TTC 6 months, 1 MC, When is it okay to lose hope? :/

[Jessie1993]

6 Months may not seem long, but it is! Why is getting pregnant and staying pregnant full term so hard? So many woman don't even try and BAM they're pregnant. I feel like I'm losing my mind trying to figure out when i ovulate and symptom spotting. And the worst part is when people say 'maybe it just isn't your time' Maybe it'll just never be ny time. After my MC this month i thought i was fine, but sitting home all day while my boyfriend works gives me so much time to think and obsess that I'm freaking out. I'm googling and googling everything. I just want to scream I'm so mad at my body. How do you ladies get through it? Im so emotional today. Its so hard and I'm breaking down.

 

[mod19]

If you're feeling down and emotional one day that's OK. If you're hopeful the next that's OK too. I was just told by another member that any feelings, angry, happy, sad or otherwise are OK! Honestly before that no one ever really said to me, its OK to feel the way you do, and it actually made me feel better. If you're mad towards others because they're pregnant that's OK! If you need to take a break and stop obsessing about it that's OK! If you need to keep pressing forward and do all you can do to have that little one that's OK too. I've been on this journey for three years, so I can empathise with you. I've given up hope before. I've felt defeated and helpless...and that was OK. But now I'm back and finally getting help and testing from a doctor and feeling hopeful again that maybe I've not been defeated quite yet.

 

[pandi77]

It's normal to go through a myriad of emotions when ttc hun. Each time I though about giving up I would discover something that got us to the next level in our ttc journey (6 years total btw) and closer to a sticky bean. I started charting which lead to using vitex which lead to progesterone supplements and at long last we have baby girl due in June. It's very draining emotionally and when we experience losses it makes it harder to pick yourself up again and try on the next cycle.

Don't box yourself in emotionally or feel you have to have a status in the journey to starting a family. I didn't really give up but "let go" after my 4th loss which was ectopic and I lost my tube as well. I just did everything I could to track my cycles and get healthy and regular again which was the right thing to do anyway. Vitex really helped me with regulating my cycles and ovulating again after each loss. Charting took the frustration out of guessing when I was ovulating and knowing AF was coming before she reared her ugly head each month.

As the previous poster said allow yourself to feel every emotion and work through each month as it comes at you. If you want to divert your attention there's a great book called Taking Charge of Your Fertility. It's a book with invaluable information that will help you throughout your life so you know your body better and maybe help you conceive? Best of luck and hugs

 

[Jessie1993]

How does charting work? Maybe i should try that. And excerciseing might help get my mind off of things also.

 

[pandi77]

How does charting work? Maybe i should try that. And excerciseing might help get my mind off of things also.

There are free apps for it online that also have matching phone apps so you can use your computer or phone to track your cycle each month and a popular one is Fertility Friend. Charting is taking you basal body temperature each morning at the same time before you get awake and out of bed. You plug in your temperature in the program each day and the Fertility Friend app creates a graph and tells you when you are most likely to be fertile. It also confirms when ovulation is and how long your luteal phase is each month so you know what your normal patterns are.

It's nice because during the two week wait most women get a temperature drop when AF is coming so you get a heads up and likewise if your temp stays high you know you might have caught the eggy before you test! My two biggest hurdles ttc were discovered through charting. My ovulation was delayed if it happened at all and my luteal phase was too short to give the egg a chance to properly implant. I was ttc at the wrong times and if i got lucky the fertilized egg had no chance There are so many questions I see on the forum that could be better answered or known for certain if we all charted. Did I ovulate? Did I ovulate when i think I did? AF is late and I'm still getting bfn's. When should I test? You get the idea

All you need is a basal body thermometer from walgreens or cvs and the Fertility Friend app is free. Just make sure to take your temp at the same time (even if you go back to sleep) and before you move or get out of bed. If you have a bad night of sleeping take your temp anyway and just note it in the program that your sleep was interrupted and FF will note your chart.

Good luck and pm me if you have any questions hun..

 

[Jessie1993]

Thank you so much for being so informative! Its so appreciated! Ill deff start charting in the next week or so!

 

[StranjeGirl]

Never give up hope! You wouldnt be human if you weren't feeling what you are currently feeling, but have your cry and them come up with a new plan. You will get pregnant!! You have to believe that in your heart. If there is a problem then you WILL figure it out and fix it. Taking charge of your fertility is a great book, and I highly recommend a book called making babies by sami David. It tells you what to do if you are not getting pregnant. Charting can be really helpful and both books can help you see issues in your chart if there are any. Hang in there and don't give up!! If something is not working then move to the next step and try something new!

 

[slg76]

Don't ever give up hope! But do let yourself be sad and angry and discouraged. I think we all feel that sometimes. The other ladies gave you great advise on charting. I had good luck using ovulation predictor sticks to conceive my daughter. I've been working on TTC #2 for a year and a half with one recent miscarriage. My fertility doctor says I have less than 5% chance of getting pregnant because I am going into menopause really early. That's just my hurdle and I'll deal with it and I WILL have another baby. I have down days but I never lose all hope. I do acupuncture and herbs and I swear by it. I think it makes a huge difference. I hope your wait isn't much longer. Remember that you still have to live your life now and not have everything revolve around TTC.

 

[PrincessMarle]

All I can say is that the odds are still very much in your favor, so giving up is not really necessary (it's never really necessary, honestly). You have a 1 in 5 chance of getting pregnant each cycle, then only a 2 in 3 chance of carrying to term. This means it can take a full year to achieve a viable pregnancy. In other words, being TTC for 6 months with a miscarriage is totally normal and does not mean you will not conceive and carry to term.

Being "ok" only one month after a miscarriage is also not reasonable. It's ok to not be ok. Let yourself grieve.