- Joined
- Mar 3, 2011
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So here's the story...I'm currently 10+1wks pg with my 2nd baby, but I've had 4 prior m/c and I was just diagnosed with a subchorionic hematoma. I'm nervous but hopeful that this baby will make it 40wks. My doc is optimistic because the hematoma is small and I've always m/c between 6-9 weeks. I've always told my in-laws as soon as I find out I'm pg because we are self-employed at the same business and I want them to know in case something happens while we are at work. They are always excited, even though I've had problems staying pg. I hold off telling my family until I'm at least 9-10wks because of my history of m/c. I just told my mom and younger sis last week that I am pg again. My mom said, "I won't believe it until the baby is FINALLY here." Then I got a lecture yesterday from my younger sis about not telling her or my mom that I am pg in the future until I'm 6 months along so THEY don't have to worry! Okay, I get that you are worried about me and my baby, but things (aside from the hematoma) are going great this time!
Now my mom freaks out if I sound even the slightest bit strange on the phone. My sis says she hates talking to me because she is certain I'm gonna tell her I lost the baby. What gets me the most is that my sis had 4 kids in 4 years and has had problem pregnancies with 3 of the 4 (improperly draining kidneys, low amniotic fluid, a thyroid growth). I listened and was there for her. Just let her talk. Yet, when I need her to do the same, it doesn't happen. My mom isn't any better. She gets so excited for my sis (who's had a m/c, too) announces she's pg at 5 wks, but I get chewed out for telling her too soon! They both lecture me on what I should be doing (bed rest, leave of absence from work, etc.) even though I tell them my regular doctor and my OB BOTH said I could continue with my daily activities but to make sure I don't stand for too long. I've also been told I dwell on my m/c even though I don't EVER talk about them in front of my mom or my sis! According to my sis, they gripe about me and my fertility issues a few times a week.
Sorry to be so negative, but I can't get through a week without one person or the other bringing up something about my pregnancies and I just needed to vent. I'm ready to just quit talking to them altogether if this keeps up. I get so stressed out after a conversation with either of them that it takes a half hour to calm down! DH says to let it go but it's easier said than done. Any suggestions on how to deal with my mom and sis? I tried telling them that I only want them to listen and support me, but it didn't work.
Now my mom freaks out if I sound even the slightest bit strange on the phone. My sis says she hates talking to me because she is certain I'm gonna tell her I lost the baby. What gets me the most is that my sis had 4 kids in 4 years and has had problem pregnancies with 3 of the 4 (improperly draining kidneys, low amniotic fluid, a thyroid growth). I listened and was there for her. Just let her talk. Yet, when I need her to do the same, it doesn't happen. My mom isn't any better. She gets so excited for my sis (who's had a m/c, too) announces she's pg at 5 wks, but I get chewed out for telling her too soon! They both lecture me on what I should be doing (bed rest, leave of absence from work, etc.) even though I tell them my regular doctor and my OB BOTH said I could continue with my daily activities but to make sure I don't stand for too long. I've also been told I dwell on my m/c even though I don't EVER talk about them in front of my mom or my sis! According to my sis, they gripe about me and my fertility issues a few times a week.
Sorry to be so negative, but I can't get through a week without one person or the other bringing up something about my pregnancies and I just needed to vent. I'm ready to just quit talking to them altogether if this keeps up. I get so stressed out after a conversation with either of them that it takes a half hour to calm down! DH says to let it go but it's easier said than done. Any suggestions on how to deal with my mom and sis? I tried telling them that I only want them to listen and support me, but it didn't work.