Trouble in paradise city.

[CSweets]

Well before I begin I just have to say that I am new to this and I totally have never heard of any of the appreviations you guys use so when I read the forums I'm lost at what everyone is saying. Can someone clue me in on what everything means?



Now. This really doesn't have much to do with pregnancy but it kind of does. My bf is the sweetest guy ever and he does anything and everything for me. He is there at all the doctor's appointments and when I'm puking my brains out cuz of morning sickness he rubs my back and gets me water and crackers and tells me to go to bed and rest. We even used to work together and he would work my shifts if I felt sick. He does everything for me and he's excited to have a kid and everything but there's one (or two) small little problems.

1. I'm on the verge of scoliosis and my back normally hurts but being on the verge of it AND being pregnant it almost seems as though my back hurts all the time it even hurts when I wake up. But my guy never ever massages my back or my feet or anywhere that's sore for me. He works at a methane rig so he comes home tired and sore everyday so when he asks for me to massage his back and stuff I do it but my back hurts to and my feet hurt to and I never get anything in return even when I ask I just wish he would do it once in a while.How can I get him to do that for me?

2. He never seems like he's interested much in baby. Like when I buy clothes or show him ultrasounds or talk about baby he doesn't ever show any emotion or show that he's interested and it just worries me that he's gonna be like that when baby is born. He says he doesn't ever show emotion but that doesn't mean he isn't excited on the inside but I've seen him excited over other things so I don't know.

What is everyone's input on this?

 

[LoolaBear]

hi :wave: and welcome to BnB.

firstly the massage thing - i had this last time and it really bugged me, i too have slight scoliosis and evne when not pregnant i get back ache really easily. as OH (other half) isnt one for massages i used to just treat myself instead. a really long soak in a nice hot bath with vanilla scented candles and lavender bath oils with no lights on really helps me to relax and really takes the pain away from my back. also ive got one of those little vibrating hand held massagers that ive tied to a stick so i run that all over my back and works wonders. feet soak them in a bowl of nice warm water with stones of all shapes and sizes in the bottom, the water will relax your feet and the stones if you move your feet about in them will massage them. works wonders for me and its cheap and cheerful if money is a problem.

secondly - dont worry if he doesnt show that much emotion about baby now. it is a well known fact that dads to be find it hard to connect to the baby whilst a woman is still pregnant. we're lucky in the sense that we are the ones carrying baby so can bond straight away but dads dont get to bond properly until they can hold their baby so tend to hold back. try to get him involved a bit more like talking to bump, stroking bump, singing to bump. ask his opinion on everything, even if he doesnt put any in put in at least he will feel involved. it is very common for the male species not to show that much emotion towards bubs though whilst still pregnant as theyve got nothing to see, feel, hear so cant connect and bond very well. i bet the tears will flow when he gets to hold his beautiful baby for the first time. my OH was streaming when he got to hold the twins for the first time but wasnt really that bothered before they were born as he had nothing there to bond with. he wasnt even bothered by names until they were born either as he wanted to choose names that would suit them.

just try and hold out a bit hun. he will come round eventually, its just men for you! xx

 

[CSweets]

Thanks a bunch that does help

 

[rjb]

fob- fother of baby
oh- other half
lo- little one

those are the main ones. when i was new here there was someone who posted a link to the terms, but i don't remember it! sorry!

 

[Eabha'sMum]

https://www.babyandbump.com/forum-help-testing-area/730-babyandbump-lingo-abbreviations.html

thats that link xx

 

[SarahhhLouise]

hi hun, my boyfriends the same with the massages, i ask him to massage my feet and he does it for 5 mins, same with my back. but he wants me to massage his head, hands, ankles etc. Also hes the same when it comes to the baby, he doesnt want to talk to much about it. but i think its because he doesnt connect with baby too much yet, hes more excited for the scan sorta thing. i hope it gets better hun. He soudns liek a good boyfriend though xx

 

[CSweets]

Thanks he really is and ill know he'll be there for me always

 

[pinkribbon]

I think a lot of Dads find it harder to connect with a baby while you're pregnant. It's different for women because we sort of bond straight away, whereas most Dads only really feel involved when the baby is born, or they can feel the baby. I wouldn't worry. I'm trying not to