To Any BNB member Who has suffered a Miscarriage at Over 35

[kelster823]

add me in too.. I had a M/C Oct 2009 at the age of 39 at 6 weeks and this was my first pregnancy so this year will be BIG 40 and still trying

BABY DUST TO ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm sorry for your loss.

After my mc the doctor who discharged me from hospital said to me that she'd just had a M/C herself, that I shouldn't take too much notice of the constant talk about age, and that a first M/C is like a 'kick-start for the overies' and that the body will most probably get it right the next time.

If you've read my first post you will know that I was coming up to forty then, that I conceived the next month, and that I now have a school age terror.

Forty is nothing. You are a girl yet! Plenty of time to make two yet...



LucndaE
xxx

aww thanks it was a SHOCK to say the least when I found out I was preggos but happy to know I can get pregnant.... I know 40 is not OLD

we just gotta keep plugging away!!!!!

 

[whyme]

Definately not old! lol I certainly don't feel it ( 40 last November).

 

[HappyAuntie]

Hi ladies. This is my first ever post, but after reading this topic tonight I just had to register. DH and I are trying for our first baby - I am 36 and just had my 2nd mc this week (first mc was 10 months ago). The grief was crushing with the first mc... this time the questions are much harder - I'm having a really hard time not blaming myself. I'm terrified that we waited too long and this is the price we have to pay. We seem to be able to get pg pretty easily, which is a relief, but my fears are really taking off after this second mc.

Thanks for this thread - it gives me some hope.

 

[patboy]

Hi ladies.
I have just had my 3rd miscarriage in 14 months at the auld age of 40 devastated yet again, it just doesnt get any easier. I am now getting tested at the Recurrent miscarriage clinic, waiting on my results. I also think i have left it too late, only got married 3 years ago. Heres hoping our next pregnancy will be successful!
Pat

 

[HappyJacky]

Hi LucindaE Amos HappyAuntie and all (sorry too many to list individually!)

I'm so glad this thread is still going strong.

After my MMC in December I did a bit of posting and then decided I needed a break, but now I'm hoping to call in more often. Sorry if I've neglected anyone, my thoughts are with you all.

As for me, I'm still very hopeful - even though has just visted for a third time since MMC.

I'm still the cynics - I'm 4th generation of 40s Mums so I think that's a good pedigree!

Has anyone else heard of this!? The nurse at my clinic told me to get 'Selenium Ace" for BF which apparently makes super - She said it's not just women whose fertily is affected by age, and although he's 2 years my junior he will be affected too, particularly because he smokes!

Sending lots of and to you all!

Jx

 

[LucindaE]

Hello, everyone, sorry for my apparent rudeness in not acknowledging your messages - I couldn't log in to the system, it accused me of impersonating myself. that could only happen to me! Sorted it out after a few whinging emails and ten days...

HappyAuntie I am so pleased that you joined BandB because of a thread I started! Two miscarriages is terribly upsetting, and I am so sorry for your losses, but the statistics are on your side. Absurd to think of yourself as past it already.

patboy So sorry that you have to go to a recurrent miscarriage clinic and . I cannot imagine how awful three miscarriages must be or how bereft you must feel, but there may well be nothing wrong, after all, and if there is, it may well be sorted out soon. You are obviously very fertile.
I bet you get there.

HappyJacky Welcome back. Nice to hear from you and your penguin. Lots of selenium ace for your OH then...That should do the job...

whyme Hello, cariad, keep smiling and thanks for the visitor message!



to everyone.


LucindaE
xxxx

 

[LucindaE]

Hello, lovely ladies. Still thinking of you all. Hope nobody is getting downhearted?
'In the Spring a Young Man's (or young-looking one, which is as good) Fancy, Lightly Turns to Thoughts of Love...' and all that sort of thing, you know...
Being silly as usual.

Seriously, how are you all, girls?

LucindaE
xxx

 

[Beanbabe]

Hi girls Im not really in this bracket as Im 30 but I have had two mc in nine months one at nine weeks (mar 09) and one at nineteen weeks (Jan 10). Age is not a factor for me but im guessing if I was 10 years older this would be an easy answer as to why this is happening. I think they dont have a clue what causes mc and they will clasp at anything to give an answer, blaming whatever they can pull out of your file.

Just wanted to say my gran had her last child (number 13!!!) on her 41st birthday...the same year as her first grandchild was born. She is some woman.

 

[LucindaE]

Beanbaby, So sorry for your losses. A miscarriage in the first tri is bad enough, but later on it must be so traumatic. Sending you and best wishes for the future. Lovely about your Grandmother.

LucindaE
xx

 

[janie0]

I was 35 when I had my mmc at 18 weeks in July 09. The first thing the doctor said when he confirmed it by scan was 'well, you ARE 35'. I have a healthy 5 yr old, had no problems during either pregnancy and I am still on the fence whether or not we will try again.

 

[LucindaE]

JanieO, How insensitive of that Doctor! As if your loss wasn't bad enough, without his discouraging remarks. Please don't think of yourself as old because of his prejudices.


LucindaE
xx

 

[Amos2009]

Janie- you are definitely not old. At my first appt with my fertility doctor I made the comment that I was old and he straight out laughed and told me I was nowhere near the old mark. I am 37, so.....I have a few more years of trying! I just suffered my fourth loss, and was devastated at first because all my testing done by the fertility doc came back "normal". But at my last appt they did find that I have extremely low folate levels and high homocysteine levels, both of which cause early pregnancy loss. I hate to say it but I was so excited because there was something wrong with me!! Now they know what my "possible" problem is and it is being treated, so while there is no guarantee for a healthy pregnancy next time, this will at least definitely help!!

 

[LucindaE]

So sorry to hear about you having four losses, I can't imagine how upsetting that must be. Those hormonal imbalances sound very complicated so it's beyond me what they mean, but I am glad that you are getting treatment.
So glad that you are heading for success. Sending you, Janie and everyone lots of .

LucindaE
xx

 

[Sparky67]

I've just found this thread after searching down the posts - I remarried 7 years ago and have been "trying" since then, although after the first couple of years we just sort of drifted along and thought it would never happen. We had some tests and there's nothing wrong with either of us but I am "hostile" to his We were told it wasn't impossible, but just very unlikely.

After 7 years, out of the blue we got the positive test, but sadly at a second scan this Monday discovered I had suffered a MMC at 7+2. The first scan was good and there was a little heartbeat...

I am booked for an ERPC Monday and they have said they won't test for anything...

I am worried that this will just happen again because of our age, and I really don't want to just put myself through this again... I am 42, nearly 43 and OH is nearly 44... Has the boat just passed us by...

 

[Omi]

Cant believe i missed this thread!

I too find all the scare mongering a bit much. Ive had two mc's one at 37 and one at 38. Im now just 40 and married in November for the first time. I never had anyone mention my age to me except giving me a us earlier than for younger women (thank you very much ) I had a d&c with both mc's and the ladies at the hospital we're absolutely marvellous.

I got tested for recurrent mc's since i was over 35 and told to hold off ttc until i had test results back last year and was told everything was great - except my thyroid and im now on medication for life. They did say they cant guarantee I mc because of the hypothyroidism itself but that studies do show undiagnosed women with hypothyroidism mc much, much more and that my chances are really good. I will be monitored from the moment i do get pg but i quite prefer it that way (as opposed to a girl at work who had to wait until she was 14 weeks for her scan (she's 32). Gulp!

I have since gotten a referral to the fertility clinic and although i cant get ivf as too old for the referral ( you have to be under 38 up here) and am not considered infertile, they will do any investigations we want. Ive been in once already and did mention worrying about having 'old eggs' and the consultant nearly fell off the chair laughing saying old eggs don't make you mc they only make it so it takes longer to conceive. Phew, that was my main worry, lol!

The progression of both pg's also they said means we're obviously not infertile, obviously no issues with tubes, sperm etc and to just keep on trying. Ive done the ov test and I ov fine. (duh, i knew that ) We're both back for another apmt in June but we hope we'll pg by then!!

I have every faith it will happen as it only takes on time, one egg and one sperm. Time is a bit of a worry but hey, if you cant take the heat...

Big hugs to everyone on this thread, you are a bunch of brave and strong women. I console myself with knowing that once i do get pg and have a baby the little things wont faze me at all, it will wash over me cause Ive done the hard bit and everything else is gravy!

Omi xxx

 

[Sparky67]

Thanks for that - the comment about the old eggs made me feel better!

When the nurse was going through my history today she was asking me about previous pregancies and I said I had been pregnant once before... How old is your little one she asked... err, she's 20!!

 

[LucindaE]

Thanks so much for your stories. I am so sorry for your losses, and to you both.
I am confident myself that you will both get there and am sending you
for lots of healthy sperm and eggs joining together...
Thanks for sharing your postive stories aout the medical people, too. That is wonderful!

LucindaE
xxx

 

[Omi]

Im half polish and norwegian (married to a scot and been out of the country (thank god) for over 20 years) but there is one! good saying in Norwegian that goes something like this: There is nothing so bad it isn't good for something! Im keeping that close to my heart!

Mucho love to everybody!

 

[LucindaE]

That saying is very wise, and it's good that you can think of it now. So, when you have that baby, s/he is going to have a very intriguing background - Norwegian, Polish and Scottish...

LucindaE
xx

 

[padbrat]

Hi... I think I belong here...I am 38 and OH is 37 and we have had 2 m/c's.

I am pregnant with no 3, and had my first scan last Monday, but they said the sac was an odd shape and the baby was small, no HB. They thought I was 6+4, but I know I ov on day 18 or 19 so I think I was 5+6... I am back on Monday for another scan, but they said it is likely I will m/c again and this baby is dead already...

My first m/c I was 34 and I only got pregnant after they diagnosed an underactive thyroid, that I had apparently had for years... me and Oh had been trying for 6 years at that point and nothing! I am angry that if they found this earlier I might have concieved earlier and not be in this situation!

Having said that, if I lose this baby (4th baby, one of prev m/c was twins) they will test me....

I feel like the bell of doom is tolling and I am dreading Monday....