TTC #1 and no BFP at all

[Alexandra]

Okay this is probably a shi**y thing to ask but I'll wallow in my sorry-for-myself mood a bit more. I know there's quite a bunch of us TTC #1 but a few of us already had a mc so essentially got pregnant with their partners.

Doesn't that feel like a relief? Knowing the combination between the two of you produces BFPs?

I was wondering who else is TTC #1 and hasn't had any proof of the combination working so far. NeyNey, TrixieLox, Hays, Miel and Tishimouse is who comes to mind but who else is there in the same boat?

 

[bird24]

Hiya

I'm TTC #1

I was ttc over 2 years ago with my X husband for 7 months and nothing....

Now TTC with my OH its been 2 months and nothing...also wasnt great at taking my pill on time before that...OH has a LO though so it cant be anythng wrong with him......

I'm just hoping it works this time as its only been a couple of months so far.....fingers crossed

Although i do have suspected Endometrosis, having a Laparascopy done in the next few months to find out

Good Luck xxx

 

[mrscookie]

Im ttc number one. coming up to 3 years ago I was with my ex partner and
we ttc for 5-6 months with no joy, and we split up because he was a *******. Im now married to hubby matt and we have been off bc for 2 months now, but actively trying for only one month. Its not a huge amount of time i know-7 months over all, but it makes you wonder whats going on in there!

 

[Coffee]

Hey, interesting thread.
We have been TTC #1 since July. If i just knew that it was definitely possible, i think i could be a lot more patient! The not knowing if you are physically able is definitely an added stress factor in my opinion.
I guess having a mc could add even more stress than what us "no BFP's" have though as i wonder if you just swap your "can i conceive" worry to a "can i carry" worry?

 

[Michy]

It hasn't worked like that for me Kyrpis, I am more stressed about keeping this bean in me than I ever was about TTC!!!!!!!!!

 

[nicola647]

We have been TTC #1 for 9 months - if no BFP this month we will move into 10months TTC

 

[Lazy Leo]

Hi Kyp, I'm in your boat too I gues we just keep rowing - we'll get our babies hun, don't you worry.

 

[hopeful4baby]

No, it doesn't fell like a relief! I'm sure all the women who had a m/c thinks, why it wasn't allright? What is wrong with me? Twice we've got BFP straight away! I thought it was quite a miracle, but then I didn't keep any of it. Second time I was pregnant I was so nervous and scared, when it happened again, I can't even describe how awful I've felt. It has been my 12th TTC cycle since. I worried so much about keeping it before, now I'm worried whether I can even get pregnant again, and if I do, I'm back to worry can I keep it and after too dissapointments now I can't even imagine how hard it is going to be!! Perhaps that is even the reason I can't pregnant first of all??!!??!!

 

[Alexandra]

Okay I can see how this can come off insensitive and I'd like to apologize to the ladies that had a loss.

I'm perfectly aware "can I carry" is as much of a worry as "can I conceive" since indeed there is data to suggest the answer to either could be "no" for a small percentage of us. My point was more towards the "can we conceive" part of things but that still doesn't explain it. Look, I didn't mean to be arseholish and I'd be happy if a Mod would delete this thread (other contributors allowing) if it's thought to cause more offense than shed any light on our emotional state of being.

 

[TT's]

Kypris, I don't find this offensive, I find it very helpfull!

I'm in my third month of trying and tbh I wasn't that great at taking BCP for quite a while before I came off them and DB already has a child so I know he 'works' and it defo brings up feelings in my head of 'omg, what if My overies don't work'

And I know you ment no offense to those who have had a mc! I know exactly what you ment by this thread, without causing any upset to those who have had a mc cause that must be horrible, but it is also horrible not knowig if you can concieve
x

 

[wishing4ababy]

I didn';t find it offensive either. I had 2 early mc this year - and am doing BFP's (faint ones) at the moment. I am so scared that this one won't stick because of what has happened. I can't even get excited yet. not until this line gets strong. I shouldn't feel like this but i guess taht is how it gets you.
I don't think there's an easier option - but i do think i would rather not've known that i was pg so early then i would've just assumed AF had arrived. With my first I tried for 2 years so i know the pain of that too. It is all hard- they are just totally different emotions i think.....but they all boil down to the same thing - you are left wondering what is wrong, what are you doing wrong.
to everyone and hoping everyone gets their STICKY soon.

 

[hopeful4baby]

No, I apologize!!! I've read it back now and I didn't mean for it to sound horrible to anyone! I'm sorry I only wanted to give you a different point of view, not critisizing you. I just wanted to say that having a BFP with a m/c doesn't really help the matters, it only opens another question. Whatever position you are whether you had a m/c, or TTC for some time, it's still a very hard thing copying with. I wish all the ladies who haven't had their BFPs yet, once they do, it'll be a happy 9 months with the healthy baby at the end!! Sorry Kypris! I'll watch what I'm writing next time. This was meant to be just a vent..

 

[Dee_H]

Hi ...no worries Kypris..we know you didn't mean any harm...but I have to say that it is a relief to know I can conceive but like some of the other ladies said you worry when you do conceive...will it stay this time or will I have to go through all this again. I'm not even pregnant again and I stress that the next time it will happen again because it was the worst experience I have ever had. Either way I hope we all get our soon and all our lovely little beans stick. Take care girls and good luck.

 

[Arcanegirl]

*hand up over here* 2 years and 7 months and abselotley nothing.

 

[Kaelia67]

I think It's a reasonable thought process Ky.
A friend of mine has been trying for her first for some time. She has also said to me..."Well, at least you know you can get pregnant"! Very fair comment.

Even though sometime's I feel deflated and pissed off as it's been a year we have been trying now. It woke me up alot.
I am blessed I know that, sometime's it doesn't make it any less harsh as the way I feel about it does sometime's get me down. But I know It's happened before so it has a good chance of happening again.
In that way Yes It is something to cling on to. It give's me some hope that it will happen again.
But for all the ladies trying still that have no living children and have MC'd I would think it would open up another can of worm's for them.
They may know their body is capable of conception, but then will worry if their body is capable of supporting a pregnancy for nice month's. It would be such a worry.

I hope all you lovely ladies get your Sticky very soon. I would willingly take a backseat until you lot get your's.
Beside's I have already said I would very much like a summer baby anyway
Good luck, and Ky it was a viable question chicken, don't beat yourself up about it
xxxx

 

[SwissMiss]

Hey Ky, I think most people know you meant no harm. I'm just on my first cycle after a m/c now (CD4 as you know I think) and I must say it does help to know we can conceive and UNLESS a m/c happens again, I take some relief in knowing that they occur really pretty frequently, and I still have a great chance of conceiving again and for it to go on to be a healthy pregnancy. (I m/c VERY early, 5.5 weeks or so). So in a way, it does take one stress element away... I agree with Wishing tho', I wish I'd not know I was pg so early and just've thought I had a bizarre AF... but the old should've could've would've... and who'm I kidding, I'm the first to test early so...
Anyway, interesting thread, I don't think it should be deleted.

 

[Phexia]

Although I've had children I still went through this thought-process. The first time I got pregnant it ended in a m/c and after the worst part of it was over I did think that it was at least reassuring that I "could" get pregnant.

However the m/c changed my outlook on the whole pregnancy deal a lot and I was really scared when I got pregnant again and the scary thoughts never went away. I was a mess, worrying like crazy until I held my baby at last.

Sooooo ... even if I was reassured that I could get pregnant I'd rather have never been through the whole ordeal.

 

[Isabella]

Hey - we are TTC # 1 and I sometimes worry that we can't have children but am trying not to let worrying about it turn it into a reality! It kind of feels strange sometimes that so many people get pregnant by accident - apparently 40% of babies aren't planned - and then here we all are desperately trying and nothing happening!

I came off BCP in January and periods are totally messed up still. Can't wait for them to sort themselves out! We are still trying anyway though.

 

[hopeful4baby]

I would add to Phexia's post.. m/c will take all the innocence and excitement away. When you get pregnant, all you expect is a baby at end. Once you have m/c you never enjoy the next pregnancies the same way as those who never had them. Lots of "sticky" baby dust for everyone!

 

[TT's]

I agree with Isabella, I have talked to loads of women at my dance school (who have one or more children) and almost ALL of them were acidental! It just doesn't seem fair really...

But it is very ironic how we are all trying so hard and then some women forget their BCP's a couple of days and bingo