The words 2how are you"

[borntobeamum]

I think everything is just getting to me today.

what do you say when someone says "how are you" (which I have heard about 50 times in the last week)

what I really want to say is, rubbish, cr*p, empty inside, want to cry 24/7, want my baby, etc etc.

But what I say is "getting there, or, ok thanks, or fine fine surviving....."

NO IM NOT OK, what do you want me to say, just dandy thanks very much.......

 

[babytots]

i'm the same hun if people ask how i am i say yeah i'm ok getting there each day gets easier when infact each day gets harder and i'm not ok. but then i dont like breaking down in front of people so just put a front on.

got the reverand who did jessicas service coming round later to see how we are and he'll ask that same question. x

 

[gnomette]

i used to just shurg and make a silly noise!! that way no one asked anymore questions and i didnt have to say yeh bearing up! sorry for both your losses!!
love an hugs xx

 

[borntobeamum]

I think thats the thing Babytots im the same I dont want to break down in front of people, I dont mind if its a close friend, and most of them will know not to really say anything.

I think that is why after Gillian was gone I wanted people to know sooner rather than later, so that if I did bump into anyone I didnt have to explaine either.

I hope things go ok with the reverand today. That will be hard, I hope you dont mind me asking, but was it recently Jessica got her wings.....

 

[AlwaysPraying]

I'm getting that a ton too. I say very honestly, "terrible, thank you for asking". I think in my head, "how do you THINK I'm doing? If you want to ask, I'll let you know". It's snotty I know, but it's all I can muster. I kind of laugh it off so I don't cry. But I think people just want to know that we're doing good so they don't have to have the burden of knowing how terrible it really is.

 

[Chilli]

My Dh drove me mad asking me that or "are you ok" - of course I'm bloody not you fool. I was honest most of the time except at work where things need to be more professional. YOu'll feel a bit better soon though hun, really! Sorry for your horrible and sad experience

 

[hayley x]

I get this question ALL the time!! its like the worlds most silliest question but I think people just want to show they care and they are thinking of you!! Depending on what mood Im in I either say yeh im 'fine' or tell em how Im really feeling then they dont ask again cause they feel awkward and dont like the answer!! Im so sorry for your loss xxx

 

[susan_1981]

I got the hump because my MIL didn't even ask me that after my MC. When people asked me, I'd just say similar to you, like "better than I was" or "not bad". There are only certain people that I'd want to talk about my miscarriage to so anyone else who asks me gets that answer. But everyone that I did want to talk to about it didn't need to ask me how I was because they knew xxx

 

[borntobeamum]

I think thats the things Susan I am the same, people who know me, know how I am.

I think as well people who have kids know what it would be like to loose one, people who dont, or are not maternal, or MEN... just dont get it.

 

[roadrunner]

A very difficult question to asnwer for sure.....

Many hugs to you...