TTC after an ectopic pregnancy

[k.heffler]

On August 14th I had my right tube removed due to a tubal pregnancy, I was only 4-6 weeks along with my first pregnancy. I have read and been told so many different things; I'm really confused and upset as many people around seem to expect me to have gotten over the loss really quick. I my husband and I really want a baby and are concerned that it may not happen, at least not for some time. I'm 21 and fairly healthy, the doctor said that my uterus and left tube appear to be healthy. Please anyone who has had the same experience, could you share your experience and advice.

 

[smudge2]

I've not really got any advice but i've had the same thing happen to me. Lost my right tube last year just starting ttc now but really scared that it will not be easy. It would be nice to follow each other's progress. It took me a while to get over my ectopic and probably not really over it completely but it does get better and you need to just allow yourself to be sad when you feel you need to be.

 

[k.heffler]

I'm sorry to hear that you went through same thing. I am also scared, not only about it possibly being hard to conceive once more but also that it may happen again. Thank you for saying that it gets easier, I think I really needed to hear that because some days it sure doesn't seem like it will. Especially when I'm at the store and see all the baby stuff and people walking around with their little ones. As you mentioned, I also think it would be nice to follow each other's progress.

Thanks for replying. I hope that one day both of us will have healthy pregnancies.

 

[smudge2]

I know what you mean . I'm desperate to be pregnant again however I know when/if it happens i'll be a nightmare for at least the first 12 weeks! It really does take time to feel better, I found the whole thing quite traumatic and the thought of it happening again scares me. You don't only have the emotional side to recover from but also the physical . I don't know about you but I lost a lot of blood and as a result had no energy. I would say it was about a month before I felt my body had recovered.Feel free to pm me anytime if your feeling down or worried about anything. Getting my first AF after it was a good milestone it kind of told me that my body was normal afterall!

 

[k.heffler]

I'm almost completely recovered, physically, there's still some pain with certain movements. But I think I'm going to be on edge, emotionally for a while. I keep getting reminders of what happened and it only makes it harder. I don't have many people here for support, just my husband and his parents and sister-law and some friends. But its really hard to talk about, the only one who can really grasp how I'm feeling in my mother-in-law because she had a mc years ago. But yet, I feel even she doesn't really completely understand.

Its nice to know that there are complete strangers on this forum who have gone through the exact same thing and are here to support others. Thank you.

One thing I am worried about though is my first AF, the doctors never told me when to expect it. I've read between 6 and 8 weeks afterwards, but I know its different for everyone. How many weeks after did AF come for you?

 

[newbie]

Hi ladies.
I had my left tube removed due to an ectopic in Sept 08, was really traumatised by it and so went on birth control straight after. Stupidly, I had the depo jab which was supposed to be 3 months but took 6 to get periods back. Anyway, after trying and trying (a few blood tests to check I was ovulating) I got pregnant! And on the 1st Dec last year, had a healthy baby boy.

I know how you guys are feeling. Some people don't understand. Thats when I found this place and I was on it daily (ok, more like five times a day!) It helped to much to read about others, and chat.

I wish you all the best, keep strong, keep trying.

xxx

 

[smudge2]

My AF was about 6 weeks after . It was a relief because it just made me feel like everything was working. I was desperate to try straight away but my husband has been the reluctant one however in hindsight i think it has been the right decision. When I think about being pregnant again I think it will be great but when I really think hard about it I'm quite worried. There is no way I want to go through it again. Like you I have no family near by they are all 200 miles away but to be honest it's just somethihng i've needed work through on my own.

Thanks newbie it is really comforting to hear positive stories . I know noone else to have suffered an ectopic . I'm trying to be positive and just think i will get pregnant easily like i has twice before.

 

[k.heffler]

Newbie, thanks for posting. It was nice to hear a success story. Reading and hearing others experiences really does help. I'm so glad to have found this forum.

I think this is going to be something I have to work through on my own as well, of course I've always been that way so it doesn't really bother me. But I have some good news.. i think. I started spotting today!! Never thought I'd be so happy to say that. So now I have a question, how do i count the days of my cycle now? Would i count the day of surgery as the first day of my las period or what? Its only been 26 days since surgery.

 

[k.heffler]

AF has arrived!!

 

[princessx]

Hey all.

I had an etopic pregnancy last December and have since been using the implant as I was advised to give it 12 months for your body to get back to normal etc before trying again.

I know people try again a lot sooner so now at 10 months I am desperate to start trying again so I had the implant removed today

I do have horrible doubts from time to time as I had my left fallopian tube removed but on the other hand I have a friend whos had 2 children after having her fallopian tube and ovary removed and also the amount of success stories on the web are unreal.

Your chances barley reduce from just having one fallopian removed as your other one will transfer the eggs from both ovaries.

I think putting stress on yourself and worrying makes a mind over matter scenario which I believe prevents you from falling. Therefore I am just going to enjoy myself and have fun in the bedroom and when it happens it happens

1 month or 1 year... either way there are benefits wish you all luck ladies xx

 

[princessx]

K Heffler - miscarriage/ectopic pregnany is hard and your hormones will be all over the place right now so dont be too hard on yourself and if the forum is a way for you to release then its great you have found a way.

I would say there are many ways of thinking about whats happened to you and you can either let it over come you or you can stand up and fight and be strong.

I have depression, I like to say I have beaten depression but I am still on medication however I think I am 10 times happier than the general public as I have learn about me and my strenths weaknesses and points of destruction. I am a very negative person and do not understand the reasons for life and have thought about suicide since the age of 13 however what keeps me going is throwing the question in the other hand and saying I have only got one life and I must make the most of it doing what I enjoy otherwise what was the point at all.

I dont know if you see how this relates to you but I can imagine you are at a point in your life where your low and you are experiencing some sort of post natal depression which is completely understandable...other people may not understand or may not see the importance like you do, its not their fault and people still love you and you may find your husbands holding all together for you.

It might help for you to think of the loss of your baby as a nutral feeling rather than negative. It may be natures way of telling you it wasnt the right time. Also please know that 1 in 4 pregnancies are miscarries...it is not that unusual and you are not alone,

my advise is that you have one life, live it to the full. Thing happen for a reason. Dont worry about the past or the future...think about whats going on in your life right now and make it the best of it that you can because you wont get today back.

Prove to yourself how strong you can be. run through a list of all the amazing things in your life and smile.

share effection with your partner and feel the love you have together because that love with continue to develop each and everyday if you make your every day the best it could possibly be and not long from now you will be pregnant with a baby at the right time.

I have gone on a little bit in this and I have almost helped myself with my words lol but I hope just reading some of this will help you reflect on your emotions and make you stronger.

There is always someone out there who will listen and lend you some support.

All my love and best wises

 

[smudge2]

not sure when you would start counting. As i wasn't starting to try straight away I just started at day1 and tracked over a few months. My cycle has def changed since my last pregnancy , it's slightly longer but they say it's normal for it to change .

 

[k.heffler]

princessx, thanks for sharing your story and words of advice I think they may help me in the long run. I'm feeling much better than I have been, I just keep telling myself it wasn't the right time and when the right time does come around, I will have the love and support from husband, family and friends, and from everyone here at babyandbump.

my period was a bit different then before. it was actually one day shorter then usual, alot lighter after the first day, and added back pain that i never had before. interesting though, i was expecting to be in lots of pain as i have read that the first period after a loss usually hurts quite a bit.

 

[Heatherlt]

I had an ectopic pregnancy in late January this year. I was lucky enough to save my tube, but I am young and healthy too (I'm 22).
The doctors told me it was just a fluke and before we knew we could save my tube they told me that even with only one tube my fertility and chances of conceiving were still very high.

My first period after I stopped bleeding from the ectopic itself was also lighter than my usual and not painful at all. Not the norm for me and didn't stick either, lol.

 

[mixedbeautyx]

Hi, I had an ectopic in February 2010, I have been ttc ever since with not much luck. I had my left tube removed. I am trying vitamins at the moment. If anyone else is ttc after an ectopic would like to talk just message me

 

[k.heffler]

@ mixedbeautyx we should talk sometime. it would be nice to keep updates on each others progress.

@ everyone; as stated in my previous post, AF came and went. I started spotting on 9th, early morning on the 10th was actual bleeding, ended the 13th. Today (sept. 18th) I've started spotting again, and for a about 4 days i've had dull pain over my left ovary, not really painful more annoying than anything.

Any thoughts one this?

 

[mixedbeautyx]

We definitely should, and were almost the same age. Ill be 21 in december. Its hard and very frustrating being so young and having to deal with this. And makes ttc a bit harder. Send me a pm

As far as your last post, my ectopic was over a year ago so I am trying to remember. I believe I bled immediately following for almost two weeks? And then after I got my period back it seemed to be pretty normal. I think that my cycle length ended up being longer due to what happened .. and irregular too. Thats why ive started taking these vitamins called soy isoflavones to help with ovulation, regulating cycle and ttc. Its supposed to work like clomid if you are familiar with what that is. Because I also think the ectopic messed up my ovulation and i've never knew exactly when my ovulation was so I am starting to chart and use a monitor.

 

[cnat1771]

Hello Ladies, I had a miscarriage in Jan 11 and an ectopic May 11. My right tube was removed after in burst. My husband and I just started trying again this month. I know EXACTLY how you feel about being excited to get your period. I was so worried about getting pregnant again. Now I'm worried about another ectopic . I just hate this! All my girlfriends have easily conceived and had babies. Not that I'd wish this on my worst enemy, but do y'all feel like "why me!?!!" I know I do. It's hard to talk to my husband too. I know that he worries so much about me, and I don't want to stress him out. Thank you so much for the story about a successful pregnancy after an ectopic!

 

[k.heffler]

cnat1771, i feel the same way. I'm constantly thinking "why me". Last month when i had my ectopic, i had two cousins that both gave birth, another cousin is pregnant; and someone else that i know who was NEVER suppose to be able to have kids is now pregnant. I'm happy for them but its very hard to deal with seeing them have health pregnancies and I lose a baby, sometimes I feel like I did something that caused the ectopic.

 

[cnat1771]

I know. I was just at a charity auction I was helping with and the 3 girls I was working with were pregnant and my job was to display the baby clothes being auctioned off!! I had to just leave eventually. I know that I couldn't have done something to cause it, but the doctor still can't figure out why if happened. I'm so worried that I'll have another one or never have kids.