Hi Ladies! First, I wanted to say that for those that have lost their baby, I am truly sorry. We all know how horrible it is to hear that someone has had one, yet never really know how horrible it is until it happens to us. It is great to have a place like this to reach out to others!
My story, which is long, goes like this:
The day that my fiance, went to have The Talk with my dad, we found out we were pregnant a few hours later (we were currently TTC). My family was overjoyed with the news. I work for my family, and my dad spread the news quickly. When I went for my first prenatal check up on a Monday, I was 6 weeks. Everything looked good with the baby, but the doctor found a 'mass' attached to my uterus. This in itself was stressful as my grandmother has gone through treatments 5 times for ovarian cancer, and hearing 'mass' is scary. I started to emotionally distance myself from the pregnancy as I was scared of the worst case scenario. They had me come back in on Thursday (6w4d) for a better look at the mass. It turned out to be a large pedunculated fibroid (attached to the uterus with a stem) and measured 4 inches in diameter. The doctor was not concerned and just said that she would monitor me and have me do an ultrasound every 4 weeks. I had experienced cramping and she said it was probably implantation cramping, that it is normal.
I spend the next four weeks focusing on the pregnancy. I had some cramps, especially bad ones when I sneezed but figured it was the fibroid. I never had any bleeding and my boobs got huge...which my fiance was not complaining about, lol.
When I went back for my next appointment, August 7th, I had the ultrasound first. The tech quickly looked at my uterus and then went for the fibroid. My fiance, must have noticed something was off, because he kept asking about the baby. My fibroid had grown to 5" diameter. She went back to look at the baby, and kept asking me questions like, "you haven't had any bleeding". We had heard and seen the baby's heartbeat at the 6w4d ultrasound, and I realized that I wasnt seeing that. I point blank asked her 'I lost the baby didn't I?". She said yes and that she was so sorry. They put us in an exam room instead of back in the waiting room (which I am so thankful for) and the doctor came in to dicuss what we can do for a missed miscarriage. Options were D&C and she would remove the fibroid at the same time or chemical and wait to see if the fibroid shrinks over a few months and then remove it.
I have spent my entire life studying martial arts and Chinese medicine, so I was very opposed to surgery if I could avoid it. I went home with Cytotec, nausea pills and pain pills and was told that if I started hemorrhaging to call them or go to the ER. Instructions for the cytotec were 1st dose 2 orally, 2 vaginally, 2nd dose 4 orally. I had major cramps with dose 1, but they stopped before dose 2. Took dose 2 and nothing, not even spotting. I called the Doctor the next day and she had me do 1 more round and said I couldn't take any more after that. Same instructions. Took Dose 1 and nothing but dose 2 I had cramps. Shortly after that, I was laid up on the couch with a hot water bottle, watching Beach Party (needed something cheerful on) when I felt, for lack of a better explanation, the blurp. I was prepared from reading everyone's post what to expect and had a huge overnight pad on. I just made it to the bathroom when the pad overfilled and blood was everywhere. (Side Note: I saw so many people talk about using pads, but I quickly realized the logistics of it were not great....how are you supposed to get down pj bottoms, panties, and a pad filled beyond capacity, without blood going everywhere?). The bleeding lasted for an hour and I realized fairly quickly the best thing to do was strip down and get in the shower.
I would notice that when the bleeding eased up it was because I had a large clot blocking it....some of which had to manually be released. There was no tapering off to the bleeding. It just stopped. By this point I had passed several large clots, one of which the size of 2 hands. I was exhausted and went to bed. Friday, I had zero energy, no appetite and wanted to do nothing but lay in bed. My nephew's birthday party was Saturday and I wasn't able to go. I went back for an ultrasound on Monday 8/12 and was told that everything was still there! (How is that even possible with some of the clots I passed?!?)
So now I am forced to go with option 2: D&C and myomectomy (fibroid removal). The soonest she could do the surgery is 8/27, but I would rather do one surgery and knock out both at one time, so 8/27 it is. I have been having light spotting, mainly brown in color and only enough for a panty liner since the ultrasound on 8/12. This past weekend I started cramping and without even thinking anything of it, picked up and carried around my 2 year old nephew. Within hours I started bleeding lightly (like a light period). I went back to work this week and the bleeding has been heavier each day, so I called my doctor, because I don't know what I need to watch for. I've already been running a low grade fever (99). She wanted me to try a 3rd round of cytotec. I had to turn that down....all the mental prep that has be done for that, I am not up for! Basically, all they told me is that if it gets bad call them or go to the ER.
One of the main questions that I have is does it get easier, mentally, to move on after the miscarriage is complete? It has not exactly been easy the past week and a half walking around knowing that the body of my baby is still there.
Also, what have y'all done in memory of your loss? My parents have decided to plant an evergreen tree on their property once it cools down enough. I collect crosses and have them displayed on a large wall. My fiance and I have decided to find a new cross together and put it on the wall for our baby. I also was thinking that this Christmas I am going to make the tree a Family Tree and paint ornaments with both mine and his family members names and include one for the baby, with the name Angel (a unisex name since we lost the baby too early to tell).
From my experience, I have a few recommendation for anyone who goes through this at home...
1. The shower is easiest and if you face the drain, you can tell when the bleeding has eased up. If you don't want to see the blood, just face away from the drain and stand towards the back of the shower.
2. Put an old sheet or towel around the toilet to minimize clean up.
3. Keep bleach cleaner and a roll of paper towels close by.
4. You are going to go through extremes: hot flashes and chills. Wear a shirt that you can unbutton and keep another towel handy for the chills.
5. Buy different types of pads...you may not always need the biggest.
6. Keep Orange Juice or Gatorade close by.
7. Rest as much as possible when you can.
8. Have someone home with you....just in case
9. Don't shut people out. Tell people close to you about what is going on.
My story, which is long, goes like this:
The day that my fiance, went to have The Talk with my dad, we found out we were pregnant a few hours later (we were currently TTC). My family was overjoyed with the news. I work for my family, and my dad spread the news quickly. When I went for my first prenatal check up on a Monday, I was 6 weeks. Everything looked good with the baby, but the doctor found a 'mass' attached to my uterus. This in itself was stressful as my grandmother has gone through treatments 5 times for ovarian cancer, and hearing 'mass' is scary. I started to emotionally distance myself from the pregnancy as I was scared of the worst case scenario. They had me come back in on Thursday (6w4d) for a better look at the mass. It turned out to be a large pedunculated fibroid (attached to the uterus with a stem) and measured 4 inches in diameter. The doctor was not concerned and just said that she would monitor me and have me do an ultrasound every 4 weeks. I had experienced cramping and she said it was probably implantation cramping, that it is normal.
I spend the next four weeks focusing on the pregnancy. I had some cramps, especially bad ones when I sneezed but figured it was the fibroid. I never had any bleeding and my boobs got huge...which my fiance was not complaining about, lol.
When I went back for my next appointment, August 7th, I had the ultrasound first. The tech quickly looked at my uterus and then went for the fibroid. My fiance, must have noticed something was off, because he kept asking about the baby. My fibroid had grown to 5" diameter. She went back to look at the baby, and kept asking me questions like, "you haven't had any bleeding". We had heard and seen the baby's heartbeat at the 6w4d ultrasound, and I realized that I wasnt seeing that. I point blank asked her 'I lost the baby didn't I?". She said yes and that she was so sorry. They put us in an exam room instead of back in the waiting room (which I am so thankful for) and the doctor came in to dicuss what we can do for a missed miscarriage. Options were D&C and she would remove the fibroid at the same time or chemical and wait to see if the fibroid shrinks over a few months and then remove it.
I have spent my entire life studying martial arts and Chinese medicine, so I was very opposed to surgery if I could avoid it. I went home with Cytotec, nausea pills and pain pills and was told that if I started hemorrhaging to call them or go to the ER. Instructions for the cytotec were 1st dose 2 orally, 2 vaginally, 2nd dose 4 orally. I had major cramps with dose 1, but they stopped before dose 2. Took dose 2 and nothing, not even spotting. I called the Doctor the next day and she had me do 1 more round and said I couldn't take any more after that. Same instructions. Took Dose 1 and nothing but dose 2 I had cramps. Shortly after that, I was laid up on the couch with a hot water bottle, watching Beach Party (needed something cheerful on) when I felt, for lack of a better explanation, the blurp. I was prepared from reading everyone's post what to expect and had a huge overnight pad on. I just made it to the bathroom when the pad overfilled and blood was everywhere. (Side Note: I saw so many people talk about using pads, but I quickly realized the logistics of it were not great....how are you supposed to get down pj bottoms, panties, and a pad filled beyond capacity, without blood going everywhere?). The bleeding lasted for an hour and I realized fairly quickly the best thing to do was strip down and get in the shower.
I would notice that when the bleeding eased up it was because I had a large clot blocking it....some of which had to manually be released. There was no tapering off to the bleeding. It just stopped. By this point I had passed several large clots, one of which the size of 2 hands. I was exhausted and went to bed. Friday, I had zero energy, no appetite and wanted to do nothing but lay in bed. My nephew's birthday party was Saturday and I wasn't able to go. I went back for an ultrasound on Monday 8/12 and was told that everything was still there! (How is that even possible with some of the clots I passed?!?)
So now I am forced to go with option 2: D&C and myomectomy (fibroid removal). The soonest she could do the surgery is 8/27, but I would rather do one surgery and knock out both at one time, so 8/27 it is. I have been having light spotting, mainly brown in color and only enough for a panty liner since the ultrasound on 8/12. This past weekend I started cramping and without even thinking anything of it, picked up and carried around my 2 year old nephew. Within hours I started bleeding lightly (like a light period). I went back to work this week and the bleeding has been heavier each day, so I called my doctor, because I don't know what I need to watch for. I've already been running a low grade fever (99). She wanted me to try a 3rd round of cytotec. I had to turn that down....all the mental prep that has be done for that, I am not up for! Basically, all they told me is that if it gets bad call them or go to the ER.
One of the main questions that I have is does it get easier, mentally, to move on after the miscarriage is complete? It has not exactly been easy the past week and a half walking around knowing that the body of my baby is still there.
Also, what have y'all done in memory of your loss? My parents have decided to plant an evergreen tree on their property once it cools down enough. I collect crosses and have them displayed on a large wall. My fiance and I have decided to find a new cross together and put it on the wall for our baby. I also was thinking that this Christmas I am going to make the tree a Family Tree and paint ornaments with both mine and his family members names and include one for the baby, with the name Angel (a unisex name since we lost the baby too early to tell).
From my experience, I have a few recommendation for anyone who goes through this at home...
1. The shower is easiest and if you face the drain, you can tell when the bleeding has eased up. If you don't want to see the blood, just face away from the drain and stand towards the back of the shower.
2. Put an old sheet or towel around the toilet to minimize clean up.
3. Keep bleach cleaner and a roll of paper towels close by.
4. You are going to go through extremes: hot flashes and chills. Wear a shirt that you can unbutton and keep another towel handy for the chills.
5. Buy different types of pads...you may not always need the biggest.
6. Keep Orange Juice or Gatorade close by.
7. Rest as much as possible when you can.
8. Have someone home with you....just in case
9. Don't shut people out. Tell people close to you about what is going on.
I also took two doses of Misoprostel for a MMC last year. 
