Time to 'fess up!

[jillypoop]

Hi guys

Thanks soo much for your comments! Doesn't make me feel like as much of a freak anymore!

Me and OH talk about it, we are really good in the fact that we can talk about anything very easily. So much so that he informs me every time he farts/poops which is just lovely as you can imagine!

He isn't a virgin but he's not particularly experienced, slept with his previous gf to me just the once.

I've been thinking about it quite a bit recently and I think a major issue is because I have been treated really badly by boys in the past, I was bullied from pretty much as soon as I started school until I left and only really by boys so I have a really negative image of men in my head and although I know OH isn't like that I can't help but think about all the bad experiences!

I really need to just stop thinking about it but I can't! Grrr!

Thanks for your advice everyone
xxx

 

[sleepinbeauty]

Oh, I forgot to share my first-time story.

Imagine having sex with a big dead fish.

..yeah...it was kind of like that. lol


I do hope yours is better though!

 

[claire_love]

I Admire You Both For Waiting! Im Still With My OH. We Were Eachothers First's. I Felt Closer To My OH Once It Happened. You Will Know When The Time Is Right. Good Luck.

X

 

[mandaa1220]

I also think that it's great that you have waited and truly shows the strength in you and your OH's relationship. He must be such a great guy, not pressuring you or anything - waiting til you're ready.

My first time was when I was 17 and was with my OH (who I'm still with). We had been together for 4 months at the time and I was the one pressuring him ... All of my friends had done it ages before and I wanted to as well. I don't regret my decision though... We had (kind of) tried a few times before, but my OH was really nervous, probably since I put so much pressure on him, and we just couldn't seem to get everything to work properly for long enough.

The day we finally did it, was his 18th birthday and he said that he had been planning to do it that night. It was very quick and we rushed it to make sure that we could get everything to work (get it in while it was still hard sorry TMI). Afterwards he was so proud hahaha... Everyones first times will be different, but yours will be particularly special because you waited I think.

 

[mandaa1220]

OH will kill me if he reads it

 

[wanna-b-mummy]

Wow, I think that's amazing and you should be so proud with your decision. If I were you, I would carry on waiting until you feel you really really really want to and feel comfortable doing it, don't do it for any other reason but for yourself. I do agree with the ladies, when you do start having sex, it will strengthen your relationship, especially now you've been together a while and he's been so understanding about it.

I lost my virginity at 19 and I had been with my OH for about 6 months. I told him I wanted to wait, and he didn't mind. All my friends were losing their virginity on first dates and down alley ways, lol.
I too built it up to the point of being absolutely terrified to the point where we'd almost do it, and I'd chicken out cos it was SO built up in my head. When we finally did it, I realised I was terrified for no reason, and felt so much closer to my OH. I had boyfriends before him, but I am so so so glad I waited. We were each other's first times.

A lot of my friends described it as uncomfortable and awkward but it was usually because they had one night stands with men they barely knew. When you're so comfortable with someone, like you are with your OH, it's so special. I even remember me and my OH both laughing our heads off during, lol.

I think it's lovely and sensible that you've waited!

 

[wanna-b-mummy]

Oh, I forgot to share my first-time story.

Imagine having sex with a big dead fish.

..yeah...it was kind of like that. lol


I do hope yours is better though!

Lmao, that is just hilarious. I once kissed a boy who had a tongue like a wet scallop and he just used to let it lay in my mouth. EW.

 

[sleepinbeauty]

Oh, I forgot to share my first-time story.

Imagine having sex with a big dead fish.

..yeah...it was kind of like that. lol


I do hope yours is better though!

Lmao, that is just hilarious. I once kissed a boy who had a tongue like a wet scallop and he just used to let it lay in my mouth. EW.

 

[shocker]

I think its great you waited, you should be proud of it! I used to be so embaressed that i was still a virgin and i was often tempted to just give in and sleep with whoever in toilet cubicles or at festivals like my friends did! I ended up waiting til i was 18 and I remember that whole building it up in your mind thing it seems like such a huge thing and then its done and your like oh ok lol why did i stress so much! My first time was brilliant, I remember nothing about him other than he loved the grateful dead (lol im weird) It was so romantic and impressive we listened to the doors and smoked it was like something out of those movies about 80s rock stars or something which i loved ever since though, ive realised what everyone was talking about when they said sex could be crap lol i shouldve held on to him!

 

[KrisKitten]

Just wanted to say kudos to you for waiting hun
Dont be ashamed! When the time comes itll be ok dw..

and lol shocker
when you said 'grateful dead' i honestly read it as 'grateful deed'
as in some term for sex id not hear of

"wht did u do last night?"
"i did the grateful deed "
i read it over like 5 times b4 i realised
sorry lol, that tickled me xxxx

 

[Ley]

Ohh hun I know how you feel. I lost my virginity at 17 but I am now married to him and he is the father of our children. He was also my first kiss and he waited 3 months even for that first kiss.
He said he was willing to wait for as long as I needed, as I like you, had been treated badly by boys/men in the past and had trust issues. He never pressured me into anything, and after 6 months, it was me that made the first move on him.
Like others have said, the first time is never like it is made out to be in the movies. To be honest, it may be a little awkward and uncomfortable but once you get the first time out of the way things start to get a lot better and you will probably wonder why you waited so long lol.
Sex doesn't have to be about orgasm, it can be about showing how much you care for each other and commit to each other.
Can I ask you what exactly it is that you are afraid of? I think if OH has waited 3 1/2 years then he isn't going to do or say anything nasty etc...

If you are still hung up about this then maybe you could see a counsillor or something? I don't want this to come across nastily but after that long in a commited loving relationship and you still don't feel comfortable then there may be some underlying issue that needs addressing?