TTC After Loss 2011 BFP!!!

[pip7890]

Good luck with the appointment Puppycat.

I'm logging off now because I need to start packing up if I'm to catch my 7pm train home.

I'll try and get on later if I can.

Pip x

 

[BellasMummy]

Hey ladies!

Hope you are all ok!

Puppycat - Good luck with appt xx

Pip - I really hope it is what you think it was this morning!! FX'd xx

Lil - I want to see pics!! Good luck for tom too, I had nothing on 9dpo but then a line on 10dpo! xx

Em - Hope the month goes quick for you! xx

Poppy - Not long till you can try again! xx

AFM I am feeling quite anxious, I haven't had any symptoms really but the last few days I have been itching like crazy all over my body!

 

[pip7890]

Well I tested with fmu just now and it was still hoping that yesterday was ib. I had a dragging sensation in my uterus on Wed night so assuming that was start of implantation, followed by blood coming yesterday then hopefully I might get a tomorrow (if doesn't get me first).

MOT for car today. Fingers crossed for that too!!

Pip x

 

[puppycat]

Pip they say you can implant up until 12dpo so don't give up yet!
Only 6dpo today so no point testing yet. Sigh.

 

[poppy666]

Still early my lovely, everything crossed for you

 

[lilrojo]

Hey ladies.. tested this morning as well and still no darker.. ugh.. maybe im just imagining it... so annoying.. im also 10dpo..

 

[poppy666]

Post a piccy sweetie xx

 

[puppycat]

Yes post a pic x

 

[pip7890]

Bloody car failed MOT.

Worst day at work.

Feeling tugging sensation in uterus but no cramps or bleeding.

Absolutely fed up.

Pip x

 

[lilrojo]

will post a pic.. monday-as I think I will wait till then to test again will be 13dpo... sorry already threw it in the bin.. ugh why dont I think of that right away... I just take them look at it, think I see something, then get annoyed cuz feel its all in my head..

gonna try to wait until at least sunday to take another one but really hoping i can wait till monday.. hoping the witch doesnt show up before then.. this cycle has been more irregular.. normally 30 days and already have passed that mark..

I feel ya pip.. im ready for this day to be over.. no bleeding or cramping here.. just dull aches... ugh cant we just get a proper positve already..

 

[joey300187]

urgggghhh im so mad!! my "best friend" and bridesmaid at my wedding has just announced on fb she is 13 weeks pregnant! im so mad that she didnt tell me even if it had been a text at least it would have been her tellin me not me stumbling across it on facebook! urggghhhh some people!

sorry rant over
hope all you ladies are well? xxx

 

[lilrojo]

urgggghhh im so mad!! my "best friend" and bridesmaid at my wedding has just announced on fb she is 13 weeks pregnant! im so mad that she didnt tell me even if it had been a text at least it would have been her tellin me not me stumbling across it on facebook! urggghhhh some people!

sorry rant over
hope all you ladies are well? xxx

 

[pip7890]

Joey.

Pip x

 

[pip7890]

I don't know what's going on with my body at the moment but in the last 12 hours I've gone from competent woman to broken wreck. I can't concentrate or string a sentence together, I've lost my spatial awareness, my body aches and I've got a headache.

I'm fantasising about POAS all of the time and seeing that second line come up. Then I start to panic that I've misread my ovulation symptoms and got my dates wrong; or that I'm imagining my current symptoms. Then I think what if I am pregnant? When (not if) will I lose it? Then what if I don't lose it, how will it feel about having an old mother and will it's friends mock it in the playground when it's 15 and then I get all upset about that.

FFS AF isn't even due yet. Did anyone find out where I can be put in a coma for 9 months?

Arrrrgghhhh.

And to top it all - despite the car failing its MOT and a terrible day a work - I only go and almost run over a black cat that was crossing my path. FFS!

I'd have a whisky if it wasn't for the fact that I might be preggers.

Arrrrggghhh again.

Pip x

 

[poppy666]

Now running over the black cat would of been a nightmare, awww Pip hope your ok sweetie

I was lying in bed last night thinking of OPKs and threating if i miss the egg this month Also panic that im not going to get pregnant & if i do im scared to death its going to happen again and ask myself if it did will i even bother TTC again.. grrrrrrrrrr i hate the thoughts going through my head, wish it was all a nightmare and id wake up to being still 18wks pregnant

 

[puppycat]

Awww ladies

This is going to sound odd but I'm kind of glad I'm not the only one having these thoughts, I was starting to think I was the only crazy bee in here! lol.

I cannot think about anything other than POAS (well, and food but that's a whole new thread!) every time I go to the loo (and that's a lot trust me!) I think 'shall I...'

ARGH indeed

 

[pip7890]

Miscarriage leaves a horrible legacy. I've never enjoyed a pregnancy you know. I was so concerned about losing my second pregnancy I never enjoyed carrying my DS. I was so glad when it was over. I really tried to have a positive mindset with my third pregnancy and thought I was out of the woods so it blew me away when I lost the baby.

Personally I'm trying not to think 'well today I would have been xx weeks' because for me it doesn't help. It makes the loss even more acute and unfair and brings back all the anger. I will acknowledge the baby's due date and date of passing, as I do for my first.

It still hurts me to see people I know who are pregnant. Not because I don't want them to be, but because I want so much to be part of that exclusive club. I want to be special too. It's much easier with people I don't know. That pregnant stranger on the street doesn't affect me. I'll never have to see her or her baby again so I won't acknowledge what I see.

Like puppycat says it's good to know that I'm not alone in my thoughts.

Wishing lots of for us. We deserve it.

Pip x

 

[poppy666]

Pip i do try not to think 'i would of been that many weeks' but i find it hard b/c my sisters pregnant and i watch her progress and growth and even tho i know i shouldnt do it i cant help it. argggh annoyed at myself for doing it x

 

[pip7890]

That must be so difficult poppy. I can't even begin to imagine what that must be like.

Pip x

 

[puppycat]

I suppose I was lucky in a way because they had no way of knowing how far I was, I was a complete mystery. Because I had problems as soon as I got my BFP I didn't attempt to work out my due date etc, that has been helpful because I won't have a specific date in mind to worry over.

I had a late period before I got my BFP with my daughter, I will never know if I was pg then as I was too afraid to test but I know when my AF did arrive it was heavy and painful. Think it clarified it for me pretty much. I would have been due on my sister's 21st birthday then, it's hard to carry on as normal when these things are in your mind.