Tired of being told "don't get frustrated"

[Mom2Hope]

You know what...I'm sorry...I'm sorry that every other person in my life who has been a mother has forgotten that it was once frustrating to them to, or that perhaps they were just blessed enough to have no difficulty with breastfeeding...and please DO NOT tell me not to get frustrated if you chose to formula feed...if you didn't attempt to breastfeed how could you know whether or not it is frustrating...

My son will be 2 weeks old tomorrow. He breastfed great the first 3-4 days...then I became engorged and he couldn't latch...then he wouldn't latch...now he will only latch with a nipple shield and only sometimes...I got frustrated today because he didn't want to latch and it makes me feel like I am doing something horribly wrong because he wont latch...so I had to make a bottle...I was pumping and getting like 4 AND 5 ounces every time I pumped...but now I am down to getting maybe 2-3 ounces each time...and the supply I have in the fridge is down to almost nothing because he eats like 2- 2.5 ounces each time...we had a bottle mixed half and half (breast and formula) which my doctor said would be fine...but he didn't like it, or didn't want it...so I asked my OH to please just get me a bottle of all breastmilk...she did but then told me to stop getting frustrated because he picks up on it and then wont eat...NAW DUH...I get that...I know it...I feel horrible because I know she is right...she has been a mother 4 times and this is my 1st time with an infant that doesn't get to go home to someone else...I love him and he is perfect...feeding is the only issue we have had thus far...I know OH knows more about all this than I do...but heaven forbid I get frustrated...I mean...what else am I suppose to do..shrug it off...I try...It is just not that easy...

Now all that vent...for one little question...how can I up my milk supply...I want to breastfeed whether on the breast or via bottle I don't care...for at least 3 months...we are barely making it through 2 weeks...I don't want my milk to give out before the 3 months is up...and the lactation consultant I spoke with last week had told me generally around week 2 to week 3 some women who have to pump and use a bottle will have their milk supply start to go down...I don't want to have to do formula at all right now...but I don't really want to do half and half either if I can keep from it...any suggestions on increasing milk?? We do skin to skin every day...and I try to pump every 3 hrs. if we aren't latching...if he latches and eats from me then I don't pump at that time....unfortunately pumping every 3 hrs. when he is taking the bottle is hard when I have out 2 older kids to feed and tend to and homework to help with and dinner to cook and phone calls to make...and I feel like I am going insane...and its no ones fault...it is just life...

I love my family please don't take any of this rant as a "I'm unhappy" rant...I am just feeling like I am going crazy right now...I don't know why...

 

[thayet]

I completely understand - it IS frustrating and being told to NOT get frustrated just makes you even more frustrated! I've cried over breastfeeding more than any other part of the pregnancy or birth.

Have you tried any of the following:
- fenugreek/blessed thistle (herbs) - They do help some women up their supply
- you can ask your midwife/OB for domperidone prescription (I started this yesterday and it's already made a difference)
- getting your latch checked - It might feel like your LO is latched okay but my latch turned out to be subpar and his lack of suction was limiting my supply
- upping your water intake
- breast compression during feeding

I know it's super hard, but try to get as much sleep as possible, too. If you're overtired you won't make as much milk. It's still early yet, too, so you should be able to get your supply up to what your LO needs. Good luck! You're definitely not suffering alone, lots of us out there are right there with you

 

[rachelleigh]

Oh, I am exactly right there with you... My LO is 2 weeks today... We've struggled since day one. I want nothing more than for him to latch on and have a good feed. He had his tongue clipped yesterday for a posterior tongue tie and saw some improvement yesterday, but our last feeding he wouldn't latch for more than a few seconds and then just screamed and screamed... I ultimately gave him a bottle. I've been pumping after every feeding and it's so exhausting... I didn't expect nursing to be so difficult... It's so hard not to be frustrated or discouraged when you want what you know is best for your LO but it's a struggle... I know just how you feel and am so sorry you're having to go through this too.

I've had 5 appointments with the lactation consultants, 6 counting the visit in the hospital... We have another one on Sunday. I want so badly for my situation to improve. They haven't told me anything about my supply... I really really hope it's not going away.

 

[Mom2Hope]

I am sorry to hear you ladies have had trouble too...but nice to know I am not alone...I do need to up my water intake...I hate water and therefore don't drink a lot of it...but I will drink more for him...I haven't heard of that herb or prescription I will have to check in to that...

I have seen the lactation consultant 3 times while I was in the hospital, and once at the hospital after I got to go home...and one locally to where I live the other day...I am suppose to see the one at the hospital again sunday but everything where I live is iced over including roads and I don't think I will get to make it sunday so have to reschedule...his latch is "ok" is what I am told...just that he has to use the nipple shield and the shield that fits me is to big for his mouth because he is still so little...this is suppose to correct itself as he gets a little bigger but I'd love to not use the nipple shield too...but when I try just using no shield he wont latch but for a second before he pulls off and then like you have said he just screams and screams and it breaks my heart to hear him so unhappy and know he is hungry...so I end up giving him a bottle...

I really hope we can make BF work...even pumping and doing the bottle I would be ok with...it's a lot more work...but I just want him to have the breastmilk...*sigh*....

thanks for the support ladies.

 

[cat_reversing]

keep it going!!! feed as much as possible, breast first then pump or formula if you have to.
Call in some favours and get someone to look after the other 2 kids for even a bit so you can have time with baby, he's learning too!
I used fenugreek powder as we had been combifeeding from birth but I was unhappy with it and wanted to ebf.
When I first started I was drinking lots of water/fluids. You also need to eat well to keep your energy up and rest as much as possible.
Good luck, it will get better, we've been there and it will pass.

 

[Mom2Hope]

11 months...I see your sticker...that offers hope for sure...we are working at it...he latched twice today with the shield...but I swear I don't think he is getting half of the milk that way because it is all over him and me when he pulls off and is done...and then he still takes a bottle of pumped because he still acts hungry...I swear we are going to keep at this but it is frustrating...

 

[rachelleigh]

11 months...I see your sticker...that offers hope for sure...we are working at it...he latched twice today with the shield...but I swear I don't think he is getting half of the milk that way because it is all over him and me when he pulls off and is done...and then he still takes a bottle of pumped because he still acts hungry...I swear we are going to keep at this but it is frustrating...

I have the same concern with the shield, it can be really messy when milk leaks out, which is often. Just listen for swallows to get an idea of what he's getting. My little guy also had two "good" feeds today where he latched on with the shield with lots of swallowing, alternating sides twice and staying awake... But when I thought he was done he wanted more and took 70ml of pumped milk from a bottle.

I think I might try this fenugreek stuff, sounds promising...

 

[Noo]

feed, feed, feed.

Have you tried trying to get him to latch at the breast after initially feeding with the shield? He may find it easier to latch if less full. Get your positioning and attachment checked.

Try mothers milk, fenugreek, lots of oats - Get your partner to make cookies

Most important is good hydration and nutrition. Do not neglect yourself. If you don't eat then eventually neither will your baby. Ensure you're sitting with a drink and array of snacks.

 

[Mom2Hope]

I'm thinking of trying this fenugreek stuff too if it will help...I had not thought of trying to latch after using the shield...the lactation consultant had told me to try and latch without the shield first and if he got to frustrated or wouldn't latch then do it with the shield so that is how we have been working it...but for the next feed I will try latching after we are done instead of giving the bottle immediately...He did latch or both morning feeds already this morning...but same old thing still took the bottle and still had a mess of milk everywhere...I try to listen and watch for swallowing but sometimes I'm not sure whether I am seeing him swallow or just breath...

Thank you ladies for talking this through with me...it is most helpful...if for no other reason than keeping me sane lol..

 

[FAB mama]

I'd just like to say that yes, it's very frustrating. I didn't really have many problems, but that doesn't mean breastfeeding a newborn is easy. It's very very tiring and hard. It gets much easier though when they learn to latch themselves and support themselves better. It's soooo easy now.

You REALLY need to make sure you drink enough water though. You should be drinking a cup with each feeding at least if not more. I still drink water throughout the night when LO wakes up to nurse.

 

[Mom2Hope]

I wasn't doing that...but the last 2 days I have been trying to drink a bottle of water before each feeding...I am trying to take everyones advice and hope all of it helps thank you all so much!

 

[thayet]

The fenugreek really does seem to help - it's been used for ages to increase women's milk supply. Blessed thistle can help too, but don't try to drink it in a tea, it tastes terrible - get capsules. A compounding pharmacy is the best place to get the herbs, as they are fresher.

We had to go back on the shield yesterday - my previous damage that LO did is still healing and BFing was just too painful. His latch is sort of crappy with the shield but at least he's getting some milk from me and I top him up with formula or expressed milk after.

Anyone else SO looking forward to NOT cleaning/sterilizing/etc anymore??

 

[Mom2Hope]

yes...me...I want so much just to be BF rather than all this other extra stuff...but its worth it as long as he is getting the breast milk...looking forward to one day not having to do anything but let LO latch though and enjoy our feeding time...that would be nice...I am drinking more and trying to stay on top of eating regularly and yesterday and this morning I got almost an ounce more than I had been getting...that made me happy...