To those of you who are already parents...

[xLeeBeex]

Just wondered if you could shed some light on some of the things you can't do after you have children.

People are always telling me to live a little, enjoy myself etc. But that isn't me, I'm more of a home person, I don't really go out a great deal, or go clubbing/drinking, and the things I do like doing are going to dinner, or cinema with my OH and relatives would jump at the chance to babysit so that wouldn't be an issue.

What do you all think, what should we be doing now that we cant do after children?

 

[luvmyfam]

Stay up late, go out to eat... its really hard to take a toddler to a restaurant, go places spontaneously late in the evening/night (movies, bowling, to get ice cream), go shopping for yourself or as a couple, read books, play games, invite friends over to talk/hang out. Its all the little stuff.

I'm always saying to DH "what did we do before we had kids?!" And he says "whatever we wanted". And that's basically it, just small little day to day things that you don't even think about, but once you're busy raising a family you don't have as much time for. Being a parent is extremely rewarding, but there are small sacrifices.

 

[_Mouse_]

Hubby and I's life has not changed much since having LO we still eat a restaurants with LO, we still go out for the day shopping, we still go visit friends and family the closes of them is 1 hour 1/2 away by car and the farthest is 6 hours away. We took LO to the movies for the first time at 2 weeks old

I find the trick is to know your child and be prepared. Bring snack, bottles(if needed) , toys, diaper, extra clothes etc. with you and you should be fine. I never leave the house with out a full diaper bag, a backpack leash thing(not sure what its called) and in the car we usually keep a stroller or wagon.

 

[xprincessx]

I was exactly like you before having Callum (staying in etc) and it hasn't changed my life in any way...i still stay up late, i just end up a little tired.

I can still do all the things i used to do

 

[xLeeBeex]

Near us we have a shopping centre that's open til 10pm and sometimes around 7pm if we're bored we'll go there. I would miss that a little bit but tbh it would probably save me money haha!

And just out of curiousity, what film did you take your LO to see Mouse?

 

[RainbowDrop_x]

Have a long soak in the bath without

A) being surrounded by toddler toys/hands
B) fear of waking up said toddler should you decide to put them to bed before you have a bath.

Most things like shopping/eating out etc we still do, it's the smaller things that I found I missed more, and like you I'm more of home person so not too much changed but I definitely took for granted being able to pick up a book and read without disruption!

 

[Mrs HM]

We try to involve our LO with our life, so take him to restaurants and on holidays/mini breaks etc. He comes grocery shopping with me and everywhere else I need to go. He can be a handful at times but I don't think I'm missing out on anything. TBH it's better with the three of us enjoying things as a family!

I really miss watching TV/DVD at any time of the day or night! I'm too busy looking after LO during the day and I'm always catching up on chores at night.

I know I've said we take LO with us when we go out for dinner, but sometimes it would be lovely for it to be just the two of us for date night! I thought we could still do this, but I bf for 12months so had to be there for bedtime (no pumping cos I'm lazy)and even after that he wouldn't settle for anyone but me or DH, so no one could babysit for us. Last week was the first time in over 18months that my DH and I had a couple of hours to ourselves in the evening as we went out for early dinner, back by 10pm!

 

[_Mouse_]

Near us we have a shopping centre that's open til 10pm and sometimes around 7pm if we're bored we'll go there. I would miss that a little bit but tbh it would probably save me money haha!

And just out of curiousity, what film did you take your LO to see Mouse?

spiderman he slept through the whole thing

 

[Mrs HM]

I can't believe no one else said to make sure you enjoy your lie-ins! There no chance of sleeping past 8am in my house, regardless if you've been up half the night due to teething etc. So enjoy lying in bed, just relaxing!

 

[RainbowDrop_x]

I can't believe no one else said to make sure you enjoy your lie-ins! There no chance of sleeping past 8am in my house, regardless if you've been up half the night due to teething etc. So enjoy lying in bed, just relaxing!

Yes!!!! This was and is a biggie for me!! My DD is up at 7am regardless of what time she goes bed!!

Although saying that my DH does leave me in bed sometimes especially after my work days.

 

[xLeeBeex]

I'm awake at 6.30 am most days now anyway!

You're not doing much to convince me I'll be missing out on things lol...

 

[Mrs HM]

I'm awake at 6.30 am most days now anyway!

You're not doing much to convince me I'll be missing out on things lol...

Honestly...I bet every mummy here will tell you that whatever has changed, it's totally worth it. You'll only gain from having a LO, but there will be times when you'll think 'what have we done!' LOL

 

[xLeeBeex]

I will miss reading by the sounds of it but if I'm desperate to get stuck in a book I can get the OH to take little one out or somethin

 

[xLeeBeex]

I'm awake at 6.30 am most days now anyway!

You're not doing much to convince me I'll be missing out on things lol...

Honestly...I bet every mummy here will tell you that whatever has changed, it's totally worth it. You'll only gain from having a LO, but there will be times when you'll think 'what have we done!' LOL

I've waited so long as it is, I don't mind sacrificing those little things!

 

[RainbowDrop_x]

To be honest you don't really miss out because you find different things to do.

 

[noodles13]

Have a wee in peace, eat your food in peace, go 2 minutes without being asked the same question repeatedly hahaha its all fun tho and worth every minute x

 

[Button#]

Sleep! And going to the theatre if you enjoy that sort of thing.

I certainly don't regret having LO and we do go to restaurants but in the day rather than evening and I take him shopping but end up just buying clothes for him.

I'd just say make the most of just having you to look after before you have LO.

 

[Tanikit]

What I miss the most is sleep - I think I have managed only a couple of nights of sleeping though the night (5-6 hours in a row - not 8 or 9) in the last 6 years. My children are not good sleepers.

Life is totally different - there is less time for my DH than there was, but there are increased relationships now - I have 3 people to talk to at supper instead of just one. I have not been able to read a book as long as I used to or watch a movie all the way through without interruptions and I have probably only gone out a few times since my children were born.

Meal times can be a problem - I never get to sit down to a full meal as there are constant demands and things need cleaning cause the toddler spilled her juice. The house is a big mess and it gets dirty behind me as I clean - so enjoy a clean house now.

Leaving the house takes a LOT longer than it used to.

But: while I get up much earlier it is usually to the sounds of "I love you, I want juicy! I want my Daddy!" and that makes me smile whereas before I did not like getting up even at 9am The evening rush is crazy, but I never had the sense of calm that comes at looking at my children fast asleep in their beds. While the house is a mess, its been fun to watch them play with their toys and its great to watch the improvement as my toddler grows up and the spills get less and watch them learn to pick up toys.

I'd say enjoy the stage you are in - time without children is great to look back on, time with kids is special and one day I imagine that time alone again will be equally special, though I'll miss my little ones being with me.

 

[HoneyBee144]

I agree with what everyone else has said.

Before having LO I didn't go out drinking or partying, OH and I liked staying home or going to the cinema which we can still do now we have LO.

The thing I wasn't prepared for though was that having a baby is 24/7. I know it sounds obvious but even when my LO is sleeping I'm still constantly listening for him, thinking when his next bottle is etc. You don't get holidays or time off (like at work) and even when we've been out on our own at the end of it you have to pick your LO up and get them ready for bed and be in 'mummy mode'. I love this part of it though and I'm certainly not complaining but it is overwhelming to begin with. There is a good thread on the Baby Club, I think it's called 'identity' and it's about how you have or haven't changed since you had a child. Maybe worth a look?

It is like constantly being on duty but I most certainly wouldn't change it for the world

 

[HoneyBee144]

I agree with what everyone else has said.

Before having LO I didn't go out drinking or partying, OH and I liked staying home or going to the cinema which we can still do now we have LO.

The thing I wasn't prepared for though was that having a baby is 24/7. I know it sounds obvious but even whrn