with a 4D scan. I really wouldn't worry too much - it's far easier to pop a girl in boyish things than vis versa and I'm sure they'll feel pretty silly when she's born!

 

[MommyFirefly]

That's what I'm thinking too. I really do like what they got so I don't want to exchange the more unisex things. And I am thankful that they've gotten so much for her! I know she's loved even if they think she's a little boy lol I guess it's just the principle of it all. I'll try not to dwell on it too much

 

[Pink Sarah]

A person at work, their daughter was told a boy and it turned out it was a girl - cue mad dash to get girly items! That was about 3 yrs ago. Thats the only time I've ever heard of it and the baby was born still in water sack. Pretty special!
Let's hope you can exchange bits x

 

[Luvspnk31]

With DS #2 they said he was a girl at 18wks, but I had another scan at 32 and we found out he was a boy! I think I must have known on some level because I didn't buy anything. All my other ones have been right though. I think at 20wks, the probability of being wrong is pretty low, but I don't know numbers.

 

[Luvspnk31]

Found this. Might give u some reassurance.

https://www.baby2see.com/gender/study_ultrasound.html

 

[MommyFirefly]

So informative!!

Thank you so much! I feel heaps better.

 

[emmi26]

I had a private gender scan at 16 weeks 4 days she is most definatley a girl very clear 3 lines the sonographer we had has 30 years nhs experience was lovely and confirmed it 3 times for me lol she said any sonographer with experience should easily be able to tell gender it's actually incredibly rare to get it wrong and usually stems from scanning before 16 weeks or if baby is a little bit slower in developing the genitals so if you are told a definate gender then your baby is what they say 99 percent of the time.


Emma

 

[jw1555]

My inlaws have done exactly the same! We told them excitedly that we were expecting a little girl....and they didn't even bother to hide their disgust! Infact they even said 'let's hope they are wrong and it turns out to be a boy' Ever since then they constantly refer to my baby girl as 'he' and when I try and show them clothes they make remarks such as 'oh well I don't know why you brought those clothes when it will be a boy' it has really upset me that they won't acknowledge our little girl and that they act like she isn't good enough for them!

 

[Luvspnk31]

People can be so weird. I don't get it.n

 

[londonangel]

As far as I'm aware, it is more common to be told you're having a girl and then it turns out to be a boy than the other way round - this is why I was told when I had Eleanor that the sonographer was '80% sure' that she was a girl - they wouldn't tell me in that hospital at any rate for certain that she was a girl. It tends to be more certain if it's a boy but it will depend on when they did the scan I guess. Mine was at 20 weeks when it is generally reasonably accurate. If yours was earlier I guess the risk of it being wrong is greater but I wouldn't have thought there was that big a risk - I think they're being a bit silly assuming your scan is wrong!

 

[MyLittleFish]

Scans are usually quite accurate bit they will never say it is a ... 100% as they is always a risk that they haven't got a completely clear picture or baby is in bad position.
If they get it wrong at 20weeks its usually due to position of baby and most common error is being told girl and in fact baby is a boy. At 20weeks if they see boy parts its blatantly a boy whereas sometimes when told girl its actually a boy in bad position to see his bits! Xx

 

[MommyFirefly]

My inlaws have done exactly the same! We told them excitedly that we were expecting a little girl....and they didn't even bother to hide their disgust! Infact they even said 'let's hope they are wrong and it turns out to be a boy' Ever since then they constantly refer to my baby girl as 'he' and when I try and show them clothes they make remarks such as 'oh well I don't know why you brought those clothes when it will be a boy' it has really upset me that they won't acknowledge our little girl and that they act like she isn't good enough for them!

That's really how it's been with me too! We told them five minutes after we found out and their initial reaction was to tell my husband how sorry they were that he wasn't having a boy. And then that slowly morphed into being convinced that there's no way she could be a girl. I think I'm going to stop showing them clothes because they're never excited to see them. They've really turned their noses up at the flowers and lace in the nursery lol

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They didn't hint towards the sex at all until 20 weeks, so that's when I found out. Her leg was up and behind her head so I would think that the sonographer would have a very clear view. I hope that's a good enough position. She SEEMED fairly certain so that's why I just took her word on it lol Hopefully nothing changes, but I can't be crazy for going with my scan and not necessarily their speculation.

 

[lukegomez]

..........

 

[jw1555]

My inlaws have done exactly the same! We told them excitedly that we were expecting a little girl....and they didn't even bother to hide their disgust! Infact they even said 'let's hope they are wrong and it turns out to be a boy' Ever since then they constantly refer to my baby girl as 'he' and when I try and show them clothes they make remarks such as 'oh well I don't know why you brought those clothes when it will be a boy' it has really upset me that they won't acknowledge our little girl and that they act like she isn't good enough for them!

That's really how it's been with me too! We told them five minutes after we found out and their initial reaction was to tell my husband how sorry they were that he wasn't having a boy. And then that slowly morphed into being convinced that there's no way she could be a girl. I think I'm going to stop showing them clothes because they're never excited to see them. They've really turned their noses up at the flowers and lace in the nursery lol

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They didn't hint towards the sex at all until 20 weeks, so that's when I found out. Her leg was up and behind her head so I would think that the sonographer would have a very clear view. I hope that's a good enough position. She SEEMED fairly certain so that's why I just took her word on it lol Hopefully nothing changes, but I can't be crazy for going with my scan and not necessarily their speculation.

Sounds like we have very similar in laws! Sorry to hear that your inlaws have been the same with you, although reassuring to know there's someone out there experiencing the same! It's just so weird..people really are very strange! I can never imagine acting the same way! I've given up showing them the clothes now. We did buy a pram yesterday and they were pleased we hadn't gone pink as apparently 'that would be silly as it's clearly a boy' oh dear you have to laugh otherwise you would cry!