Totally o/t but what would you do?

[Buffy71]

A friend who moved abroad recently visited - I hadn't seen her in over ten years, but we used to be close. It was great to see her and as though it had only been days, rather than years.

Anyway, as I drove home after visiting her, I realised I'd forgotten my sunnies, so called to say I was on my way back. She came out to the car, handed me a pair of sunglasses which I just popped on my head and drive home.

When I got home she had left a message saying she had given me hers not mine so could we swap when we met up later that week. Doh! No problem.

I took hers when I went to her parents house and returned them - she then hunted for mine as I was leaving later, but couldn't find them so with H getting sleepy I said don't worry pop them in the post or I can collect from the parents home next time I'm seeing my parents ( they live quite near).

Time went by - I knew they had returned home (the US) so I emailed to say hi and to see if my sunglasses had turned up. She said somehow they had been lost but she had chosen a new pair for me and they were in the post.

I recieved the glasses - they are fakes. I'd rather have just had an apology and no glasses than the slightly insulting assumption that I wouldn't know the difference. I'm not shallow - I would happily wear cheap sunnies but I don't like fakes and it's actually the principle of the thing!

I'm not sure what to say to her. I don't want to ruin a long friendship over something trivial but by the same token I feel she is taking the p a bit. Odd position. What would you do?

 

[Emz1982_in_uk]

Oh wow. That's a toughie! I'd be pretty pi$$ed but are you sure she KNEW she was buying fakes. Could have been an honest mistake and there are so many rogue traders out there.

I would probably write a very nice e mail saying that I appreciated the sentiment etc etc and ask her if she realised the sunny g's were fake?!

Mmmmmmm Good luck

 

[Pessimistic]

Hmmmmm... I don't want to be negative, but it kind of sounds like she took your sunglasses for herself or to sell? I sound awful saying it... but that being said, could have been an honest mistake... I would be pissed tbh. I'd tell her they are fake, but again it is awkward as she did send you a new pair. Were your others real designer? If so I would definetly mention they are fakes.

 

[twinklestar]

how annoying!!

were her glasses designer? if not and they were fakes, maybe she thought yours were too and just picked you up a pair

id have to say something myself esp as your will have cost you alot

hmmm not sure how id word it though.... v tough

sorry ive not been any help, i hope you sort it out

x

 

[pip holder]

Eek awkward much

I think I'd tend to chalk it up to bad luck and let it go as you know how non face to face conflict can spiral out of control and you sound like you don't want to lose her friendship over it.... BUT, you could also send an airy email saying how lucky they are to get such 'good' fakes over there as they are nearly as good as your original glasses etc

Best of luck

 

[Buffy71]

Thanks girls. Yes mine were D&G - birthday pressie from hubby when he took me to New York with some friends, so also a reminder of a great weekend.

Hers were Raybans - real ones and she knew mine were real as she said "someone is wandering round $400 better off for sunglasses in London (where she thinks she lost them out of the pushchair on a day trip). I'm sure she wouldn't take them, and believe she innocentlY lost them. I do believe she knows they're fake as on the sticker on the envelope where you have to put value she wrote $30 - when I saw that I thought she had probably just done it for import duty purposes but when I opened the jiffy pack it was pretty clear.

I honestly would just rather have had an apology - these things happen you know. I also know they have money so that wouldn't even have been the problem.

And it's not the money it's the principle.

I wanted to just leave it but it's irritated me a bit. I'd never do that - I'd just bite the bullet and replace like for like.

Actually it's not even about sunglasses, it's that I put hers safely in my glasses box to make sure they were safe whereas she wore mine (which in itself is fine!) and didn't take care of them. I think that's my issue.

Oh well - Pip I think you're right and I'll just have to suck it up and get over it.

Will say the fakes in the States are good aren't they, but can you ask your mum to jeep an eye out and if mine turn up in the house somewhere let me know as I'd like those back they were chuffing expensive!

Xx

 

[twinklestar]

Will say the fakes in the States are good aren't they, but can you ask your mum to jeep an eye out and if mine turn up in the house somewhere let me know as I'd like those back they were chuffing expensive!

Xx

i think thats perfect

gutting that your are lost though, i bet that will keep annoying you for a long time yet, i HATE loseing stuff, even worse that it wasnt you that lost them

 

[XcupcakeX]

Oh gosh, very annoying! I would be very nervous walking round London is somebody elses $400 sunglasses, she shouldnt reeally have worn them...it is an insult to think you either wouldnt notice they were fakes or wouldnt be bothered! I would have to say something...i hope you sort it out

 

[MissBroody]

Gosh that's annoying. I wouldn't fall out with her over it but say something like ''Thanks for replacing my sunnies - copies these days are so convincing, no one would know! But if my others do turn up please can you let me know, bit of a pricey gift from hubby when we went to New York!!'' or something along those lines
xx

 

[_Vicky_]

Will say the fakes in the States are good aren't they, but can you ask your mum to jeep an eye out and if mine turn up in the house somewhere let me know as I'd like those back they were chuffing expensive!

Xx

i think thats perfect

gutting that your are lost though, i bet that will keep annoying you for a long time yet, i HATE loseing stuff, even worse that it wasnt you that lost them

oohh like that too

 

[Blaumba]

It is a tricky one. I'd probably say just straight and casual "Oh yeah I got the sunnies" "Did you know they were fakes??".. see what her reaction is. She'll either openly admit to getting you fakes, or she'll say she had no idea. If it's the latter answer you'll have to judge for yourself weather it was a genuine mistake on her part or whether that, as well as a cheapskate she's also a liar.

 

[WW1]

I'm not sure I'd say anything to be honest. These sorts of conversations are always difficult when not face to face as they can so often be misconstrued and get out of hand.

I'd think about it like this: will you still be annoyed about it in 1 hour? 1 day? 1 year? If the answer is yes to all then it's probably worth saying something but if you don't think it'll bother you in 1 year then I'd take a deep breath and let it go. After all, old valued friendships don't grow on trees.

It's a tricky one though

 

[Buffy71]

I'll definitely be annoyed in one hour - one month - probably totally over it as I will buy myself a new pair (good job I went back to work! Lol).

I got an email from her this evening asking how my first week back at work went - much more important that she remembered that and knew I'd be feeling pooh about leaving Hattie than some silly sunnies.

Am going to let it go. Deeeeep breath!

Thank you all of you for bothering to read this post and for giving me great advice and views. You're all fab.

Group xxx

 

[WW1]

I'll definitely be annoyed in one hour - one month - probably totally over it as I will buy myself a new pair (good job I went back to work! Lol).

I got an email from her this evening asking how my first week back at work went - much more important that she remembered that and knew I'd be feeling pooh about leaving Hattie than some silly sunnies.

Am going to let it go. Deeeeep breath!

Thank you all of you for bothering to read this post and for giving me great advice and views. You're all fab.

Group xxx

right back at ya!!

 

[Jchihuahua]

I would be upset about it. Nothing to do with the sunglasses themselves but the fact that a friend hadn't been straight about it. I think if it was me I would have to say something. I wouldn't be confrontational at all but I think I would have to say something, even if it was just to ask where she bought the sunglasses and leave it at that. Because then she would know that I know and it might stop her from doing something like that ever again .