my ex phoned me today and said my boys where missing me. eldest son isnt his. but treats him as his own. he asked if id come and see them and i did my eldest met me at the gate, he's 9, i feel sorry for him really cos he turned round and asked if i was gonna have a bump again, he'd heard my ex talking. he wasnt bothered was more interested as to whether there be another brother or sister to look after. when i was preg with other 2 he used to hide under my bump lol he really is a mummies boy. I brought them home today i was pleased i love them. they are my boys, but i was sad at the same time and had to phone their dad and ask him for help. i felt bad i should be able to cope. but he was good, he sat there for ages just holding me cos i was so upset thinking i couldnt cope. strange how all of a sudden you can go from being happy to the most depressed person in the world.