Told the children

[Creative]

It was a traumatic evening, and one I do not want to repeat.
In our house we have special awards for good achievement in exams etc. Last night my Oh and I decided that we would award me one and ask the children to guess why.
So at dinner we got out the chocolate orange and asked them to guess. there were loads of suggestions flying about and the mood was really fun and then "you're pregnant" was suggested. They wouldn't believe us when we said yes.
son 20 said "well that's your business, if you are happy so am I"
son 18 said "you realise how irrisponsible you are? there is x% risk of Downs and the mortality rate for mothers goes up and the health risk goes up etc etc. (should pass his Alevel biology with flying colours) He was upset, but calmed down when I pointed out that I am actually healthy and fit and that if God gave us a baby with complex needs, he would also give us the strength and help to care for it. He told his GF last night and apparently had a good laugh at my expense!
Daughter 12 was the reaction that really shocked me she burst into tear and ranted on "I was expecting this to be a normal meal and now you tell me this, I just wanted you to tell me off for not eating my veg, not to tell me that you are going to have a baby. What if you forget all about me etc etc.....
She's the one I thought would be really excited and bouncing about it and it took me back a bit. Just kept reassuring her that it would be all ok and that it would love to have her as a big sister.
Then son 20 said "will you not use the word it because that's very offensive it's a baby not an it"
I think tonight we'll be coming up with a name for it.
Have to say that this morning the mood is far less fraaught and daughter12 is now looking forward to getting out her rocking horse.

 

[future_numan]

Back when I announced my pregnacy with Emily.. my then 19 yr old had a bad reaction also...
My advice is to just give them time to let it soak in.
That same daughter who was so upset ended up being the most excited and helpful in the end..

 

[StillFertile]

Sorry to hear it was initially traumatic, Creative but it does sound like it will work out. I can understand their individual reactions and I agree with future numan to give them time.

My son is a bit older and knew we were TTC so he's had time to wrap his head around any issues he may have had. If he had any, he did not express them to me!

Plenty of time for everyone to get used to the idea and I know as your pregnancy progresses, everyone will be on board. How could they not? It's so exciting!

 

[Creative]

it is exciting and we are both in shock too.

 

[Coxie]

My 10 year old daughter pretty much had the same reaction as your daughter. As the pregnancy has gone on she has been right by my side and is so excited to meet her brother. I let her plan the baby shower, what he will wear home for the hospital etc so she still feels special and wanted.

She will come around. Congrats!!!!

 

[Creative]

I've taken exactly that tack with her and she's gone off to school and told three friends and they've been enthusiastic so that's helped a lot.

 

[spikey doodle]

Sorry to hear about their reaction, not exactly the evening anyone would look forward to!

They sound very spoiled and all a bit up their own bum!

Hopefully they'll loosen up and appreciate what's coming

 

[Coxie]

It is a very common reaction actually. It is good that she is talking to her friends about it...before you know it she will want to go shopping for the baby. Are you going to find out the sex?

 

[Creative]

It is a very common reaction actually. It is good that she is talking to her friends about it...before you know it she will want to go shopping for the baby. Are you going to find out the sex?

thanks!!
They are all on board now and happy about it too!
the older 2 were sat at the table last night working out between them what more they can do to help out. The 12 year old keeps asking "would you like a cup of tea?" "is the baby ok" "do you like this name?" I'm really happy with their reactions. they were very true to form, we are a family where people are encouraged to express their feelings honestly.

The others all want me to find out the sex, but I don't want to. I want the wonderful surprise of finding out.

When I had my daughter, I didn't have any scans other then an initial dating scan and had no intention of finding out. I desperately wanted a girl, and I remember looking down and seeing no penis and being extatic. I'd love another girl to even up the numbers and it would make more sense living accomodation wise, clothes wise etc, but if it's a little boy It'll still be cool.

 

[spikey doodle]

[
They are all on board now and happy about it too!
the older 2 were sat at the table last night working out between them what more they can do to help out. The 12 year old keeps asking "would you like a cup of tea?" "is the baby ok" "do you like this name?" I'm really happy with their reactions. they were very true to form, we are a family where people are encouraged to express their feelings honestly.

So glad they came around, must be a huge relief for you. I guess kids can be inherently selfish and a bit hurtful, but they do eventually soften up.

 

[Creative]

[
They are all on board now and happy about it too!
the older 2 were sat at the table last night working out between them what more they can do to help out. The 12 year old keeps asking "would you like a cup of tea?" "is the baby ok" "do you like this name?" I'm really happy with their reactions. they were very true to form, we are a family where people are encouraged to express their feelings honestly.

So glad they came around, must be a huge relief for you. I guess kids can be inherently selfish and a bit hurtful, but they do eventually soften up.

I think children are wired differently than adults, I don't think they are selfish, they were just very frightened on lots of different levels. Concern about my health, the babies health and they do say things spontaneously, but as a parent, you see their insecurity and their personal take on things and you respond in love to that.

 

[spikey doodle]

... but as a parent, you see their insecurity and their personal take on things and you respond in love to that.

Yes, that's a really good way of putting it.

 

[StillFertile]

... but as a parent, you see their insecurity and their personal take on things and you respond in love to that.

Yes, that's a really good way of putting it.

I agree. That's really luvley