Toddler throwing things for fun

[baileybubs]

Hello,

So I know this is a phase and I know my son is just fascinated by his new skill, but my 3 year old will not stop throwing things in the air. In the house he's almost hit the tv and windows several times and outside he keeps throwing things over the fence (not on purpose, he just throws them up and they happen to go over).
My neighbour has just complained to me that she doesn't mind shoes but has hurt her feet on the stones he's thrown over and can I get him to stop. Well quite honestly my answer is no! I don't know how to stop him bar locking him indoors or constantly being by his side to take stones off him.

I've tried everything all the general articles say like tell him that some things are ok to throw but he shouldn't throw stones - he either doesn't get what I'm saying or doesn't care. I've tried buying him throwing games like a frisbee aim game and a ring toss. I've got him things he is allowed to throw like scarves and foam toys that aren't hard or heavy, but he still always reverts back to other things that I've told him he shouldn't throw.

Any advice? I don't want to have to stop him going outside but besides having eyes in the back of my head/never cooking, cleaning or going to the loo whilst he's outside or ignoring my other child I don't know how to get him to stop.

Oh and just a note we have those annoying slate stones all around the edge of our garden which is where he's getting the stones from to throw.

 

[Rainbow82]

Honestly if you've told him no and he's still throwing things he shouldn't like stones then bring him inside for a set amount of time every time until he learns. Apart from being annoying for your neighbors it's also dangerous and could even hit him in the way back down.
It's difficult to stay on top of it. my son also likes throwing things he shouldn't (sand and gravel) but it really is the only way and at three unless there is some SEN he really should be able to understand that he's not allowed to throw stones and throwing them will mean a consequence.

 

[pa2k84]

Sounds like you are doing things right re. giving him things he can throw. I think it needs to be reinforced every time he throws things he should not, brought inside then allowed out and shown again what he can throw. May take a while and yes cleaning may suffer in the short term but what he is doing is not safe and unfair in your neighbor to have to keep dealing with.

 

[Scout]

Do you have consequences set up for disobeying? At 3, my daughter understood that certain behaviors were not acceptable and if she did them after being told to not do them, she got a time out. Not saying time outs are the only way to go as I know not everyone agrees with it, but it does work for us and I think that's what's key; to find something that works for you and your family.

 

[_Meep_]

How's his speech? For N, I'd try explaining why certain items are dangerous/unacceptable to throw and then ask her why we don't throw those things and get her to vocalise it back to me. That sort of approach always seems to work for us, for some reason! I think because she then thinks it was her idea not to do it.

 

[MindUtopia]

I would take him somewhere to play or give him something safe to play with that he can throw, a soft ball, etc. But then also treat this the same way you would treat him doing anything he's been asked not to do, whatever that is in your house.

I don't tolerate my daughter throwing things when she could break or hurt someone and he's old enough to understand that at 3. I think realistically it is your job to set safe boundaries for him and you can make him stop, but you'll have to be firm and consistent.

What strategies do you use to get him to understand he is doing something he shouldn't be generally? I would apply the same ones. For us, my daughter sits out (we have an out of the way window seat she sits on) to calm down when she is asked not to do something but didn't listen. Then when she is calm and ready we talk about it and then I ask her to apologise. Perhaps you could try the same or whatever it is you do to set boundaries for him normally, every single time he does what he's told not to (yes, it's a lot of work, but that's how you set healthy boundaries), then ask him to apologise to the neighbour or help make her a card to say sorry. I don't think it's okay to just throw up your hands and say you can't do anything though when he is hurting another person or potentially damaging someone else's property.

 

[baileybubs]

I'm not actually just throwing my hands up that's why I've asked for advice, I was just demonstrating how I am exasperated and not sure how else to deal with it as nothing seems to be working.

I do bring him inside and I am consistent with it, I tell him that it is wrong and why it is but I'm not sure if he's understanding it. He only just turned 3 on Friday and his speech isn't fantastic yet so he wouldn't be able to explain back to me why I have told him to stop. But I will continue to be persistent with this and hope he comes to an understanding as I'm probably being impatient wanting him to understand it too quickly.

He's generally a well behaved child but things like time outs or sitting on the step just don't seem to work as he then finds it like a game and it's amusing to him. We have sticker charts to try and encourage positive behaviours but as I say I'm not sure how else show him that this isn't acceptable. He just seems obsessed with throwing and unfortunately he just throws whatever is close to hand. I have gone out today and bought him some water games to try and encourage playing with those and splashing/throwing the water and this seems to have helped today. Perhaps it's more something I've only noticed recently due to nice weather so we've been in the garden more who knows?

I completely understand my neighbour complaining and I'm not saying she shouldn't, of course I have respect for her and her property which is why I asked for help as to what other people would do.
I also just want to point out that when I say stones I mean those little gravel pebbles not anything that would cause any damage to property. Not that this makes it accepable, I just don't want you to think I'm some sort of monster who is allowing her child to throw things that would cause mass damage or injure himself and others!