TRASH it..

[Shelby2007]

Okay ladies.. Ive been noticing on here.. of things people are saying to us.. that ABSOLUTELY we do NOT need to be hearing..

So this thread is for us to GET RID of that TRASH they are telling us!!

Here I go..

**You are lucky it was early on.. ((GRR.. it still hurts.. they were my babies)) - (even though it hurts.. I cant imagine what some of you are going through with it being later in the pregnancy)
**It wasn't meant to be
**Better luck next time
**It wont happen again
**Good things come to those who wait
And my prize goes to my sister in law.. who has a 3 months old baby boy..
**I LOVE being pregnant.. I cant wait to be pregnant again.. not to have a baby.. but just because i loved being pregnant.. - she also tells me often.. how much she just looves being a mommy..

Okay.. i TRASHED it.. got that off my chest.. Im moving on.. to a more positive side.

Hope this helps girlies.

Shelbs

 

[JASMAK]

I really don't like "everything happens for a reason". I know the reason = I have recurrent m/c and I have unexplained infertility. I don't work. I am fk'd up. That is the reason. But, people always say it so chipper, like they are being positively philosophical. Shut up! I don't want to hear your optomistic view on my personal issue.

 

[Las78]

I had "It (IT is my baby actually) may have looked perfect but there must have been something wrong with it. This was from my mother, needless to say I have a lot less love for the woman now!

 

[jacky24]

Nice thread....

SIL best sayings to me....
* what do you know about babies
* your not a mother what would you know
* i am so blessed to have a healthy and beautiful baby
* i might be expecting my second before it happens for you again
* some people just deserve to have kids....

Lets just say what goes around comes around.... Her day will come.... as i will never go as low as she has went.... ever......

* NOTE FULL TERM STILLBIRTH*

 

[Pyrrhic]

Nice thread....

SIL best sayings to me....
* what do you know about babies
* your not a mother what would you know
* i am so blessed to have a healthy and beautiful baby
* i might be expecting my second before it happens for you again
* some people just deserve to have kids....

Lets just say what goes around comes around.... Her day will come.... as i will never go as low as she has went.... ever......

* NOTE FULL TERM STILLBIRTH*

That is disgusting behaviour. I don't know how you didn't just smack her. How utterly thoughtless and horrible. I'm sure karma will catch up with her

 

[jacky24]

Nice thread....

SIL best sayings to me....
* what do you know about babies
* your not a mother what would you know
* i am so blessed to have a healthy and beautiful baby
* i might be expecting my second before it happens for you again
* some people just deserve to have kids....

Lets just say what goes around comes around.... Her day will come.... as i will never go as low as she has went.... ever......

* NOTE FULL TERM STILLBIRTH*

That is disgusting behaviour. I don't know how you didn't just smack her. How utterly thoughtless and horrible. I'm sure karma will catch up with her

Thanks hun, but she even does it infront of MIL so they don't really care about my feelings.... But i am a strong believer in karma....
I may not have a baby but i do have a loving husband and a happy marraige something she doesn't have... so i am blessed still in many ways....

 

[Shazzy]

jacky24 Omg i cant believe she said that to you! Can i smack her for you?????

ok my turn...

"It was for the best" really its better having a mc than a healthy preg???

"You rush into the pregnancy to fast after your last mc" so.. the doctor giving me the all clear was a bunch of hogwash then, hell he only studied 7 years!!!

My personal best is i get email clippings on what vits to take to have a healthy preg, duh.....like im not on everything!

 

[ellie]

aarghhhh .....
I wish people didn't feel such a need to spout platitudes.
How about then things like 'oh my sister/friend/whoever had 5 (or insert number of choice according to rumours heard) miscarriages so you will be okay'
oh jacky24 i am so sorry you have to hear such insensitive and selfish crap! You will make a much better mum than her and you'll have your chance to prove it soon ...

 

[charveyron]

My Aunty told me on the same day as my MC - that "It was just a bad seed!" No IT wasn't IT was my baby!

 

[RobenR]

*It just wasn't meant to be this time* - IT was my daughter and to me she was perfect.
*Next time will be perfect*
*It was probably the mother since there was a problem with the X chromosome* -guilt table of one!
*I'm so happy to be pregnant. Pity you can't feel that too.*

 

[ellie]

how do people respond to these things???
I wish i had the courage to shout and tell them how awful what they are saying is, I usually just go off and cry and try not to think nasty thoughts about them...

but in the meantime I will help you all stick all these stupid comments in the bin where they belong! along with ones like:
"You have to think that this baby was never meant to be born"
"You do not need to cry, if you are feeling depressed go and eat some cardomom seeds"
(from a counsellor I saw ... needless to say I never went back)

"it was the fetus's karma and they did not have enough good karma from a previous life to be reborn again, so they probably took a lower rebirth as an animal instead" (from a meditation teacher)
and
"Well you would not have had time for a baby anyway you are too busy with your lives"

 

[jacky24]

It was believed that my son could have maby had some brain damage, and some people told me....
* your actually beter off with how it happened as i doubt you would have coped with an ill baby*

I would have loved my child brain dead or a bit slow no matter what.....

 

[v2007]

On the day i found out my daughter had died, *full term stillborn* i was on the way home fromt he hospital having decided that i would wait at home for labour to start, my sister called me and said

'Are you gonna have another??''

The stoopid bitch. I was still pregnant and she was asking bout me having another ASAP.

I tried to explain that you cant replace a baby with another baby, but she lives in a world where she even said herself if one of her kids died she would have another straight away. Each to their own, but to ask this to someone hasnt even given birth to thier Angel is shocking!!!!

Sorry for rambling.

V xxx

 

[Shelby2007]

jacky and v2007 - Im so sorry your family are IDIOTS!

Those are TERRIBLE things to tell people. Gr. I also hate *IT*.. even though I didnt know what I was having.. I was only 9 weeks..

My SIL also likes to tell me about how lucky she was to have a healthy pregnancy.. and how beautiful her baby is..

 

[Vickie]

Some people are just horrible I can't believe you all get those comments

 

[FEDup1981]

to all u ladies, i hope im never insensitive to your situations x

 

[Shelby2007]

How about then things like 'oh my sister/friend/whoever had 5 (or insert number of choice according to rumours heard) miscarriages so you will be okay'

I get this alot too.. oh you've just had ONE mc.. my friend/sister has had 5 and they went on to have at least one healthy pregnancy. (GR!)

My Mother In Law.. also told us.. the day we found out the babies didnt have a heart beat.. that we needed to get a second opinion.. WHY would I put myself through that AGAIN.. I didnt see the heart beat either... or the babies moving.. She just didnt not want to accept that something had happend.

Oh - my MIL also told us.. that her Mom.. (who had 12 kids!) had one miscarriage. Im like are you serious! - this was my first pregnancy.. the lady had 12 kids!!!!

Okay - trashed - and I dont know what happened with the QUOTE thing.. it messed up

 

[Rebaby]

What amazes me is that some of the most insensitive comments come from people who are normally supportive and caring...it's almost like they don't know what to say so they come up with something, anything, and it's the worst thing they could possibly have said...

Like:

"It obviously wasn't meant to be"

"I'm sure it will be alright" (this in response to me admitting i'm petrified of having another mc in the future)

"Maybe it wasn't the best timing" (don't you just love how other people know what is best for your and your OH?! We stopped using protection in Jan and were pregnant in feb, and very happy- sounds like bloody perfect timing to me!) And along the same lines "At least this gives you chance to sort yourself out" (We're planning to move house in the summer...like that has anything to do with anything?!)

Also since having my mc (bearing in mind i only started to mc last fri and haven't seen or spoken to many people since) i have been asked about- what i plan to do with our pets when we have a baby (we have a dog and cat), whether i was intending to breast feed or not, and had i thought about pain relief in labour?!?!

 

[Shelby2007]

It was believed that my son could have maby had some brain damage, and some people told me....
* your actually beter off with how it happened as i doubt you would have coped with an ill baby*

I would have loved my child brain dead or a bit slow no matter what.....

I cant believe anyone would ever say anything like that.. That is soo terrible.

 

[jo_79]

when my little girl died at 29 weeks not even a week passed afterwards and someone said "oh dont worry you can have more, these things usually mean twins next"

i just glared and felt like punching her lights out, we were at my mums 50th party and i didnt want to make a fuss so let it go.

i didnt want more at that point i just wanted my baby then.

some people really aint got a f*cking clue! id rather they kept their mouths shut if they cant say anything nice.