This has gone on too long...

[stpierrecog]

I just want to vent and be angry. I keep reading about my symptoms and I read people who just can't handle it to try for a 3rd month or 6th month. I have been ttc since 2006. I finally got pregnant in December 2011 and miscarried in February 2012. I am just so angry that people are getting down after 3 or 5 or even 8 months. I have been going through this tww for over 80 cycles. I think I am the one who can't take it anymore. I am beginning to think those who told me I didn't deserve a child were right. Why else would I be still going through this. I feel like I can't take anymore, I am a very very strong person and all I get dealt is hard hands. I have one good thing in my life my husband. Other than that never has any good things come my way. I just wish for once something wonderful would happen instead of pain and misery. I am fed up.

 

[zanDark]

oh sweetie I'm so so so sorry for your loss!! after all these years TTC

I can't stand people bitching about TTC for 3-4 months either...and I haven't been TTC as long as you have! It's understandable that hearing crap like that drives you up the wall

we all need to vent and be angry at everything and everyone!! and this is the perfect place to do it!

 

[Armywife84]

3-6 months is such a struggle!

I'm sorry to hear of your miscarriage. You feel like you got what you wanted, can't understand why it was taken away, and now you're back to where you started. It's unfair when any woman miscarries..for a LTTCer it's even worse.

If it's something you would be open to, maybe a break is in order? I've taken a month off here and there just to regain a bit of sanity (what little I have left).

 

[BearsMummy]

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss.

I can't stand people who whinge and complain after 'struggling' TTC for 6 cycles. They have no idea!

And NO ONE should ever have said to you that you don't deserve children. That is one of the most horrible things I have ever heard.

 

[hopingforit]

I'm so sorry for you

My DH and I have not been trying nearly as long as you (20 months - 22+ cycles) so I don't know completely how you feel. I hope you aren't offended by me saying that I also get frustrated when I see women who have been TTC for 3-6 months and who complain about how hard it is. I try to remember that we were once in their shoes and although I never complained about it because let's be honest, that is a very insignificant amount of time (just as I'm sure you think my 20 months is insignificant, rightly so) I still remember how when I first started trying, I thought it would happen right away and it was a sad thing when it didn't. I tend to think that a lot of those women will be fortunate enough to get pregnant and never have to go through what you are going through and that is a good thing. For people who have never experienced infertility (either by knowing someone or going through it themselves) it is hard for them to be sympathetic of others who have been TTC longer than them. That is why this LTTTC board is so wonderful. I can relate to the people on here more than I can the people who say "not pregnant after 3 months...starting to get down" I'm glad that most of those women will never have to go through infertility but as someone who is going through it, I am more aware of what I say around others than those who haven't tried as long.

And whoever told you that you don't deserve a child are not right. For as long as you have been TTC, you definitely deserve a child. There are those out there who do drugs and drink and don't even want a child but get pregnant. Someone who says that someone else doesn't deserve a child needs to look at people like that and think, this loving person here doesn't deserve a child but someone like that does? Their logic is flawed. You do deserve a child.

Sending lots of to you! It will happen for you eventually. Don't ever think that you don't "deserve" a child. You do!

 

[uwa_amanda]

That is exactly why I stopped going to the TTC boards as much. I got frustrated too at the ladies that were ready to throw in the towel after two months of trying. It also tees me off when I hear of someone who has been told they don't deserve a child. That is by far one of the cruelest statements to make to someone. You deserve a baby just like the rest of us LTTTCers do.

Rant over...

 

[Madgirl]

Im sorry, I understand.

 

[roothy]

Oh hun - you vent away all you need to. We have been trying since 2008 - I am over 40 and only have one ovary so was always going to be an uphill struggle - but I understand where you are coming from. People who moan about not being pregnant straight away and people who then moan about being pregnant or being mums. Like you I did get pregnant once but had mc - the most devastating thing I have ever been through.
You deserve to be a mum just as every other mum does - dont listen or believe the awful things people have said.
As has been said - maybe have a break. I am having a break at present as just feel I have lost my way at the moment.
Sending you hugs

 

[theclarks8687]

I got pregnant in Feb and miscarried in April after 5 yrs of trying. Trust me when i say life can be very cruel at times. I was also good by my mother that I should never have children because ill pass in my birth-mothers genes. I questioned everything from myself to whether God truly existed. I just have to have faith that there is a reason behind the pain because honestly I think miscarrying after trying for so long was worst then never being pregnant. That pain is indescribable