icantdecide
Waiting for the smile
- Joined
- Oct 21, 2010
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This time last month I was sitting in a hospital bed with nurses coming in and out trying to take blood.
I was waiting to have a laparoscopy and a salpingectomy and a D&C.
I just cant believe its been a month. AF arrived yesterday and that would have been the same day the previous month that my baby gave up on me.
It just seems so strange that once again im bleeding but for a totally different reason.
Im not sure I can handle trying again anytime soon now. At first all I wanted was to get pregnant again. In my mind if I got pregnant again okay my due date would be 6 or so weeks later but it meant I was only not pregnant for 2 weeks. In some twisted way I was happy with that.
I know I want a baby more than anything but I dont think I can handle trying. I go from I must get pregnant right now at any cost. To no no im scared I cant deal with it.
Does this make sense?
I should be 10 weeks and a day today. But im actually on CD2.
Oh how things can change.
I was waiting to have a laparoscopy and a salpingectomy and a D&C.
I just cant believe its been a month. AF arrived yesterday and that would have been the same day the previous month that my baby gave up on me.
It just seems so strange that once again im bleeding but for a totally different reason.
Im not sure I can handle trying again anytime soon now. At first all I wanted was to get pregnant again. In my mind if I got pregnant again okay my due date would be 6 or so weeks later but it meant I was only not pregnant for 2 weeks. In some twisted way I was happy with that.
I know I want a baby more than anything but I dont think I can handle trying. I go from I must get pregnant right now at any cost. To no no im scared I cant deal with it.
Does this make sense?
I should be 10 weeks and a day today. But im actually on CD2.
Oh how things can change.
