Trying to find a balance - help......

[MissJayde]

I am trying to find a balance with my ex. We have two children together, one girl 3yo, and one boy 17 weeks. I left my ex before I knew I was pregnant with my lil man. We have a shared care arrangement with my daughter which works well, but now my ex is demanding shared care of my son. I exclusively breastfeed him and know he is not able to take him overnight while this happens. But does anyone know of similar situations and might be able to enlighten me on what might happen if this is pushed to court. I have heard that as we were not officially "together" when I found out I was pregnant, and because he had nothing to do what so ever with the pregnancy (costs or support wise) that the ball is in my court and I do get the bigger say. But I am not sure I want to push this as my kids health and well being are more important.
I have not stopped the ex from having contact with either child and have actively encouraged him to form a bond with his son. I am also not so sure he is the one pushing the need to have contact with his son, I think this is his girlfriend who is driving this.
Any comments or suggestions would be great as this is doing my head in right now!

 

[Ceejay123]

Hey sweetie. They will encourage him to have small but frequent contact bursts with the baby. He won't get him overnight while you're breastfeeding... Although they may ask you to express so he can take him for longer periods. Maybe you could ask in court whether contact with the LO could be supervised with you for a couple of months, just while LO gets used to him. A court wouldn't expect you to give your baby away overnight. x

 

[MissJayde]

Thank you Ceejay123, he has been seeing him for an hour a week (supervised) since he was 6 weeks old. I have tried him on a bottle but he won't take one (I couldn't even use nipple shields when I had torn nipples).
I guess I just wish I knew if the courts were honestly sending babies to the other parent overnight when it is proven to be detrimental to their mental development

 

[Ceejay123]

They wouldn't do it sweetie.. Well, Not from what i've been told. My OH went to court for access to his eldest. His solicitor asked what contact he'd like to ask for, and he said once every fortnight to make the transition easier. His solicitor stated a newborn wouldn't be taken away from their mother for long periods. Overnight isn't usually offered until 3.. Unless the father has been a main parent along with the mother. I.E the father took paternity leave tec.

Try to talk to him, tell him your concerns.. and that you don't feel the child knows him well enough yet. He should want whats best for his child.. that's not being away from you. x