Tired, heartbroken, and oh so tired! Sorry, I just needed somewhere to rant..

[rebeccalouise]

Trying for 14 months now, since our youngest was born. No known problems, but irregular cycles. I've had blood work, and a scan done - nothing found. I'm thankful that nothing has been found, but on the other hand I'm at a loss. I had two positive tests in September, and it turned out to be a chemical. The same happened yesterday, yet another chemical. Everywhere I turn there's pregnancy announcements and newborn babies. I don't know how much longer I can keep trying, as I'm stick of being in tears over every month that passes.

Sorry for being so depressing, I just needed to get it out. I don't really have anyone to rant to, and DH doesn't quite get it (as amazing as he is!).

 

[steph1607]

Hi Rebecca, sorry to hear that you are feeling so down, but please don't ever apologise for it! We all just need a good rant every now and then, and like you say, as wonderful as our DHs might be, sometimes they don't just don't quite feel what we are feeling. My husband and I have been TTc our first for a year now, and was diagnosed with PCOS in January after not having AF at all since stopping the pill. After some lovely invasive tests, we started Clomid and found out on Friday that it didn't work so we are currently waiting to hear back from the consultant to see if we need to up the dosage.

I have been very down over the past couple of months to be honest. It's the constant getting your hopes up to have them come crashing back down that seems to wear me down. Like you, my life seems to be full of pregnancy announcements and babies. I am finding it harder and harder to feel happy for other people and then I feel horrible guilty for being such a bitter bitch about it! I'm so scared about what might to be come in the future. The thought of going through this over and over terrifies me. Doesn't help that the Clomid and Norethisterone I have to take to bring on AF makes me feel really low, and causes bloating and weight gain. Having suffered with eating disorders in the past, these side effects don't really help things.

Hang in there Rebecca and rant whenever you need to! I'm so sorry that I managed to rant back at you more than actually give any advice!