Told to BF less and do CIO...

[KarenLV]

Well,today I went to the babyclinic for Skyler's checkup and we got talking about his eating,sleeping,wellbeing etc.
The nurse was worried that I BF too much and thus Skyler is not eating enough solids even though he eats all his food and is gaining weight on track.She feels if I start cutting down on BF that he wont wake up at night and will sleep through....I always thought it depended on the temperament of the baby and not solids?
Then we started talking about his sleeping arrangements and she said that he should be sleeping in his own room and crib by now and that I should start with Sleep Training (a.k.a CIO). I dont know how I feel leaving my baby in a crib and letting him cry it out.I was so bothered by this I could barely sleep last night.She wants me to start within 2 weeks. I dont know. All these changes are making me uncomfortable....I know the nurse means well...
I'm scared!

 

[mylittlebubs]

When Lincoln was 2 months old I was told not to BF too much too, but i didn't listen. (I just nodded when the doctor told me)
I couldn't let him cry when he;s hungry. I did and still do what I feel comfortable.
and she told me to start weaning him at 4 months, but i didn't i did at 5 months. She said he's ready for it, but now he's still fine with a few teaspoon of veggie puree, even some day if we go out and i only BF he;s still happy and fine.
In my opinion, i think every nurse would give different advice, even the doctor, it's not just what they know it's what they believe too.
Anyway, I wouldn't do something i don't feel right for my child, but that';s just my opinion.

 

[mylittlebubs]

(me again)
I think i know how you feel, i got told many times about many thing like ; he should sleep through the night already, he should be able to fall asleep by himself, he should be able to drink from the cup , or i should feed him bla bla bla....lots of things hun
this really upset me.. sometimes it makes me feel like it's wrong if i don't do it..but i don't,lol. well, not until i think it;s time

 

[JennyLynn512]

You should do what YOU feel is the best for your LO. Nurses, doctors, and other medical people are there to give the advice that they think is the best; but you and only you know what is best for your baby. If you think he wouldn't do best with the cry it out, then don't do it. If you think he is ready to go into his own room, then try other things instead of CIO. I would suggest starting to read a book about sleeping arrangements and how to get your LO into their own room. But only do this if you are ready! No one can force you to do anything you are not ready for! Good luck!

By the way, Valerie is still co sleeping with us and she is 9 months old! Ha! I just nod and smile when my doctor tells me she should be sleeping in her room. We'll get her there...on her own time.

 

[KarenLV]

You should do what YOU feel is the best for your LO. Nurses, doctors, and other medical people are there to give the advice that they think is the best; but you and only you know what is best for your baby. If you think he wouldn't do best with the cry it out, then don't do it. If you think he is ready to go into his own room, then try other things instead of CIO. I would suggest starting to read a book about sleeping arrangements and how to get your LO into their own room. But only do this if you are ready! No one can force you to do anything you are not ready for! Good luck!

By the way, Valerie is still co sleeping with us and she is 9 months old! Ha! I just nod and smile when my doctor tells me she should be sleeping in her room. We'll get her there...on her own time.

Can you recommend any books about sleeping arrangements?

 

[Sarah88]

I have heard that no cry sleep solution is a good book.
Please don't listen to the HV, only you know your baby

 

[marley2580]

I second the no cry sleep solution by Elizabeth Pantley

 

[Chel]

Its a difficult one. Solid foods do really help babies when they're old enough 6+ months to be fuller longer and so have more energy to play and then last longer with sleeps.

But, its hard to not give our LOs what THEY want.

Personally, I'd try bump up his solid food intake, if he's still hungry, get him to fill up on food high in carbohydrates (like patas and rice) to fill his tummy, then maybe offer the breast between meals.... I dont know.... I'm not coming from the point of veiw of the experience of a mummy, as my bub is only 3 months old, but I used to work in a nursery. I dont know how to handle night sleeps AT ALL with older children, all I know is from during the day - but, thats just what I think I would do.

As for CIO, with Jasper I give him usually a maximum crying time of 10 minutes, and I know I have to note the time, because it seems like FOREVER. He usually puts himself to sleep in 5 minute of crying and thats okay. I guess the problem with a 6+month old is they can cry for 10 minutes knowing you'll come in after 10 minutes... I know at work we'd let 6month + cry it out for up to 30minutes and older longer, depending on the situation though.... but... its HEAPS harder when its your own bub, its so much easier to do it when there isn't that emotion...

Only do whats within you integrity, but ask yourself if its him or you that your most worried about? If you're genuinely concerned for his welfare letting him CIO dont do it, but if its more that it upsets you and makes you feel guilty to listen to, try having a shower - turning on tv - vaccuming - dishes etc, something so you cant hear it, and then listen out every 10minutes or so.... you'll be supprised how much easier it is that it seems. I'll even jump in the shower in the middle of the night if its upsetting me.

OKay... I just totally babbled on about my own opinion... what it comes down to though is do what you feel comfortable with... the HV is giving advice to make life easier on you more than anything, but if your handling how things are, dont worry too much about changing things... just be aware of the future, because there is no time like the present to change unfavouable habits.

 

[xarlenex]

Chel, yous would let kids CIO for up to 30 mins..!? Do parents know this? Sorry, just shocked me a little. I personally wouldnt like to think my childminder was doing this with Kyle.

As the others said, do what you feels best for your baby! He is over 8 months, and should therefor have a good intake of solids. But if he's happy, healthy and gaining weight on track, I dont see the problem.

 

[KarenLV]

I bought the No cry solution book and will see what it says. Otherwise I have to follow the nurse advise and do CIO.That would be difficult as I know he is very adamant and strongwilled......
I have already increased his solids from today,so I will see tonight.I dont mind increasing the solids,I think it's just the less BF that gets to me.He is always so content when he gets boobie.

 

[marley2580]

You do NOT need to reduce your BFing, all the guidelines say that solids should compliment, not replace milk feeds until the child is one. I did not start deducing Kaya's milk feeds until after her first birthday, even then I would not refuse if she asked (though I would offer food or a drink first).

The thing I like about The No Cry Sleep Solution is that the author makes you look at why you want things to change - is it because you want things to change OR is it because other people are telling you that things need to change? Kaya still comes through to our bed during the night, and many people have told me that it needs to stop, but we enjoy it and it works for us, so why change it? Now that we have another one on the way we are starting to look at what we will need to actually change, but again it's because we want it to change, not because other people are telling us that it needs to change.

Remember that there are other methods than CIO eg. fading away (which we have used successfully)

 

[KarenLV]

Marley,can you explain the fading away method to me?
Thanks for the kind word girls,I feel so much better.I feel I can tackle this and make me and my baby happier.

 

[jax]

This kind of thing makes me so cross - the HV, doctors etc are there for advice and not to dictate how you should bring up your baby. As everyone else has said you know your baby best and you know what he needs. I now take the advice of my HV with a large pinch of salt!
As for the sleeping arrnagements I think the best technique is slowly slowly, perhaps start of in his own room for naps, then gradually move to his night time sleeps. If it gets a tricky there are lots of other strategies other than CIO. https://www.askbaby.com/Baby-sleep-training.htm might be of some use?
Please dont worry too much about what they say, Skyler is your little boy and you know him best - that's why it's called motherly instinct! x

 

[marley2580]

Fading away is when you start by being either in bed with the child, or right beside the cot, so you can settle them easily and they can see you. Over time (dependent on your child) you move further away after putting them down until you can put them down and then walk out of the room. With Kaya, we started in bed with her till she fell asleep, then we would stand beside the bed until she fell asleep, about 2 weeks after that we could stand beside the drawers on the other side of the room and she would go to sleep; about a week after that we would stand beside the door where she could see us. The hardest bit was getting out the door, it's taken about 3/4 weeks but we can now finish her routine and walk out the room.

One thing I would say is that it is vital to have a good bedtime routine that lasts at least 20 mins, as that is what winds them down and gets them tired. Kaya always has her face washed, teeth brushed, nappy changed, jammies on and a couple of stories in bed - then it's a kiss goodnight and lights off. She used to start the routine with a breastfeed, but doesn't need that any more.

 

[reallytinyamy]

I kuch prefer the fading away method- started doing it with Chloe and it does work, as for food, do what you think is best for Skyler, not what some stranger tells you.

 

[ryder]

IMO at almost 9 months he should have enough solids to sleep through... Keep in mind that I have worked in a foster home with children who are not BF and that is the way I am used to seeing things done... So please dont be offended... None of the babies we've had have had the kind of sleep issues I read about on here with bfing and co-sleepers.

At 6months babies are ready to wean and cut back ff and bfing. At this age they still need some vitamins and nutrients from milk. BUT, she also need sufficient amounts of solid foods to thrive of and this does help them sleep better.

Milk is a liquid feed... for a newborn its enough because their digestive tract is so small and immature that liquid is all that is necessary.

By 12 months a baby should be on solids fully and doesn't need formula or BF... By saying that, and going by THOSE guidlines and thoughts, your son has only 3 months to go from still having alot of liquid diet to having enough solids.

You can do what you feel is right.. but those are the facts and reasons behind your doctors opinions. And in a sense, he is right.

I would personally try and slowly wean yourself into giving him more solids and less bfing... at your own pace. But at this point you are bfing more for your own comfort and pleasure then his needs.

At 9 months he doesn't NEED a ton of bm. And if he doesnt get enough solids, and doesnt have a good sleep routine, he will not sleep.

Whatever method you use for getting him to sleep, you need to make sure you stick to it. Children thrive off stability and routine, changing things constantly will only mess them up with sleep routines etc.

 

[ColtonsMom]

I have to agree with ryder.
And the reason is: because I'm in the same situation as you.

When Colton was Skylers age I just did what I felt was right and kept feeding him his bottles. He used to eat a good amount, but then quit and wanted more bottles.
Now, at 11mo he was still on four bottles during the day (and between 4-8oz at night) and not eating hardly anything. I posted a thread about it in the weaning section actually. I cut off one of his bottles four days ago, and I can already tell a difference. Whereas he was picking at his food/throwing it in the floor and then crying for a bottle within 15-30min of "eating", now he is starting to actually eat what we give him at mealtimes + snacks. Even though he does still play in it, alot (ALOT, lol) more makes it into his mouth because he's starting to realize I'm not going to give him his bottle on his demand. (He gets a morning, noon, night)
IDK much about breastfeeding, but I know bottlefeeding by 9mo, general rule (as my doctor said) was 4 bottles/day. Colton was still having atleast 5-6 + night bottles at that time.

 

[marley2580]

What many people don't realise though, is that breastfeeding is not just about the milk. Despite what many people think, antibodies are still in your milk even a year after breastfeeding, it's why you might come down with the cold but your LO doesn't get it. There is also an important comforting aspect to breastfeeding, you can fix any problem and soothe any hurt just by nursing your child.

I don't think it's fair to say that Karen is mainly doing it for her own comfort, this simply is not true for a breast fed baby, he needs it for his comfort as well - and surely it's important to see to all his needs, not just the nutritional ones. They're breast fed for such a short time as it is, make the most of it while you can, before too long he'll be too busy to feed and you'll find yourself missing it.

 

[Serene123]

Wow... is all I have to say about some of these replies.

I can only speak for Caitlyn, and not all breastfeeding babies, but my breast is her comfort and it is VERY hard to take your babies comfort away. Babies don't actually need solids for 12 months.

 

[Samantha675]

Karen, do what you want to do, F that HV. My doctor said the same thing, and I refuse. You can totally BF until 12 months. Brennan is not interested in solids, I keep trying different items, and he throws them in the floor. He loves his booby and I have decided that in a few short months I will have to get him on solids, but until then I plan to enjoy BFing full time. As for as CIO, that is not the HVs call, it is yours. I also refuse to use this method, even when told to do so by Brenn's doctor. I find it a cruel way to get baby to sleep. I have given myself up to his sleep and his waking in the night, and when I stopped fighting it, it is getting better. Last night he slept for 4 1/2 hour straight, the longest he has slept in a very long time. I am so happy. It has finally started getting better. I have come to the conclusion that I will do things on my and my baby's timetable, NO one else and I realy don't care what anyone else thinks. I have never heard of a teenager who still BFs and co-sleeps.