TTC after D&C or Miscarriage?

[ILoveme29]

Hello everyone I recently Had a missed Miscarriage, i found out at 8wks5days and had a D&C done at 9wks3days 8/18 due to having pain on my whole left side i didnt want to take a chance waiting any longer. This has been devestating to me being it was my first pregnancy. I found out that the babys heart stopped beating at 7wks3days. My Dr. told me to wait one full cycle and then i will do another iui. I was lucky to get pregnant really quickly with this pregnancy im just anxious to get the ball rolling again. Has anyone had a successful pregnancy soon after misscarriage or D&C i need all the hope i can get. im trying to stay positive, and I would like to say im sorry for all who has ever had to deal with this it is not easy.

 

[ktod]

I did. I had a MC at 7 weeks and tried straight away and got a BFP when I tested 4 weeks after the loss. The MC was my first ever pregnancy and then I went on to have my son straight after. I wouldn't wait personally.

 

[cheekylupita]

I don't know, as I had my first loss and pregnancy this month. Baby dust to you!

 

[joo]

I had a missed miscarriage almost two weeks ago now. I am eager to start trying again asap, just waiting for the bleeding to stop - it goes away and then comes back again! I was told medically it is fine to conceive straight away, they just like you to wait until your first period for dating the pregnancy. My nurse advised me to wait for 3 months though to get over it all emotionally, but for me I would just like to try asap. Apparently you are more fertile straight after a miscarriage, but i don't know how true that is! I wish you lots of luck and hope you get your rainbow baby soon xx

 

[Moma Ali]

I had MMC in february at 11 weeks, its 6 months later and nothing but I am infertile to begin with

I didnt have a D&C (I wouldnt anyway unless there was no other option, I just hate the thought - so scary) as it apparently very rare here according to the midwives and doctors at the hospital only 1% of people opt for it as they find it is unnessacerilly invasive and can cause longer bleeding and people usually opt for natural birth or med management the surgical removal (D&C) is usually only used if the placenta wont come out on its own after trying med management or if the patient specially requests it - it seems so common in america though from what ive seen, is their any reason for that?

I had med management where I went in to hospital for the day and they inducent labour with drugs, you have some contractions (I slept through them) and then you give birth naturally - bleeding was like a natural period and then everything cycle related returned to normal

 

[ILoveme29]

I had MMC in february at 11 weeks, its 6 months later and nothing but I am infertile to begin with

I didnt have a D&C (I wouldnt anyway unless there was no other option, I just hate the thought - so scary) as it apparently very rare here according to the midwives and doctors at the hospital only 1% of people opt for it as they find it is unnessacerilly invasive and can cause longer bleeding and people usually opt for natural birth or med management the surgical removal (D&C) is usually only used if the placenta wont come out on its own after trying med management or if the patient specially requests it - it seems so common in america though from what ive seen, is their any reason for that?

I had med management where I went in to hospital for the day and they inducent labour with drugs, you have some contractions (I slept through them) and then you give birth naturally - bleeding was like a natural period and then everything cycle related returned to normal

I actually find the D&C better for people who are further along, im sorry but I know the reason most do it is because mentally I could not pass my baby on my own and see it I will be a wreck and for the most part in America after the D&C they do a biopsy on the baby to find out what went wrong it makes more sense to me, why would you want to watch your baby flush down the toilet now that's scary. My D&C was no problems or painful at all. I advise it my baby would not pass and caused me pain and numbness on my left side. so you cant really judge on it its from case to case everyone is different.

 

[ILoveme29]

Thank you all ladies for sharing your stories. I will; be doing another iui in October I decided I will wait a month for healing. I got pregnant immediately with that procedure and im hopeful it will happen again. Baby dust to you all please keep me posted as I will do the same.

 

[Moma Ali]

I had MMC in february at 11 weeks, its 6 months later and nothing but I am infertile to begin with

I didnt have a D&C (I wouldnt anyway unless there was no other option, I just hate the thought - so scary) as it apparently very rare here according to the midwives and doctors at the hospital only 1% of people opt for it as they find it is unnessacerilly invasive and can cause longer bleeding and people usually opt for natural birth or med management the surgical removal (D&C) is usually only used if the placenta wont come out on its own after trying med management or if the patient specially requests it - it seems so common in america though from what ive seen, is their any reason for that?

I had med management where I went in to hospital for the day and they inducent labour with drugs, you have some contractions (I slept through them) and then you give birth naturally - bleeding was like a natural period and then everything cycle related returned to normal

I actually find the D&C better for people who are further along, im sorry but I know the reason most do it is because mentally I could not pass my baby on my own and see it I will be a wreck and for the most part in America after the D&C they do a biopsy on the baby to find out what went wrong it makes more sense to me, why would you want to watch your baby flush down the toilet now that's scary. My D&C was no problems or painful at all. I advise it my baby would not pass and caused me pain and numbness on my left side. so you cant really judge on it its from case to case everyone is different.

see im the opposit, I couldn't stand the though of NOT seeing and holding my baby and to be honest ive never met a woman yet thats regretted it (the further along the worse I would imagine that to be as you dont see much at 6 week but at 20 weeks you have a fully formed baby to hold) and just for infomation as you dont seem to understand med management - your not on your own with med management your in a hospital with fully trained midwives and you dont flush the baby down the toilet at all. Theres not even toilets there, they have special chairs so if accident happen the babies can be recovered (the parents dont have to see the child if they dont want) you can also opt for full strong pain killers so you dont feel the birth although I found it painless without but some people struggle) they need the midwife to check everything that came out to check to make sure the placenta evacuated too or theres an infection risk.

it is just a physically less invasive procedure as a D&C is surgery and med mangement is just drugs

in our case we had a naming ceremony at the hospital and then the chaplin organised a cremation at the local cemetery with full funeral standard (coffin, reading, eulogy and funeral books etc...) I also have photos of my baby, his ashes, the print outs from his funeral and his certificates (naming and creamtion) and we are having a plaque in the garden of angels but with D&C all I would have of my baby that we fought so hard for is 1 scan photo which I had to fight with the midwife to get

Im not judging anyone, I was simply asking why its so common in america... I assumed like most american healthcare things it would be cost related (as ive met american women on miscarraige forums who where given no other options) but couldnt figure out how surgery is cheaper than drugs

I know some people do medically need it either due to non passage, infection, molar etc... and of cause your health should be the important factor but as I said round here thats only 1% of cases, most seem to be opt ins or the only option the person was provided

Im also aware its each inderviduals personal choice (which is why you can request to have it here) but maybe its just me but I dont really understand why people would opt for it thats not a judgement just something I find strange but each to their own

I tend to avoid big needles in my hooha because it scares me (although ill have to get over it ready for IVF )

 

[ILoveme29]

You don't need to understand why if you are going to judge the opinion or option to do so. If that is what you do in your country fine I guess. but its no wrong way its an option regardless of how you feel and im sure ladies on this thread who decided to do D&C didn't care any less for their baby then you did. Its a very sensitive subject so to question someone's reasoning for their option is unacceptable and rude to me, we are all grieving.

 

[joo]

I am confused... the ERPC and D&C is a very common option in the UK.

I thought I would prefer to do it naturally, having been lucky enough never to have been in that position. When the time came though and I knew that my baby had died I was so unbelievably frightened of miscarrying naturally, of the pain and what I might see. My mind was made up before the nurse had even given me the options. I chose the ERPC under general anaesthetic so that I could go to sleep and when I woke up the worst would be over with and I could concentrate on grieving and feeling better. That's just my experience, hope it gives you a better understanding of why I chose to do it that way xx

 

[ILoveme29]

I am confused... the ERPC and D&C is a very common option in the UK.

I thought I would prefer to do it naturally, having been lucky enough never to have been in that position. When the time came though and I knew that my baby had died I was so unbelievably frightened of miscarrying naturally, of the pain and what I might see. My mind was made up before the nurse had even given me the options. I chose the ERPC under general anaesthetic so that I could go to sleep and when I woke up the worst would be over with and I could concentrate on grieving and feeling better. That's just my experience, hope it gives you a better understanding of why I chose to do it that way xx

exactly you never know why someone chose to do a D&C, I felt the same way as you emotionally I could not do it and plus it was 2 weeks already I had been walking around with my baby no heartbeat and in pain I could not wait for the baby to pass.

 

[Moma Ali]

You don't need to understand why if you are going to judge the opinion or option to do so. If that is what you do in your country fine I guess. but its no wrong way its an option regardless of how you feel and im sure ladies on this thread who decided to do D&C didn't care any less for their baby then you did. Its a very sensitive subject so to question someone's reasoning for their option is unacceptable and rude to me, we are all grieving.

I never said anything rude or personal or nasty or incorrect, I asked a simple question which is why these forum exsist

what I find rude is people giving out offensive, outdated, incorrect propergander to induce fear and remove people choices with lines line 'suffering alone' and 'flushing your baby down the toilet'

I provided factual infomation on other option and asked about the D&C at no point did I state the offensive, outdated, incorrect propergander on D&C about 'scaring' and 'infertility' because im smart enough to know that stuff is known to be wrong and offensive to anyone thats been through it

look at what you post and how seriously damaging it can be before you get annoyed at some asking a legitimate question

this post wasnt aimed at just D&C it also said 'or miscarraige' which allows anyone who had any other type of miscarraige to post here, I answered your question about months to concieve and yet you launched personally into an attack on choices due to my simple question (which no one has to answer if they dont want or feel it was a personal choice) the question was mainly to ask if that had been the only option offered and to allow some people to know their are other MMC options

I also didnt say ANYONE here loved their baby less at any point or werent grieving, you litrally wrote that we 'flush or babies down toilets' so it was you that said that im sorry MY experiance with MY baby and MY choice somehow makes you feel that but thats not my fault

 

[Moma Ali]

I am confused... the ERPC and D&C is a very common option in the UK.

I thought I would prefer to do it naturally, having been lucky enough never to have been in that position. When the time came though and I knew that my baby had died I was so unbelievably frightened of miscarrying naturally, of the pain and what I might see. My mind was made up before the nurse had even given me the options. I chose the ERPC under general anaesthetic so that I could go to sleep and when I woke up the worst would be over with and I could concentrate on grieving and feeling better. That's just my experience, hope it gives you a better understanding of why I chose to do it that way xx

sorry for you loss

its very interesting what you said about being common - maybe its a location thing like many NHS things

we where told its virtually unheard of for surgery here unless its required (ectopic, molars etc...) aparently they only do it if the couple requests because anasteic is more dangerous

I think fear is something everyone suffers with, mine was the fear of not knowing, its something you never think will happen so something people dont tend to know about.

I know it sounds morbid to some but while I was waiting for a hospital appointment I googled what to expect and their are great websites like 'lost innocents' where people can post pictures of their lost babies, I found it really help to know roughly what to expect but every baby is different, I found the pain to be nothing personally but I gave birth before without pain killers too, some people dont handle it well but the nurse have very strong painkillers on hand to help anyone that needs them and you can sleep through it or just watch tv

if you dont mind me asking how long has it been and are you feeling now, has it got easier or worse or stade the same?

you mentioned grief and to be honest thats the worst bit and im sure it hits everyone no matter their choice, I left work as I just couldnt face the superfical chit-chat but over all it wasnt too horrific straight afterwards

I cried uncontrolable when first told of the MMC, then calmed down and I think seeing him helped me with closure but leaving him at the hospital was horrible knowing id never see him or hold him again (except the photos) but organising the funeral with the chaplin gave me something to do and kept me busy and focused but now 6 months later its really hitting me hard - like a delayed reaction, everywhere I look everyone is pregnant and has babies and its that 'it should be me' thing

I also got straight back on the horse with the TTC as everyone told stories of instant pregnancies (even the midwives) which kept me busy at first too but it never happened for us, maybe realising we have to start the IVF system again is adding to the sudden hit of grief

 

[ILoveme29]

You don't need to understand why if you are going to judge the opinion or option to do so. If that is what you do in your country fine I guess. but its no wrong way its an option regardless of how you feel and im sure ladies on this thread who decided to do D&C didn't care any less for their baby then you did. Its a very sensitive subject so to question someone's reasoning for their option is unacceptable and rude to me, we are all grieving.

I never said anything rude or personal or nasty or incorrect, I asked a simple question which is why these forum exsist

what I find rude is people giving out offensive, outdated, incorrect propergander to induce fear and remove people choices with lines line 'suffering alone' and 'flushing your baby down the toilet'

I provided factual infomation on other option and asked about the D&C at no point did I state the offensive, outdated, incorrect propergander on D&C about 'scaring' and 'infertility' because im smart enough to know that stuff is known to be wrong and offensive to anyone thats been through it

look at what you post and how seriously damaging it can be before you get annoyed at some asking a legitimate question

this post wasnt aimed at just D&C it also said 'or miscarraige' which allows anyone who had any other type of miscarraige to post here, I answered your question about months to concieve and yet you launched personally into an attack on choices due to my simple question (which no one has to answer if they dont want or feel it was a personal choice) the question was mainly to ask if that had been the only option offered and to allow some people to know their are other MMC options

I also didnt say ANYONE here loved their baby less at any point or werent grieving, you litrally wrote that we 'flush or babies down toilets' so it was you that said that im sorry MY experiance with MY baby and MY choice somehow makes you feel that but thats not my fault

you specifically stated you didn't know why people would choose that is it our only option?, we are given other options and it is explained thoroughly, I just could not emotionally take seeing clots and etc of the baby. so I chose D&C as well as plenty of others im sure they were given the option as well, the Dr's here do explain exactly what each procedure does.