To try or not to try

[Sarah369]

I'm starting an access course next month for 1 year with the view to starting uni next September (2017) studying midwifery.

I've wanted to do this for years but life got in the way. Marriage and 3 children

However I can not get rid of this overwhelming feeling I want to be pregnant for one last time.

Discussed it with Hubby and we said we could look at it after I graduate in 4 years. By which time I will be 34. However all my other children are close in age I feel like the last one would be left out. As much bigger gap.
Then I thought put uni off for another year but that idea upsets me as I've waited so long.

I keep writing pros and cons for each

I don't know what to do for the best. Think I just need a good slap haha

 

[JoJazie]

The question is: In ten years time, what will you look back and be happiest with/wish you did?

(If the answer is that it won't matter by then, then that gives you the answer, to follow your heart. You will be happy either way.)

 

[MindUtopia]

I think only you know the right answer for you. If I was in your situation, I would do your course, finish, and then look to have another. I had my first while working on my degree and it was perfectly doable, with a lot of help, but it's expensive. I took a year off and then went back part-time when she was a year old and then eventually full-time. It's doable, but nursery is expensive (unless you have family around who will help you out) and the hours can be difficult. I literally work all day 9-5, pick her up from preschool at 5, we make dinner, do bath and bedtime, and then at 8 I carry on working for another hour or two before I go to bed at 10. I do that at least 4 days a week, on Fridays I don't work in the evening, just 9-5, but I do need to work some weekends. I have a bit more flexibility now that she's older (3.5) as she's easier and can entertain herself, but it would be a lot harder with a smaller baby. We want to have a second, but we've waited until I finish and then get a year in at my new job, so we'll be trying very end of this year and into next year. I'll be 37 at the youngest when the next one is born and we'll have at least a 4.5 year age gap. That worked for us and it means I don't have the stress of my unfinished degree hanging over me and can enjoy as the next will be our last. You could always try the access course for a year and then decide what your next steps will be. You may feel it's something you can balance with another baby once you get stuck in, or you may meet other mums who are doing the same, or you might decide you want to power through and finish first.