To try or not to try?

[Ferry]

So. DH and I were LTTTCers. Four years of it, which included one natural pregnancy miscarriage and two successful-then-failure rounds of IVF. We finally got our little bundle of joy in Jan (after pre-eclampsia issues - cue PANIC!) after a natural "miracle" the month after miscarriage number 3. Although DS was premature he's coming on grand.

Now, DH is feeling his age (40) and I'm not getting any younger (32). We'd really like a second but are worried it might take years again - esp as we won't qualify for NHS IVF as we have a child now, and there's no way we could afford it privately.

So we really want to get on it. I honestly don't think I could cope with a one year old and a newborn... but the likelihood is that it will take us a LONG time again before we get pregnant, and then with all my miscarriages in the past I'm worried that will happen again... and again... So I feel like I need to start the process NOW. Even though I don't want to get pregnant right this second. I'm already feeling that ovulation time panic and push to try, try, try.

What would you do? Should we get going, because then at least we'd have started our umpteen year journey... or hold off in case sod's law gets us pregnant right away??? I know I really should wait, but I'm so conditioned to trying every month I can't stop myself from doing it (I was ovulation tracking after my first post-partum period for God's sake!).

Gah!

 

[mrs c f]

Hey I was the same - 4 years, 1 loss then referred for Ivf only to finally conceive naturally. I wanted to try when Aoife turned 1 but we have waited. She is now 2 and we are going to start. I think we might have issues as I have been spotting 5 days before period so I got my progesterone tested and it was low. I've had it tested again this month so we will see. Weirdly this wasn't the issue last time. Anyway I just wanted to say go for it, lm sure you would be chuffed whenever it happened. Good luck x

 

[Islabella]

DH and I tried for three years with no success, several rounds of surgery on my part and one "dead" ovary/one blocked tube. Finally fell pregnant with our DD a month before IVF was booked and she's now 13 months old. We assumed we could be lax with contraception as it took so long the first time and we're told how incredibly lucky we had been - consultant said one in a million natural pregnancy (won't go into details but scan for pain at 4 weeks showed corpus luteum cyst on the previously declared dead ovary!)

moral of the story... I'm now 23 weeks pregnant with a surprise no.2!!!

Now we've got our heads around it more it's very exciting but still daunting to think of a 17 month age gap! Consultant couldn't believe it when I booked in with her again - said she was dumbfounded! Good luck on your journey... Everyone's is different, just to put the quick second conception story out there as I'd never have believed it would happen before it did to me!

 

[_jellybean_]

Hi. Not ltttc but was reading here b/c have a friend who's been ttc a long time and is having problems...but I came upon your post, so figured I'd reply. I'd go for it. Mine are 12 months apart, and we did that b/c I'm disabled (long story), and for a few other reasons--age being one, and ya know what, yep, it's hard, and yes, I'm tired a lot, but it's getting much easier now that they're 2 and 3 years old. We're out of them both being babies, so the go go go go go of diapers and bottles and all of that has eased. Gl hon!

 

[lisap2008]

I would go for it , as you said it could be a long battle again getting pregnant and staying pregnant but hopefully not, if it does happen right away and stick , yes it takes alot of energy to care for a toddler and a new baby (speaking from experience) but personally I wouldn't have had it any other way, and if you have a helpful partner it makes it easier.

 

[bunyhuny]

Have you looked into doing IVF abroad? The price is so, so, so much cheaper elsewhere. DH and I could never afford local IVF, so we went to ISCARE clinic in Prague. A round of IVF with ICSI runs about 4500 euro including all meds and exams- and they have a great success rate at almost 50% overall. You could start saving up a little at a time now so that if you haven't naturally had a baby in a couple years, you'd have enough to do a round.

In the mean time, might as well go for it au naturale!

 

[Hb.x]

We were in a similar position (2 years TTC, told we would never be able to conceive and carry with no assistance, at 22 I was too young to start assistance and they told me to return at 23 - the age for IVF in the uk). By some miracle I fell pg and although I had a hell of a time of it, DS is now 18 months. We discussed what to so afterwards because we'd love another, and we just decided if we didn't go for it we'd regret it. I'm now on month 18 with bfn, but I know I'm going what I can.

I'd say go for it. I'm crushed every single time AF arrives but if I wasn't trying Id kick myself for it later. Every single time I feel down, DS does something that brightens up my whole day and makes me realise how lucky I am to have him.

Good luck on your journey