Too young?

[carmenR]

Hello all,
I am 19 and just a little over a month pregnant. I found out quite immediatly so my boyfriend and I have had a wee bit of time to talk it over. Thus far, we have decided we will keep the baby which absolutely thrills me, but sometimes I become fearfully doubtful in my abilities to be a good mother.
This pregnancy wasn't planned what so ever, we have only known each other 4 months (Gulp!!) and we aren't exactly financially stable.
I guess what I'm trying to ask here is, is this a totally insane idea to keep the baby? I mean romantically speaking this idea is lovely, and my bf and I get really excited talking about it .. but then reality sets in and we think .. Oh lord, how are we going to do this?
Are we totally mad? Or is this possible ...... ?
Any advice?

Thanks x


https://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt/d/1;10053;102/st/20081018/dt/-3/k/5a8e/preg.png

 

[faith_may]

I think you are doing the best thing by keeping your baby, yes I think you are young, but I also think that you already are an amazing mother. If you need to talk let me know.

 

[ColtonsMom]

Dont worry! It gets better!! Oh wait.... no it doesn't!
You are going to worry about everything.. for the next nine months! and then for the next 18 years after that! and then you are going to continue worrying until you are old.
It is completely normal.
I think you made a great decision to keep your LO though.
Good luck!

 

[carmenR]

Haha, thanks for the uplifting messages!
A whole life of worrying ... Fabulous!
Lets just hope there are some rewarding steps along the way .....
Thank you very much though ..
It's terrifying but I think I can do this ...

 

[Xbryoni&bumpX]

I think you are choosing well, u answerd it urself, by keeping the baby u made hat choice, and that is a hard choice to make, im 19 and this is my frist, and i feel just as worried as u r and all the mums 2 b r aswell, it will all make sence when ur holding ur baby in ur arms xxxx

 

[anita665]

I think everyone is different and 19 would be too young for some but not for others.

Even though you've only been together for 4 months, your BF must really care & thats a great enviroment for a child. Most guys don't have that kind of reaction in that situation. Even my OH being 32 at the time and telling me he wanted kids with me then freaked out when I got pregnant!!

As for money, loads of people feel they can't manage but you'll find a way. Again, myself and OH had good jobs and a good income so felt it was a great time to have a baby and about a month after I became pregnant we both lost our jobs. You never know whats going to happen in the future and you can't let that stop you.

 

[leeanne]

Congratulations and I am so proud of you that you are keeping your baby! There will be times when it can be tough, but the rewards far outweigh them
Your baby will be the bright star of your life!

 

[xclairex]

u are making the right decision and it is down to u! congrats if u need to talk we are all here

 

[xCherylx]

I'm also 19 and found I was pregnant when I was around 3-4 weeks. I was SO shocked as me and my bf had only discussed having children in the future when we had our own house etc. But we knew we couldn't get rid of this baby as we know even though at times it would be hard and scary that we could make it work.
Everyone has doubts and fears hun, no matter the age

 

[carmenR]

Thanks ladies, I feel MUCH better.
xxx

 

[JaysMum+Bump]

Hi hun
I think everyone worries about the idea of having a baby, but once the babys here youll think what on earth did i do before him/her?! They totally take u in and there where we stay for life - under their thumbs hee hee! As for your age well im 19 and expecting my 2nd! I have a son whos just turned 2 and am 5 weeks 5 days pregnant so i have no worries that youll cope with 1 trust me! Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy and enjoy it, so many ppl say this to you and ur like yes yes whatever im getting very fed up and just want this baby now but once uve given birth ull want ur bump back! hee hee So enjoy it whilst u can! danni (19) mumma to Jaycob (2) and lil bumpy xxx

 

[Jenelle]

Leeanne couldnt have put it better, as far as I am concerned I too was 19 when I got pregnant with my first and yes it is scary at first, and deffinetly is life changing, but I feel that it changed my life for the better, and would not give up my son for the World....Congrats!!

 

[x-amy-x]

Congratulations on ur baby!

I'm 19 and 22 + 5 pregnant. My partner and i have been together for almost 4 years now. We can't wait to meet our little one. I couldn't have given my baby up, i'm too maternal for that.

Being young doesn't make being a mother any harder, in my opinion. It's all about whether you want to make it work. I'm sure you will make great parents and it's so exciting being pregnant!

Talk to your partner about all your worries and problems, to make him feel involved. My partner never asks me about my pregnancy because he doesn't know what to say!

I hope everything goes well for you and you're not getting morning sickness too badly. Again, CONGRATS!

 

[baby.girl]

Hello all,
I am 19 and just a little over a month pregnant. I found out quite immediatly so my boyfriend and I have had a wee bit of time to talk it over. Thus far, we have decided we will keep the baby which absolutely thrills me, but sometimes I become fearfully doubtful in my abilities to be a good mother.
This pregnancy wasn't planned what so ever, we have only known each other 4 months (Gulp!!) and we aren't exactly financially stable.
I guess what I'm trying to ask here is, is this a totally insane idea to keep the baby? I mean romantically speaking this idea is lovely, and my bf and I get really excited talking about it .. but then reality sets in and we think .. Oh lord, how are we going to do this?
Are we totally mad? Or is this possible ...... ?
Any advice?

Thanks x


https://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt/d/1;10053;102/st/20081018/dt/-3/k/5a8e/preg.png

I'm sure everyone here (myself included) will tell you it is possible. Everyone on this forum are such supportive people, so you couldn't have gone to a better place ...

If anyone ever tries to tell you its not possible, walk away. Almost anything is possible. I know that sounds a bit cheesy, but it's true. As long as you have the heart, you can do it. Congratulations.

And yeah, it will most definately be hard. I'm 19 as well, my boyfriend is 20. We aren't the most wealthiest people around and are still determined. You'll get through it, and in the mean time of trying to get through it, you'll have a gorgeous lively baby crawling around

 

[Tam]

Anything is possible! And as hard as it may feel or get, it is all worth it in the end!

Good Luck hun! x

 

[lily24]

Im in the same situation as the lady who started this thread..

Im 19 as well, and just found out 2 nights ago that im expecting my first baby. My boyfriend and i have been together for 7 months and this is very unexpected! We are both still very shocked and confused as to what we want to do. I dont want to be judged and frowed upon as another girl 'who's to young and silly'
We are both in very stable well paid jobs so money isnt this issue. We just arent sure if we are ready. Im finding it very hard to even think about aborting the baby, i think its wrong and would really cut me up.

When do you think it will 'set in' so to speak? Im thinking about asking my parents for advise but dont know if this is the right move...

 

[TashaAndBump]

It's definately possible - enough of us manage to pull it off!

It's good that you're thinking realistically about your responsibilities and the practicalities of being a teenage mum. While I wouldn't have reccomended TTC in your sitation, the decision now is not regarding whether to make a baby or not, but revolves around a baby that is already in existance, and growing inside of you...

If you have made the decision to keep the baby, congratulations! The next step has to be thinking about how and getting ready... If you are unemployed or on a low income, you will be entitled to a maternity grant, income support, housing benefit and child tax credits... Is your partner working / looking for work? Or are you planning on staying in education?

It's difficult to offer you any practical advice on how it is possible, but there are many options open to you, and I assure you that keeping the baby is a very real possibility.

Like I say, you need to think about what you're going to do and start gettin ready... It's okay to get excited, and very good that you're thinking about all aspects of parenthood.

Good luck!

 

[Lauren_16]

It is completley possible
You three will be fine, honestly
I'm 16, I was only with the father for about 3 months, and were going to try and give this one hell of a bash
Good Luck and Congratulations =D

xx

 

[lily24]

Well.. I have to say this site is very good and all the ladies are great advice wise

Spoke to my prtner again last night and he is still confused as to whethere we are ready for such a comitment. So it makes me more confused!!

My mum is delighted that we are expecting and made me feel great about everything, but his mum wasnt so happy.. It doesnt bother me but she has filled his head and put him off a little bit.

Im very confused, i thought i would be delighted when the day came i found out i was pregnant but im all over the place

 

[TashaAndBump]

It's very good that your mother is so supportive. If you want to keep the baby don't let anyone pressure you otherwise... Trust me, it's a shock finding out you're going to be a parent, but your OH will get used to the idea by the time baby gets here (probably by the time of your first scan, actually) and everything will be just fine in the end. Don't believe for an instant that there is any reason why other people can be a good mum and you can't! Anyone can do it when they put their minds to it.

So the thing to do, is make the decision, and then let your partner come round to it. In the meantime you have the support of your family - ignore the lack of support you get from other people until they realise it's happening anyway and start to pull their fingers our their arses and jump on the supportive bandwagon! It will probs be easier for your partner once the decision has been made one way or the other for certain, as then he can start getting used to it and think about his future in certain terms. If you do decide to keep the baby, it won't be long before you're excited beyond containment, and you have all of us girls here on the forum to share each and every step with