Thinking of pumping more - thoughts?

[marmoset]

Looking for input if anyone has been in a similar situation or can think of an angle I'm missing here.

My LO is 6 weeks old and breastfed, but takes an occasional bottle of expressed milk from DH when I have a gig/rehearsal/client meeting.

I'm thinking of switching to pumping and bottle feeding primarily. I'm finding breastfeeding stressful for a few reasons, one is I have a very forceful letdown that causes LO to sputter and choke almost every time. I'm sure it's a letdown issue because he'll choke and pop off and I'll be literally spraying all over his face, sometimes more than 1 stream and it just goes on and on while I scramble to get a towel in the way and clean him up. (Of course I'm very grateful to have this problem rather than a low supply issue). Still it's just a lot of mess and stress for both of us. We're also out and about a lot and it makes nursing in public a bit rough - I'm not shy about people seeing me latching him on or him feeding, but the pop off and spray routine is another matter.

So that's one issue, the other is that LO is too big and heavy for me to manage comfortably (he's outgrowing 3 month clothes despite only being 6 weeks old), but isn't at a point yet where he can help me out by e.g. holding his own head up. So I struggle to hold him comfortably and am developing wrist pain, which worries me because I'm a professional violinist. (I do have all kinds of pillows etc for support but it's still tough getting him situated, and again out of the house it's extra hard).

So, long story short if the two main reasons to breastfeed are health benefits of breastmilk and bonding... I'd still be feeding expressed milk and honestly I feel more bonded just holding him when he's not feeding, I think bottle feeding would feel more relaxed for both of us. He loves getting his bottle from DH. We're extremely hands on in general, don't own a bucket seat or a stroller, carry him in a wrap everywhere we go and hold him constantly at home.

Also in terms of the convenience factor, pumping is really quick and easy for me due to the same forceful letdown thing - with a one handed manual pump I can get a 4oz bottle in about 10 mins. So not all that much of a hassle.

I don't know, I guess I'm wondering if I'm missing something in terms of repercussions of this idea.

Would love thoughts/input!

 

[noon_child]

For me, exclusive expressing would be the worst of both worlds - constant stressing about whether I'm pumping too much or too little, washing and sterilising, warming milk, having to find time to pump while also having to hold baby so much of the time etc. However if it feels like it would work for you and you don't have those worries then other people's issues are just that, other people's.

I would however say that I don't think health benefits and bonding are the only benefits. For me "comfort" was a huge aspect of breastfeeding but I don't think that comes in to full focus till babies are a bit older, but any type of shock or surprise, any pain or distress can be comforted away with breastfeeding. Of course there are other methods of comfort, but bf is just so quick and easy. It's so nice when you have a mobile baby/toddler who never wants to sit still or be cuddled, when they come back to you for a feed and you get to reconnect with them

Also I would think about how long you might be able to sustain exclusive pumping. Would you be happy doing it for as long as you might plan to breastfeed, a year, two years? I know so many people who only planned to bf for a few months but once it got a bit easier they just wanted to keep going and going. The advantages to your health (reduction in cancers etc) get bigger the longer you breastfeed (I have no idea if there is any research on whether pumping provides the same protection).

Also you are in the midst of the hardest stage and it seems like it will never end and never change. It does, it will. Your baby is entering a phase of development where he will be better at holding his own head up so that will improve. The wrist pain us agonising isn't it? I had a tiny baby but still had this pain - but remember your body is still recovering from pregnancy and these aches and pains (especially in parts of us we are using repeatedly) are a normal part of that. It goes away without lasting damage. Your milk supply is still not regulated so the issues to do with fast letdown will be worse at this stage.

I do understand your reasons for considering the change but maybe you are just putting a bit to much pressure on yourself - it is still such early days. Maybe out and about is going to be tough for a while (and I can see that being very demoralising) but maybe at home you could try some feeding positions that will reduce strain on your wrist and help LO cope with fast flow, like laid back breastfeeding. Sometimes it can be tricky to start with but I found the help of LLL really useful in finding ways to get it to work for my body and my baby.

You asked for an alternative perspective so that's what I've tried to give. At the end of the day though, you need to do what works for you.

 

[marmoset]

Noon_child thank you so much, I didn't realize how much I needed to hear all of that.

It's so easy to lose sight of how fast this early stage is going to go by.

I really appreciate your taking the time to write all that out, it's changed my thinking and given me a different perspective to focus on, about how someday soon this phase of wanting to be held and cuddled every minute is going to turn into wanting to be independent and explore.

Thanks again

 

[BellaRosa8302]

Love noonchild's response! I would have written most of the same.

A few things to add - I know you said you have pillows, but have you looked at the "brest friend" pillow? It actually hooks behind your back so you don't have to constantly straighten it, etc. I think it's been very helpful (personally).

Also, you said you babywear a lot. That's great!!! Have you ever tried to feed in that? I'm not too familiar with wrapping, because I'm more of a quick up and down kinda person. I am just now able to breastfeed in my ring sling, and it is VERY easy to breastfeed my son in my Pikkolo (SS buckle carrier).

Personally, I hate pumping. I would give it up completely if I could, but I'm a teacher and I have to pump for my son to eat. Breastfeeding in public is easier with the double shirt trick (Have you tried undercover mama shirts? LOVE THEM! They cover your belly, and you pull your shirt up to feed).

You might also want to consider finding a breastfeeding support group near you. I just went to mine last night and was reminded how much I love to share the struggles of breastfeeding and parenting with other moms going through the same thing. It's great in a forum like this, but it's also pretty amazing to do it in person.

Just a few thoughts. Hugs mama, you got this!

 

[RaquelDee]

I completely agree with everything the previous posters have said. I pumped every day for six months when I went back to work, and was delighted when bub dropped the last of her day feeds at around a year old as I didn't have to do it anymore.

It's not just the time spent pumping, it's also all the extra work of cleaning and washing pump parts, bottles, etc, as well as the constant worry over whether there was enough milk. Like you I could pump an enormous amount very quickly in the early days. This did not last! Additionally, any time I got sick (often with a baby in daycare) my supply dropped and I could barely pump a thing. I found it stressful and annoying.

In comparison, once breastfeeding was established and comfortable, I found it really easy. The first six weeks are definitely the hardest and I think most of the issues you are having should resolve in the next few weeks or months. In the meantime, if you are struggling with feeding on the go, why not just pump to be able to give bottles when you are out? There's no need to switch to exclusive pumping just to cover one or two feeds a day.

 

[marmoset]

Thank you Bella and Raquel for the helpful suggestions, I will think about all of them!

 

[jessmke]

I don't have much to add except I can totally relate the the fast let down. I have sprayed several people while out in public in the early weeks of breastfeeding, I drenched one poor lady's coat who was sitting next to me at the passport office, we were all packed in like sardines and baby needed to eat! It was embarrassing but I have gotten over it and my supply has regulated and I no longer gush like a fire house when my milk lets down.

Also I was able to pump loads of milk no problem using my manual pump in the first few months, but when my supply regulated and my let down eased up I could barely get anything with a manual pump, I haven't used it since my LO was about 4 months old because it is now useless. If you are going to go down the route of exclusively pumping I think you would need to get an expensive electric pump, especially if you are hoping to offer breastmilk long term (1+ years).

Have you tried feeding your LO while side lying? You lay on your side with boob out and he lays facing you on his side, that way you don't have to hold him. I know at 6 weeks old my LO wouldn't feed this way and it wasn't until she was about 4 months that she got the hang of nursing while laying down, but it's worth a try with your guy if he is so big.

 

[BellaRosa8302]

After re-reading, I've thought of one more thing to add - In regard to health - your breasts do this amazing thing where somehow they take in your baby's saliva and formulate your milk to give them EXACTLY what they need - right down to the correct antibodies to fight off that cold baby has, etc. While pumping is great (and much better than formula for baby) you won't have that property of breastfeeding if you're exclusively pumping.

And, @JessMike - @ spraying a stranger with your milk! How mortifying! I think I would have just died! to you for that!!! Are you able to look back on it and laugh now, at least??