Trying to decide if I should leave my daughters dad

[DreasMommy]

My boyfriend and I were only together a short while when we found out I was pregnant with our daughter. When i was five months, we decided that we would move in together and see how things would go. Everything was good until a month before I gave birth. We started fighting over stupid stuff, like me driving my mom places because she doesnt have a license and is afraid to drive since she was in a bad car accident. And then after having my beautiful little girl, things were okay for a week. But now my daughter is eight weeks and we've been fighting nonstop. Every time my mom needs to go shopping, I ask her dad of he'll watch her while I go and he always says no, that he had stuff to do. But every time I come home, nothing has been done and he's playing his video game. Last night was the first time that I went to do something without the baby. My sister had invited me to the movies and i took my mom grocery shopping and my daughter stayed with her dad. For the time of the movie he weren't to his mom's house. When we got out of the movie i called him to let him know i was dropping my sister off and then picking my mom and leaving to the store and he said he was heading home. As soon as i got to the store with my mom, my phone died. I spent an hour At the store with my mom and i guess the whole time we were there the baby cried. And when i got home he was telling me i was a horrible person for just leaving her with him and that im never there for him when he needs me. So once he was done yelling at me i just walked away. So he chased after me demanding if we were still together or if we were done. So now i dont know. Im supposed to be getting a job soon, so obviously i cant depend him to watch her if im working eight hours and hes never willing to watch her. But i dont just want to give up because we have a daughter together and i would hate for her to not have both of parents but i dont want us to be fighting all the time around her. So im just confused.

 

[Dezireey]

He seems to be behaving like a babysitter not a father!?!

Its not a 'job' that he is being paid for hun, its his responsibility too to look after his child. I mean, in an ideal world, fathers who stay with their kids help out as much as they can and fathers who don't stay with their kids at least help out financially. Whichever way its looked at, you make a baby, then you should be responsible for that baby. Spell that out to him.

As far as the arguing , then its doesn't look rosy does it? I agree, its not nice for a kid to grow up with parents arguing, in fact, its way more detrimental than an absent father. Having said that, what about couples counselling? taking a break from each other?

Unlike a normal relationship (where I would say to you, leave him - there is no point), when there is a child involved, I think parents should exhaust all methods of patching things up and making things work before they call it a day. Just give yourself a time frame, have a really good heart to heart with him about it all and then go from there.

Only you know in your heart what you must do. If you think you can make it work, then give it a go but if he is making you very, very unhappy, its time to call it quits.

 

[Dream.dream]

You don't need to be in a relationship for your child to have both parents. A lot of parent co parent children really we'll, tbh you don't sound happy and he doesn't sound like he's a very supportive partner

You need to sit down with dad and have a talk. He needs to step up and start acting like a dad or I would go. Some Counselling might benefit you guys as it seems you didn't have a lot of time to work on your relationship before you became a family

I wouldn't give up yet, sounds like you guys need to do some work on communication , responsibilities and compromise ,

 

[moomin_troll]

If he's as much of an arsehole as he sounds and ur not happy I wouldn't keep him around. He's a parent, looking after his own child isn't a favor, it's his job!

But just because we are single mothers doesn't mean we can advise u on if u should leave ur oh or not.
We aren't all here by our own choice

 

[teal]

If he's as much of an arsehole as he sounds and ur not happy I wouldn't keep him around. He's a parent, looking after his own child isn't a favor, it's his job!

But just because we are single mothers doesn't mean we can advise u on if u should leave ur oh or not.
We aren't all here by our own choice

Agreed. I always feel it would be more appropriate to have these kind of threads in the relationships section.

 

[daneuse27]

You refer to this man as "my daughter's dad" which sounds like you don't really deep down see him as a significant other. Ask yourself why you moved in with him, and what makes you think that your relationship has a future. Are you happy with him, can you see yourself growing old with him?

All I can say is, your daughter is not going to benefit from you forcing an unhappy, unhealthy relationship.