TTC#2 with a special needs child...how far apart?

[essie0828]

Lilesmom I got baby fever really bad when DD was about 5 months old. Ha! It seems like no time ago I was reading your ticker and little squishy man was 3 months. Time does fly with them.

 

[essie0828]

Mrs Jerome DD also has visual impairment, somewhat like your DD, except her eyes are out of alignment and we run the risk of loosing the brains ability to use the worse eye if we don't use patches to strengthen her eyes.

 

[lilesMom]

I just turned 31 so the clock is ticking I sorta want to be done with having babies before 35 so not too long to play with.

Wow, Miss B is a very strong little lady Hoping she makes a wonderful recovery.

I used to feel the same. I'm 33.
But my.sil and bro have 3 little ones aged 0,1 and, 2 . They started when sil was 38
And they r all perfect so I don't feel so rushed any more ;-)

 

[Foogirl]

We put it off thinking "wait until...." but looking back on it now, I actually wish we had TTC when she was a year old. My worry was how I would cope with a non mobile toddler and a baby. But realistically, that would have been much easier than coping with a non mobile 4 year old and a baby. They are a lot easier to lift at that age and Abby was still sleeping 2 hours every 2 hours! I don't have many regrets but that's definitely one of them.

 

[Foogirl]

I just turned 31 so the clock is ticking I sorta want to be done with having babies before 35 so not too long to play with.

Aye, I'll be forty next year - THAT is a ticking clock......

 

[lilesMom]

We put it off thinking "wait until...." but looking back on it now, I actually wish we had TTC when she was a year old. My worry was how I would cope with a non mobile toddler and a baby. But realistically, that would have been much easier than coping with a non mobile 4 year old and a baby. They are a lot easier to lift at that age and Abby was still sleeping 2 hours every 2 hours! I don't have many regrets but that's definitely one of them.

Thanks hon.xx
The more time goes by. The more I think I can do it.
I think I just hve to let a bit of time go to lose my fear
;-) and to enjoy some time with just Simon.

 

[maisie78]

We put it off thinking "wait until...." but looking back on it now, I actually wish we had TTC when she was a year old. My worry was how I would cope with a non mobile toddler and a baby. But realistically, that would have been much easier than coping with a non mobile 4 year old and a baby. They are a lot easier to lift at that age and Abby was still sleeping 2 hours every 2 hours! I don't have many regrets but that's definitely one of them.

Wow I hadn't thought of it that way! I have been putting it off a bit thinking I need her to be mobile first but of course, what if that takes another 2 years or more? Think we best get cracking

 

[twinkletots]

My second baby is only 14 weeks old and I am currently five weeks pregnant with number three!!!

I am quite sure it will be total madness but our thinking was that maybe this baby will help my daughter out with her development as they will be so close in age plusmy clock is ticking!
I do have some worries that this baby will have special need too as that would make things really tricky

 

[essie0828]

We put it off thinking "wait until...." but looking back on it now, I actually wish we had TTC when she was a year old. My worry was how I would cope with a non mobile toddler and a baby. But realistically, that would have been much easier than coping with a non mobile 4 year old and a baby. They are a lot easier to lift at that age and Abby was still sleeping 2 hours every 2 hours! I don't have many regrets but that's definitely one of them.

DD is closing in on 2 and we have put off ttc with the same "wait until...." mindset. I do think I regret it now. I really wanted kiddos closer in age. Wanted to get them both in school and get back to my job full time, but that's looking less likely. DDs' braces are in on the 27th and I'm really hoping she can manage walking and standing for longer periods. If so, we may stop putting off the ttc thing. I'm still scared though waiting till after the holidays.

 

[essie0828]

My second baby is only 14 weeks old and I am currently five weeks pregnant with number three!!!

I am quite sure it will be total madness but our thinking was that maybe this baby will help my daughter out with her development as they will be so close in age plusmy clock is ticking!
I do have some worries that this baby will have special need too as that would make things really tricky

Your hands are sure to full, and so will your heart. Congrats on the bean! H&H9 months!

 

[essie0828]

I just turned 31 so the clock is ticking I sorta want to be done with having babies before 35 so not too long to play with.

Aye, I'll be forty next year - THAT is a ticking clock......

Agreed.

Are you currently ttc?

 

[lozzy21]

We're not putting off TTC because of Niamh's disability. We wanted a big ish gap but I certainly worry about it. Not so much once the baby's here but I worry she's going to have a flare up when I'm heavily pregnant and I'm going to struggle to carry her upstairs, lift her in and out of the bath, off and on the toilet etc.

 

[sun]

I actually wish we had TTC a bit later, since my son had a really hard time with the baby for about a year. I think if he had been a bit older he would have understood more (they are just under 2 years apart). I think for him 3 would have been the magic number. It all depends on the kids though. And really who knows - 3 would probably have brought along it's own challenges that I haven't even thought of.

 

[HappiestMom]

3 and 4 are kind of hard ages because they want to help but dont know how and you have to stop them from doing things to "help"....younger ages seem almost easier because they dont even notice the baby or pay attention... in just the last 3 months my friends little girl who just turned 2 right before the boys were born..the first time she saw them she pretty much ignored them....we were there a few nights ago and she was constantly handing me stuff...trying to touch them and trying to "help" us adults lol....dont take me wrong it was cute...but I can imagine dealing with it 24/7 might get annoying lol lol..

 

[Mapleroo]

When had an 'oops' baby born 11 months after DS who is special needs. He didnt start having seizures till after I was already pregnant , but I was so worried about having a newborn with such an unstable first child (we were told he likely wouldnt even live to see his 1st birthday). Turned out to be the best thing ever! His seizures were controlled at about 1 year and once that happened his development began. They actually developed at about the same time. She started commando crawling and he mimicked her and followed her around. The same happened with crawling and walking. He is almost 13 and his little sister is 12 and she is his best friend. He is considered severely mentally handicapped , but she doesnt know him any other way and is his biggest advocate. I think it's different for everyone though. A friend of mine has a daughter with severe CP and she decided not to have any more kids because she didnt feel she could cope and be able to give her first all the care she requires. I think it's a very personal choice, but the way we did it (unplanned as it was lol) turned out well for us. All the best in whatever you decide

 

[SammieGrace]

I am glad I am not the only one who worries about this. My son is 2 now and I am in my last year of school so would want to wait until after that, but we were originally thinking 3-4 years between kids, but now it seems it may need to be longer. My son is starting to learn more words, but still doesnt seem to understand a lot and is still a baby in many ways. I still hope to have at least one more, but the challenges with him and changed our plans for sure...