Those that tandem nurse

[misspriss]

How do you cut back the older child while nursing the younger one on demand still? DS is 3, DD just turned 1. DS asks for milk a lot. After he turned 3, in March, I cut him back to 3x a day, morning, once after lunch, and bedtime. After a few weeks of this, I changed it to 1x in the morning and 1x at bedtime, not during the night, not during the day. This works for me, but not for him. I thought he would adjust, but he has not. It's been almost 2 months, and he still asks for milk constantly during the day and wakes at night for it. I feel bad telling him no, I do intend to nurse him for a while longer, but it is manageable for me to do it only a little bit. I also quit having constant clogged ducts when I cut him back. His afternoon nurse was inconstant, sometimes he stayed at grandma's, sometimes we were out, etc and he wouldn't nurse, and other times he would nurse A LOT, and the difference would cause issues for me. I would happily just switch to bedtime only, but I have too much milk in the AM and would risk clogged ducts again.

Will he get used to this eventually? I thought if I help my ground and just reminded him he gets it at bedtime and in the morning, he would quit asking. He hasn't. I don't want to "cave" to his requests, but I thought it would lessen eventually. I offer him snacks and water when he asks, in case he is hungry. I make sure he is fed and not thirsty. Does seem to help.

He is sitting next to me now, just asked for milk. I said "You can have milk at bedtime, are you thirsty? I can get you some water" and he replies "No, I'm thirsty for milk!".... So cute and so hard to resist, but still...

Any advice?

 

[DaisyDreamer]

Is there a way to nurse them together during the day, perhaps in the afternoon or evening sometimes with the baby? Would that affect your supply too much?

As for the clogged ducts would breast compressions/massage with DD when she is solo feeding/when you express or pump work? Could you pump for DS?

 

[misspriss]

Is there a way to nurse them together during the day, perhaps in the afternoon or evening sometimes with the baby? Would that affect your supply too much?

As for the clogged ducts would breast compressions/massage with DD when she is solo feeding/when you express or pump work? Could you pump for DS?

It would cause my supply to go up too much to nurse him during the day for more than a few minutes, I tend towards oversupply. IF I do nurse him during the day, it makes DD "jealous" and she HAS to nurse with him, but she doesn't really she pops on and off and wants to play with him. This is one of the reasons I had to quit, because DS is quite the polite little nurser, but DD is in the difficult phase of being distracted.

DS does not drink expressed milk (or cow milk at this time). I tried.

I have had so many clogged ducts I have a routine, I can usually find the plug in my nipple and remove it, then I have to drain the clogged and painful duct into the sink.

I have drained one until the pressure died down, nursed DS (back when I nursed him during the day) with his powerful toddler suckle and big stomach to fill, and STILL been able to squeeze a powerful flow of milk from that duct. It's hard to explain, when you remove the clog you can press the sore area of your breast to drain THAT duct, and it will come out full force with a little pressure, enough to shoot across the room kind of force (since it's been clogged and building up). Once the force dies down to normal kind of flow, I figure it's been resolved. That usually works. If not, I take ibuprofen and lecithin, use ice after nursing and heat before, and use breast compression and massage while nursing.

 

[DaisyDreamer]

Oh yeah clogged ducts are awful I was able to feed LO twice trying to clear one out he was not happy about the flow either

See that is a tricky situation I'm not sure, is it possible to try to give him some other form of comfort instead (I'm sure you do) when he asks? It's possible that he keeps asking to nurse so often because he sees DD do it so much and is therefore reminded more often about it. I guess time will tell, he's not throwing fits over it is he?

 

[misspriss]

Oh yeah clogged ducts are awful I was able to feed LO twice trying to clear one out he was not happy about the flow either

See that is a tricky situation I'm not sure, is it possible to try to give him some other form of comfort instead (I'm sure you do) when he asks? It's possible that he keeps asking to nurse so often because he sees DD do it so much and is therefore reminded more often about it. I guess time will tell, he's not throwing fits over it is he?

He is not asking for milk because he needs comfort, he is smiling and being quite silly about it, which is why I ask him if he needs a drink or snack and then tell him not until bedtime. He is being silly, trust me. I mean he really wants it, but it is not because he needs comfort. I think it's more attention seeking behavior than anything else.

If he is really hurt or sad we do cuddles, but not milk.

No, it's not really fits, just annoying whiney begging. I think he does it for attention but I thought by now the novelty would have worn off. I know he loves milk though and still wants it, I just can't handle it.

 

[DaisyDreamer]

Ah, so I guess your answer is the worst one of all: Time! eventually he will stop asking

 

[misspriss]

Ah, so I guess your answer is the worst one of all: Time! eventually he will stop asking

Yep, as I feared. Being a SAHM, it is harder. If he went to nursery or something it might go by faster, thanks for your reply!