To start again..

[Soontobe]

I feel like a school kid that has put heaps of effort into their assignment only to get a F on their grades.

2 losses now, and the doctor explained that they only investigate when the woman reaches 3 miscarriages.. i was like "well thats real helpful'
he then went on to explain that i should no problem concieving again and that this will have no impact on any of my pregnancies..

I dont feel like sex at all, but still feel i have a bub on the way my body is feeling better, but i feel so spaced out and empty in my head. im just going around like an autobot..

i was thinking about trying again after my bday..so probably around march..

To make things worse my partner doesnt give two craps about anything and hasnt even asked how i was when i came back from the hospital..
My best friend at uni cares more about me, he's been so helpful. im just so confused about it all..

any thoughts on this?

 

[Vickie]

I don't really know that I can relate completely to your situation but I do feel for you. I can't imagine how hard it would be to TTC again after two losses As for your OH maybe this is his way of dealing with his grief? Men don't always know how to show their emotions. I'm always around if you need to talk

 

[lupi]

Hi Soontobe

Get ready this is a long one...

I am in the same situation that you are. We tried straight after our wedding in July 07 and fell in Oct and Dec. Both of mine never reached the Drs appointment stage athough they were booked to confirm them. I had no Dr intervention although I have heard its 3 before Drs will look into things also.

Mine only lasted a week each but in that week and the build up, with early symptoms, we couldnt help but get excited and told people. That is certainly something we wont be doing next time.

I also had to give up my job as it was in an enviroment with lots of heavy lifting working with animals etc,we were taking so many precautions and being so safe. I didnt have to give notice at my job I left on the fri and sadly started bleedingthat night. So now im in catch 22- I have loads of time on my hands to think about losses and count days till ovulation and testing days (which make them go really slow and drives me mad) and want a job to help with money but ultimatly would be unemployable and would be ditching job as soon as pregnant, as hubby already wrapped me cotton wool previously.

We have tried again this month and test on Fri, hubby birthday on the sat so would be really special news if we were. However im thinking of my next as part of the process and dont have high hopes for it although im sure i will be just as excited as the last 2. We are trying to look at it as part of the process and if next is 3rd loss at least we can seek some help. Fortunatly waiting a week to be past previous loss stage isnt too long to wait. I really feel for those that loose babys further along.

So I hope I have been some help, if not just to let you know that you are not on you own.

Good luck to us both in the future!!
LX

 

[loopylew]

Sorry to hear about your loss, it must be so difficult. I think your OH doesn't know hoew to deal with his own feelings so he's not asking about yours, which doesn't help anything. I hope you start to feel better soon xx

 

[Mervs Mum]

Dont know what to say except

 

[poppy]

I am so sorry Soontobe,

What you are going through must be terrible. Give yourself plenty of time to recover physically and emotionally - and don't google too much! I know after my miscarriage, I spent a lot of time on the internet googling and winding myself up about things.

I do think the policy of three miscarriags is tough, especially if you are worrying yourself about things. But studies indicate that a lot of women have two miscarriages and go on to have healthy babies. I know it doesn't help you now though. I am sure next time you get pregnant, everything will be fine - it won't stop you feelling scared though.

Your OH probably doesn't know how to react in the situation. He is probably trying to deal with his own feelings and trying to help you. Some men find that if they just 'act as if everything is normal' then it might help you/take your mind off things etc. Men approach problems as 'fixers', women as 'talkers.' Us women, talk abour our feelings to each other, all our fears - even if we know that talking about them is just to help us deal with the emotion and might not necessarily fix things. Men always try to fix things and if they can't they don't see a point to talking about them. I remember when I miscarried, my DH was sympathetic but kept trying to talk me out of my sadness and kept coming up with suggestions - he didn't completely understand that I just wanted to talk about my feelings. I found talking to my mum more helpful.

It is a dark time just now for you, but there is light at the end of the tunnel and us girls are here for you. PM me if you want to chat.

Poppy
xxx