Toddler violence!

[citrusfruit]

Please can someone give me a pep talk?! I have an almost 3 year old, who has been hitting out of frustration for probably about 2 months. I’m at my wits end with it. We have got a new baby and now she is being hit too. I feel like we are doing the right things (although not necessarily all the time as tiredness and frustration dictates how we react sometimes)

Basically, what I’m looking for is anyone who has come out the other side? I feel like this phase is never going to end. We try so hard to deal with it appropriately and consistently and to reassure DS that he is loved, but every time I lose my temper and shout at him I feel we are being set back. Someone tell me he won’t grow up a delinquent please?!!

 

[biglebowski]

Does your lo suit stripes as he will be in jail....oh no wait...thats just what I thought about mine!!! My lo went through a phase of hitting when he wasnt amused / told off etc. Try to stay calm, and keep any response short and to the point. I would just say "we do not hit" and move away for a short period. If he tried to keep hitting Id tell him it hurt and I dont like being hit. I said if he kept hitting I didnt want to sit next to him and left the space he was in.
I tried not to say too much in the moment as he was usually too stressed out to listen. Later when he was calm Id talk about how hitting isnt nice, and its better to use your words.
It takes time and LOTS of repetition. Stick with it, its very much a phase. My lo is 5 and hits out extremely rarely. It used to be an almost daily occurence when he was a toddler, along with tantrums that lasted for yonks and biting!! At one point I thought I had a feral puppy on my hands.

 

[Gym knickers]

My DD2 did this for a couple of months around the time her sister was born- she never hit the baby just her sister or us. We went through all the - get down to her level, explaining why not etc and she did grow out of it pretty quickly. She occasionally does it now at 3 but very rarely. She’s got a little bit more of a feisty side to her but I’d never worry about taking her anywhere or anything like that- hang in there!

 

[Dawnlouise30]

My son who is now 5 was totally the same. I honestly was at my wits end with him. His brother was born when he was 3 years 4 months and he was horrible to him. Poor baby practically lived in the sling strapped to me or daddy to keep him safe.
Fast forward 2 years and my older son is much calmer and a generally nicer child to be around. It's taken time. He struggled to settle to the rules at school and did hit his friends but now he is realising he has more control over his own actions.
He gets on better with his brother now too.
There is light at the end of the tunnel xx