Thinking about becoming a surrogate...

[hans2009]

I have been thinking about becoming a surrogate for a deserving family (no one in mind, would just go through an agency)..

First question - Would I even qualify? It took my husband and I 4 years to conceive. We never saw a doctor about it (our appointment ended up turning into a confirmation appointment!!) but I'm pretty sure my body was the problem. I've never had a regular cycle. Also, I had gestational diabetes with my son, does this matter?

Second question - My husband isn't totally on board. He doesn't think I could do it emotionally. I have tried to find stories of women who thought they could do it but regretted it. I can't find any. I think I could handle it but I am concerned that when time comes to deliver I wouldn't want to give the baby up. I do know I couldn't do traditional surrogacy, but gestational-it's not my egg. I'm trying to think of it as babysitting for 9 months! I just worry I won't feel that way in the hospital!

If anyone had any input-even if unrelated to my questions, please let me know!! I am just starting to look into it!

 

[Topanga053]

Hi! It seems like we have a lot in common! Our kids are around the same age (my LO was born 2/4/14) and we've been married about the same amount of time!

I'm also considering the idea of being a gestational surrogate, although LO is so young and we're not sure whether we want another one or not (that's a whole other debate!), so I'm not rushing to make a final decision anytime soon. It's just in the back of my mind. If I still want to do it in awhile, then we probably will. DH is totally on board (we had a MC and TTCAL for 8 months, so he knows how heartbreaking this journey can be). He knows that I love being pregnant and thinks its great I want to help someone else. I'm a little worried about getting too attached like you said, but all the stories I've read say that women don't! They seem to be able to accept that they're just "babysitting"!

I'm also worried I wouldn't qualify, since I got mild pre-e at the end of my pregnancy and had to be put on quasi-bed rest at 37 weeks and induced at 39 weeks. But I hope that wouldn't disqualify me since there's no guarantee it would happen again!!

Anyway, it's so great to find someone in such a similar position! I don't know anyone else who has been a surrogate or is even remotely considering it. I would love to keep in touch!!

 

[hans2009]

I totally understand-my husband and I definitely want more and we will wait until we're done growing our family before I do become a surrogate. My husband wasn't on board until I said "we would have wanted someone to do it for us" His face totally changed and he became more on board. He is concerned still about me emotionally but I don't think we'll ever know how I'll be until it happens!

I was reading stories-trying to find stories about anything! and many women were saying during their surrogacy they delivered early or had complications and continued to be a surrogate for other families so I don't know if previous pregnancy issues are what they used to be!

I would definitely love to stay in touch!! It'll be nice to have someone to talk to throughout the journey!

 

[hoping:)]

Hi My name is Amber and I am a gestational surrogate. I had a patchy fertility past as well. It took us 2 years to concieve our daughter and I had a few losses along the way. Typically they do not allow any losses but at most no more than 2. It really depends on the agency so you won't know until you start researching agencies and start applying. My fertility issues were treatable... I have MTHF (blood clotting disorder) so I need to be on baby aspirin and folic acid.

I would definitely recommend waiting until you are done with your own family. that is usually what agencies prefer. Plus on the off chance something went wrong during the surrogacy and it impacted your fertility it would be devastating to your family planning. I would also make sure that you know you would be able to give back the baby at the time of delivery. It could be very traumatic if you had 2nd thoughts.

I started my surrogacy journey in Sept of 2012. I was matched with a wonderful couple in May of 2013 and transferred 2 embryos in Sept of 2013. It resulted in the pregnancy of a little girl but sadly we lost her at 22 weeks due to a rare syndrome. I don't regret ever doing it (and infact I am getting ready to transfer for the same couple in August) but surrogacy does place a large toll on your body both physically and mentally. The meds were tough (about 16 weeks of injectable and oral) but losing that little girl was the hardest thing I have ever gone through. Surrogacy is beautiful and such a wonderful way to give back. I love my journey even with all of the ups and downs. The intended parents and my family have become extremely close and more like friends than anything. My advice is to research and read as many surrogacy blogs as you can get your hands on! Good luck! I hope it works out for both of you