Thoughts on 'cuddling it out'?

[Sazaroo]

Hi ladies,

I'm really struggling... My DD is 5 months old and at night she needs to be fed to sleep. She wakes every 1.5-2 hours during the night to feed. During the day she feeds every 4 hours so I know she doesn't need to feed so much at night. We co sleep so it's not a major problem BUT she just seems to want to suckle on me allll night (I'm breastfeeding). When she wakes during the night she immediately want to suckle and will not fall asleep otherwise.
Now she is older and stronger I am getting 'love bites'... Where the blood is all sucked to the surface of the skin and getting awful bruises, I'm literally black and blue on my boobs with blotches of red broken capillaries!!
Last night i was so sore I left my bra on so she couldn't feed herself to sleep but she screamed and screamed. I tried giving her a dummy, rocking, shhhhing, patting, singing etc but she just cried. My and my husband laid with her for over an hour with her crying her heart out before I finally gave in and let her suckle to sleep.
I can't go on like this and don't believe in crying it out generally but what about cuddling it out? She was so upset last night it broke my heart
She barely ever cries as I'm so 'on top' of all her needs but know something needs to change.
Xxxx

 

[Sazaroo]

Bump

 

[lisaf]

what about a dummy for night use?

 

[Sazaroo]

what about a dummy for night use?

I've tried a dummy, she isn't interested. I've bought every make there is
Thank u for ur reply tho xx

 

[patch2006uk]

It's hard isn't it? My LO is very similar, except we don't cosleep. I wish I had some advice, but I just wanted to let you know you're not alone!

 

[Sazaroo]

It's hard isn't it? My LO is very similar, except we don't cosleep. I wish I had some advice, but I just wanted to let you know you're not alone!

Thank u, sorry ur in the same boat but it does help to know I'm not alone xx

 

[lozzy21]

I think (some one correct me if im wrong) that because your still there the negative affect of crying isent as much as if LO were left to cry IYGWIM?

 

[Coleey]

I've had the same problems with my son, he never liked dummies either and loves to use me as a pacifier during the night. I knew at this point he wasn't waking up to feed, so I stopped letting him have it (unless he was really sick or upset from teething). He protested for a few minutes then drifted off after being cuddled. I prefer this way than letting him cry it out in his own room xx

 

[patch2006uk]

If it was a few minutes of protest, I wouldn't mind so much, but Isaac works himself up something rotten. He won't calm by patting or shushing (although he may have hearing problems, so that's not a massive surprise), or by singing. He won't always calm for cuddles either. If you let him get too worked up, he won't latch on either. Then you're in a real mess!

We had a few weeks where we thought we'd cracked it, but he's just as bad now as ever! He will learn to sleep eventually, it's just whether I can keep my sanity in the meantime

 

[Gen79]

If it was a few minutes of protest, I wouldn't mind so much, but Isaac works himself up something rotten. He won't calm by patting or shushing (although he may have hearing problems, so that's not a massive surprise), or by singing. He won't always calm for cuddles either. If you let him get too worked up, he won't latch on either. Then you're in a real mess!

We had a few weeks where we thought we'd cracked it, but he's just as bad now as ever! He will learn to sleep eventually, it's just whether I can keep my sanity in the meantime

^^^This is me too!

OP, its not as bad, though I've stopped any attempt at it before because I feel bad that she's probably so confused about why I won't help her. But if it works for you then go for it! Some people report success with DH's doing night duty for a few (or more) nights since LO's can smell our milk.

 

[MajorBee]

Does you LO need to suckle to sleep in the daytime? If not, is there anything you can try from her daytime nap routine that might help LO sleep at night? Or if LO does suckle to sleep during the day then try to remove that first and you may find they can better self settle at night. Best of luck.

 

[lisaf]

does she like your finger? I would also suggest not letting her nurse herself to sleep if you can. What I mean is, dont' assume she needs it, but give her a chance to self-settle. I know you are probably already doing this, but I catch myself doing stuff out of habit and then give my LO a chance to do it on his own and he surprises me a lot of the time by not 'needing' what I thought he did. And I'm referring to the daytime or last nurse before bed... obviously you're trying other methods for the middle-of-the-night crying etc and its not working.

I thought I had tried every dummy out there, but my babysitter found one I hadn't tried and he loved it .. it was the MAM ones he liked, I thought their nipple shape was the same as others but it wasn't .. they need to sell pacifiers by nipple shape, not just the pretty designs on the back, lol.
Soothie also worked for a lot of people when other brands didn't.
Not trying to second guess you, just that I'd given up too soon on my search thinking I had tried them all!