Tips to spice up the baby making?

[Miaw]

I know this may sound like an odd question, but I need help from fellow ladies who are also TTC.

When you are TTC it seems like making love becomes more of a chore than something special. And on top of that my SO has so much work and stress he's hardly ever just in the mood.

So what I'm really asking for is for tips for some of you who may have been in a similar situation? I want to get my SO in the mood, but I don't want it to just feel like it's just baby-making, and I don't know if I am making any sense?

 

[Baby.Love12]

Hi there. I dont have any advice but I would like to follow this and see if anyone else has any ideas.

 

[ttcin2012]

You are not alone... This has often bothered me. Both DH and i work long hours and travel. Plus DH and i are the boring, conservative type so it's worse, if you know what I mean. I am sorry I can't help with tips but here is how I try to manage. I dont tell DH about ov timing. I try giving it a break for a week after my period ends.. I ovulate only cd15-17 so we don't bd till around cd 10 (I use opks and temp) Similarly I give it a break just before period is due. That way we are not stressed out.
If I HAVE to get him to BD some day when he is all busy or tired, I put on some nice lingerie and make sure he notices without going all out on him. I think being a bit restrained helps create the atmosphere as against being brazen! I also ensure he eats and sleeps well atleast during ov week so that he is not all stressed out
Just want to say again that u r not alone ... All this ttc-ing is indeed difficult on many levels. Good luck and lots of baby dust!

 

[floridasian]

Me too! DH & I are not normally that active so trying to bd as much as possible during the fertile window is tough - especially when I don't know exactly when it is! I don't normally initiate that kind of things too but since DH doesn't know when my fertile window is obviously I have to initiate it and I feel like a whore when I have to bring out the sexy lingerie to do it! LOL!

 

[Gingerspice]

I have been initiating it in other places. We had got into a bit of a rut with DTD. We moved into this house and the only place we had done it was our bed. I needed the comfort of the bed as I was so paranoid and against getting pregnant I'd stop it happening anywhere else so that I could always ensure we got a condom on.
since making the decision its ok to not have the condom then I'm liberated. We've tried out other locations! OH is over the moon and enjoying the trying out of other places, the spontanaity of it, the freedom of no condom plus the change of positions!
I haven't yet had to resort to the lingerie although that usually is sufficient to get him to click whats on offer when I've used it prior to TTC.

I'd just say to just relax and enjoy it - maybe test other places/styles and try not to focus on the purpose of it aside from you enjoying yourself.

 

[kitty1987]

Have fun!

I started jokingly dancing earlier today while removing my work uniform haha, one thing led to each other. It was fun and didn't happen in the bedroom ;-)

 

[PDubs10612]

so here are my "tips" most are what pp have said but here's the list:

-sex anywhere but in the bed - be it the couch, kitchen counter, ottoman, shower....most times we still end up finishing in the bed for comfort reasons, but starting somewhere else seems to help

-start with something simple - cuddle, back or footrub, handjob..generally doesn't take long for it to escalate it to something else but this way you don't have to feel like you are always initiating it, even if you kind of are

- give the guy a break - try to give him a bit of a break before and after the fertile week, it helps him regroup but don't give him all 3 weeks off or he will feel like you only want him to make a baby, and we know that's not true

- do something "dirty" - I don't personally think these are dirty or kinky, but some might, but they tend to work pretty well:
- watch a dirty movie together, can rent or buy from your local adult store, or stream one from an online site, think similar to youtube....
- role playing - I actually am not a fan of getting dressed up but i find just talking about different roles and what I would be wearing and doing seems to do the job - if you are extra ambitious get the outfit
- send dirty pictures or videos during the day to your partner so when you get home they are ready to go - this can be as simple as a cleavage/bra shot taken in the bathroom at work, bonus if you are wearing heels and your blouse is half unbuttoned when you walk in the door at home
- buy a toy - go to your local sex shop and buy a new toy for the bedroom, if you are not comfortable with toys even a nice massage oil will give you a new activity for the bedroom, and if you don't want to purchase anything just the trip to the store and looking at everything with you will most likely be enough to get him going, and give you lots of sexy things to discuss another night in bed


That's all I have for now, may remember more a bit later...hope some of these are helpful

 

[PDubs10612]

Also..knew I'd remember a few more....my DH usually walks to and from work about 30 minutes...during fertile week I try to drive him to work one way so he has more energy, and also gets to spend a bit more time at home with me....I also make sure we have celery...because he is becoming used to the sperm demand and he wants to do the best he can he eats lots of celery to help with sperm production....

 

[babydustpower]

1. Don't tell him you are ovulating
2. If you know he is going to be working long hours on the day you ovulate, then plan to BD before or after your ovulation date. A tired DH will not be able to perform.

 

[Jemplus]

My hubby has been taking a morning off around O so we can spend time as a couple. Go out for breakfast etc. Then after a lot of foreplay- breakfast can be sexy- we get down to it. That way it is relaxed and fun and about us not about making a baby.

We've also been doing massage etc even when it's not the right time so we feel close the whole month. This has really helped. I get crippling pain around O and don't even want to be touched, let alone have sex so taking it slow and doing other things has been great.

Make time for each other and allow time to relax before you bd. You need your head in the game too. Best of luck.

 

[jessthemess]

You know what worked for us? We totally got in this rut last month too. We BD a lot. I'm not always into it as much. This might only work if your husband is really all about touch like mine is, he's all about hugging and hand holding and tickling, things like that. I would lay as close as possible to him and just sort of trace over him with my hands. So if I got extra touchy then he did back. And we'd just do that like on each others shoulders and arms and back, but not dirty. And after enough of that we were both really into it! It really made it romantic again! Like when we first started dating and hadn't taken things to the next level, but we wanted too and so we touched each other every chance we could. So we just recreate that feeling.

 

[Baby.Love12]

You know what worked for us? We totally got in this rut last month too. We BD a lot. I'm not always into it as much. This might only work if your husband is really all about touch like mine is, he's all about hugging and hand holding and tickling, things like that. I would lay as close as possible to him and just sort of trace over him with my hands. So if I got extra touchy then he did back. And we'd just do that like on each others shoulders and arms and back, but not dirty. And after enough of that we were both really into it! It really made it romantic again! Like when we first started dating and hadn't taken things to the next level, but we wanted too and so we touched each other every chance we could. So we just recreate that feeling.

That sounds like a good plan. I think when you are TTC you tend to lose sight of the emotional side of making love.